The Baby Agenda (709 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.75 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JMS (View user info) at 2005-09-03 01:48:03 EDT
Yes, the Baby Agenda. It's about time that this has been taken to the public, because it is a serious issue that needs to be discussed. Babies, and baby sympathizers, are promoting this agenda ON OUR OWN CHILDREN. I think we've all heard enough about the "Liberal Media", that is a non-issue. We're talking about a serious problem here. Dead serious. Serious 4 realz.
Each day, 353,015 babies are born worldwide while only 158,857 people die. Everyday the babies recruit more into their ranks, some of which my be your very won children. Worst of all, this agenda is promoted by the media, who celebrates every birth as if it were a miracle. Each day we have groups that protest abortion, and non-use of birth control. This behavior cannot be allowed or they will win. The family unit just cannot survive with the threat of babies.
What can you do to help fight babyism? First you must stop accepting the media-perpetrated idea that you are born a baby. You choose to be a baby. I was born just like the rest of you, and I'm a full grown man. My daughter was born not two years ago and even she is a toddler! Fighting babyism starts at home. Please, learn to perform abortions. Practice your shaking methods. Teach your children well, take them to protests and have them spread the message to their friends at school.
You may be wondering what the baby agenda hopes to achieve. The baby agenda, among other things, pushes for the right for babies to intermarry. Despite the fact that babies cannot have children, procreation being the God-intended point of marriage! Babies also demand the right to nondescrimination in hiring and military recruitment. Think of it! Babies in the workplace! Babies in the military! Babies pumping your gas and protecting your freedom! The absurdity makes me want to spit.
There is some speculation that we could possibly send the babies that have already been born into Iraq to support this great country we live in to defeat a great evil. Iraqis are far less educated than us. They will greet the babies with open arms, babies that are armed with explosives. It's obvious. Of course, they could always just patrol Guantanamo Bay, too. Then again, if this doesn't work you can help stop the agenda by having an abortion. Don't birth that child! Send him off to feed our troops! Freeze dried and locked up tight in a MRE.
DID YOU KNOW...
--Babyism wasn't a form of identity until the 1960's? There was no such thing as babies before then, even in ancient Greece?
--Babies have a 300% more likely chance of contracting HIV/AIDS as grown-ups?
--Since babies do not procreate, they must gain members through open recruitment?
--In Canada, where babies are welcomed with open arms, puppies die?
--Babies will molest anyone, including OTHER babies?
--Babies are laterally symmetrical?
--Babies' heads are not fully formed to allow easy passage through other babies' butts?
Thank you for taking your time to read this message and for your effort in helping to stop the spread of babyism.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-09-04 01:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Attn: Babie Menz
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-09-03 15:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...
i'm at a loss for words
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-03 14:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-09-03 10:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-03 05:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pop pop pop
Submitted by mastershake (user info) at 2005-09-03 02:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-09-03 01:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm pretty sure it's the white trash, street nigger drug addict, MTV mindless consumer whore that's the main contributor to 'babyism'.
And the dinks--those bastards don't do anything BUT breed.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-09-03 01:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And I helped!