Tribe (993 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: crap:non-fiction
Rating: 1.6 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-11 11:04:00 EDT
They're stripped to the waist, and their sweat mixes with the dirt to form intricate and unreadable glyphs across their skin. Silent and solemn, they grip their weapons tightly and press deeper into the forest.
This cadre, this offshoot, this splinter group of five, has been tracking their prey for an hour now. Unrelenting they follow it across the terrain, stopping to check for signs of its passing when the trail grows faint. And it is here that the bickering starts; faint at first, nothing more than a hostile glance, or a sharp word. But sooner rather than later, the divisive split in their ranks is clear; the tall blonde is certain the prey has headed for the trees and awaits them there, fangs dripping with the blood of a thousand kills, but wounded and weak. The redhead argues that the trail clearly leads out of the trees, towards the grassy plain - out here, he says, it'll be a footrace, one they have little chance of winning. He wants to return to the village, to eat and rest and plan the next stage of the hunt.
This difference is insurmountable. Heated words are exchanged, weapons brandished and shaken. The blonde and his two staunchest followers head into the trees, ignoring the jeering catcalls of the remaining two.
The redhead is furious. He is the leader, he tells his sidekick as they trudge back to the village. It should have been his call, his final decision. His follower nods, hearing the delirious joyful cries of the hunters in the trees behind them. He yearns to go back and join in; the blonde is forgiving and will accept him into the ranks. But tribal loyalties insist that once a decision is made, once a leader is chosen, then that decision and leader must be followed.
And the Law of the Tribe is all. It cannot be gainsaid.
Unknown to his follower, the redhead is seething with forbidden thoughts. The Elders, he says to himself. If he carries his tale to the elders and puts just the right spin on it, he will have won; the others will be called back to the village and forced to abandon the hunt, just as he wanted. They'll be made to explain themselves and oh, god, how he wants to see them cringe under the stern eyes of the Elders. He wants to see them brought low and this selfish ache is what finally pushes him over the edge and forces him to break protocol.
He approaches the Matriarchal Elder, meeting her eyes in the tribe-honored way of showing honesty. He tells his tale, exaggerating where he must; the others, he says, have gone into the trees after their prey, and their leader struck him and cast him out of the hunt.
The Elder raises her voice and lets out that mystical, awful cry - it can be heard all through the length and breadth of their territory, and it must, at all costs, be obeyed.
When the others arrive, it is but the work of moments for the Matriarch to uncover his lies. She fixes him with her gaze and pronounces his sentence with the irrevocable finality of Authority:
"If I catch you lying again, James, I'll call your mum and tell her you're not allowed over anymore."
James looks at the floor. This is a small punishment compared to what his friends are going to do to him for ruining the game. They might even go so far as to make him play the Princess who needs rescuing next time.
But that's later. Right now -
"It's time for lunch. Go and wash up, you're filthy. What the hell do you guys DO out there all day?"
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-17 17:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You really are really good.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew the plot pretty early on, mainly because I've been that little boy and secondly because I read a lot of calvin and hobbes... Beautiful.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-09-13 05:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gold dust. Wish it had been longer.
(Also + for "gainsaid." Haven't seen such an anachronism of a transitive verb inflected so felicitously into past tense since Lord Byron was "waylaid" by Lady Caroline Lamb whilst en route to visit the Nottingham weavers.)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-12 16:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
R L R L R L B A gets you a free life, try it!
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-09-12 05:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still remember playing out a scene similar to this with my cousins when we were kids, and my mum was the tribe matron.
+2 for reminding me of those worry free times.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2005-09-12 02:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEhe.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-09-11 21:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck it, I didn't even read it.
~~~
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:08:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOO GO TRIBE!
Oh, wait...
~~~
11-2 in the 3rd, w00t!
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-09-11 19:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-09-11 19:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha:
___
Wob45y16: and 4 is like wow it's not a kids book
greg: haha nice
egerg: im stoked
erhh: does he dick that little girl who admires him?
Wobb456: you'll have to wait and see
dfhe: in other words; in her ass
drhder: cool
Wobb54: but ginny does seem to be hotter as the 5th and sixth books come along
Wob856: more like an adult
dfjg: bonalicious
Wob745: so you can be like wow a little vixen and only feel like a 25 year old dating a 16 year old instead of a full grown pedophile
h45h: hahaha
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-09-11 18:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
All that gay bickering made me smile.
No, it did the opposite.
