How NOT to pick up chicks (924 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.06 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by iradney (View user info) at 2005-09-06 09:42:29 EDT
A weird thing happened to me today.
I went to gym, like I normally (try to) do every morning. Parked my car, got my kit out, and crossed the street. Walked past the corner shop, got into gym and got my sweat on. Yay, fun, aching muscles etc etc.
Fast forward to being DONE with gym. Walk out of gym, start fumbling for my car keys, which I can never find after gym, no matter how carefully I place them in my kit bag. I approach the corner shop, which also happens to be a hobo hang-out by the looks of things. There's always one or two unemployed guys hanging around there, looking bleary-eyed and world weary. I normally ignore them, but I'll greet em if they greet me. No point in being rude...
Anyway, so I'm walking along, and I notice that the two Portugese guys that own the shop are outside chatting to one of the hobos. It's none of my business, but they seem to be...giggling?? Men GIGGLE?? They scurry back into the shop, and the aforementioned bergie (which is afrikaans for hobo) approaches me.
"Hello my darling," he says. My first thoughts are: 'My darling? Excuse me, are you a close friend or relative? Are you my boyfriend? No? Right. Good. Don't call me that.'
I kind of semi-nod at him, and he continues: "My darling, there are two men in that shop who watch you walk past every morning, and they would love to have your phone number."
I very politely inform him that I can't give out my number, as I have a boyfriend. He looks at me (a little desperately) and replies: "Oh, that doesn't matter!" My refusal becomes a little chilly, and he gave up. But not before trying to ask me for money.
I didn't have any to give him. Kinda sorry about that, he seemed like a pretty...um...human old man. But on my drive back home, I started thinking (doesn't happen that much, my brain is on hiatus). Why couldn't those guys just have asked me themselves? Sure, there's always the possibility of rejection, but then I wouldn't have come home and told all my housemates about it. They would have been forgotten. Now, however, they are the founders of the Hobo Dating Service. And that's not all, they're not just the founders...
They're also members.
User Reviews
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-09-07 02:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OMG OMG i got insulted by Shlongy!! my existence is finally validated!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-09-06 18:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
They probably needed a forklift to pick you up, toots.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-09-06 17:58:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's a tip: Whenever two Portuguese males are into the same woman , it means they're probably interested in going Double Dutch on your orifices.
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-09-06 16:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:20:24 (#)
Ranking: -1
So the bottom line is: some guys asked another guy to ask for your number.
Wow.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-06 16:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Why couldn't those guys just have asked me themselves?"
Because men are lazy....DUHHHHHH
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-06 16:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people would rather make a fool of themselves and all of the people around them, as opposed to just making a fool of themselves.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-09-06 11:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-09-06 11:06:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think South Africans are sexy
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Yeah, that chick on Leathal Weapon 2, w00t!!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-09-06 11:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think South Africans are sexy
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sure unabonger..
*eats note*
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey...will you give this note to susan in first period? she stole my lunchbox the other day and i think it means she likes me.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love south african accents, not like Nicole kidmans tryhard one in that movie, but real pure South African accents.
Actually it just came to me I love all accents, I'm just a whore for anyone that sounds different to me.
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uh
what? what thing?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So when do we get your installments of 'How to pick up a chick" ???
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Go on, say it...
It's HILARIOUS!
SAY IT! SAY THE THING!
YOU KNOW, THE THING! THE THING!!
LIKE THAT GUY IN THE MEL GIBSON MOVIE!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mike
not british
South African
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You whacky britts.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
So the bottom line is: some guys asked another guy to ask for your number.
Wow.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I cant actually think of a better way to attract women than throgh correct aplication of vagrants.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-09-06 10:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How NOT to pick up chicks
1. What the post said
2. Be like me
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-09-06 09:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
apollo - ek is engels en afrikaans. that means i'm english AND afrikaans. i'm a cross breed...english mom, afrikaans dad...
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-09-06 09:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have given him ya numba
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-06 09:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so you are a dutch south african?
a proper afrikaaner?