+1
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-09-11 18:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehe well done. I've seen this scenarior played out again and again lately but I'll be looking at it in a different light now.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-11 15:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-09-11 13:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe. Can you imagine 'Lord of the Flies' with someone's mother along? "No children you can't hunt pigs with sticks STOP BOTHERING PIGGY THIS INSTANT, YOUNG MAN"
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-11 13:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cunts
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:26:45 (#)
they didn't take the moms because they were being evacuated from wartime england, you dumb fuck, and the author deliberately put no females of any age on the plane because he knew if the scenario were to actually happen there would be rape on the island which he knew would look good for publishing.
-------------------------------
Really? I had no idea. Thanks so much for enlightening me, and everyone on the site. I shudder to think what our fate would have been if we'd been left to wallow in darkest ignorance without the benefit of your transcendant wisdom. I'm sure William Golding is sleeping easily in his grave with such intelligent and articulate interpreters of his work left behind to clarify his intentions.
You're a shining beacon to guide us in the darkness. I just thank God no one on Earth would piss on you to put out the fire, depriving us of your brilliance.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is gay.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:28:30 (#)
Ranking: -2
wash your fuckin hair
____________________________________________-
Rate the post, not the poster, fuckstick.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:28:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wash your fuckin hair
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:27:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
/would not
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:26:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:09:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why they didn't let the moms go with them to the island in Lord of the Flies.
Nicely done.
----------------------
they didn't take the moms because they were being evacuated from wartime england, you dumb fuck, and the author deliberately put no females of any age on the plane because he knew if the scenario were to actually happen there would be rape on the island which he knew would look good for publishing. meanwhile with all this fucking feminist bullshit I'm thinking circe is probably lojope
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You never cease to amaze me
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"...the redhead is seething with forbidden thoughts."
--
Yup.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why they didn't let the moms go with them to the island in Lord of the Flies.
Nicely done.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOO GO TRIBE!
Oh, wait...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-09-11 12:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, ProfessorFuckChump, compare her stats to yours.
Uber has spoken.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you are wrong when you indicate you have limitations.
You have an obvious talent for writing, FuckFace be damned.
Your stories are more entertaining and better-written than
his any day of the week. Keep writing.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:32:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
actually one of the products of my genius has just been showcased on a very prestigious webpage, meaning I'll get the exposure of a 1/4 million hits
_________
That matters to you? I mean, this is an achievement you take pride in? Well, in that case, congratulations.
As to the other: this - writing silly little stories - is something I do for my own amusement. I'm easily amused, you see; goes with the frighteningly low IQ. I used to be a tutor, and I was good at it. Right now, I'm a fulltime mother, and I'm good at that. In two years when the twins are in school and don't need me as much, I'll go back to Uni and earn my degree, and I'll be good at that, too.
I'm good at the things that matter, squattail, and I'm not ashamed of any decision I ever made. Your ceaseless comments here and on AIM don't upset me, or hurt me; I'm too old for it anymore.
You want to attack my Uberposts? That's okay; I know better than anyone exactly what my limitations are. I'm fully aware that what I write is not up to any kind of standard.
And this is the last time I'm going to respond to your endless stirring. I'm done. If you want a response, go and stir somebody younger and more likely to take your attacks to heart.
Again - sincere congrats on your website thing if that's important to you.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:43:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's an example, I haven't posted anything goatse in about a year, so give circe her compulsory positive rating and maybe she'll give you an e-blowjob or something
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I really enjoyed this.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"And here's a little advice: you can't buy photoshops of goatse in a book store. "
holy shit, you cant actually be seriously taking pride in ps-ing goatse, you fucking retard.
nice story. +1
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:32:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually one of the products of my genius has just been showcased on a very prestigious webpage, meaning I'll get the exposure of a 1/4 million hits, meanwhile all your stories fade into obscurity after only a couple of hundred people click on them, decide they aren't going to waste their time with the poorly written uninteresting story, and click "back". And here's a little advice: you can't buy photoshops of goatse in a book store. Meanwhile millions of published works beat the shit out your pathetic attempts.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuckface, squattail, whatever: It's a gift. It's closely related to the gift I have that allows me to not actually care enough about your opinion to defend myself to you. Now run along and photoshop some more goatse pics, there's a good little genius.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you do it? How do you manage to submit post after post containing lame story after lame story that people just click on, give the obligatory +2 without reading, then close? Don't even fucking bother. Unless you are just doing this to prove some useless point, in which case please go on, it's not like you have a job or role of significance to fulfil.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Multi-decade flashback
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-09-11 11:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! This made me smile so hard my face hurt.
How do you do it?