Diary Of A Kaote - part 4 (592 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Kaote
Rating: 2 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (View user info) at 2005-09-12 15:46:40 EDT
Last Chapter - http://www.ubersite.com/m/74888
Andrea flexed her will over the Chaos, bringing it to focus. Like a surgeon she manipulated the probabilities of the universe, altering the formal outcomes of reality. Atoms shifted, numbers exchanged places, X variables became quantified. She saw through the building blocks of Aethyr, right to the source of the genesis equation. Andrea tapped on it, flicked at it, swiveled it thirty-two degrees to the left.
The loud girl walking across from the anthropology building tripped, and fell face first into a azalea bush.
Andrea and Ed tried to contain their laughter behind coughs. They failed at this mission, gaining the middle finger from one of the girl's allies. Ed's flashed his powers, making that guy slip in the mud as he tried to help the girl up. This time, Andrea laughed out loud. After the embarrassed parade had made there way out of sight, she turned to him with a grin.
"That really was mean, what we just did."
"We were enacting the balance on an Order plane. It's what we do."
Andrea took a sip of her coffee and smiled. It had been two months since Edward Sands had come to her and appraised her of the "Situation." They had met at the beginning of the semester in a study group and became friends. He had learned through his abilities that she had cancer. He had taken it upon himself to heal her disease, effectively marking her as Minor Kaote, a mortal Avatar. She was no longer bound by human standards, imprisoned by the paradox laws of the Order Plane. She could reach out into the Metacosim and force her will to rebend physics to meet her needs.
This had all been a little hard to swallow at first.
He had told her how he had to actually go into the Bleed to converse with higher creatures on the matter. The Bleed - the sifting space between Order and Chaos, the Astral barrier where ancient courts were held in honor of of concepts that mortals couldn't even grasp. The mending arena of equal parts yin and yang, night and day, good and evil, male and female, all opposites compressed into one.
Ed had slipped into the path, farther into the void, marking his way with the sound of vibrant colors. Hues of green hummed in his wake as he passed by, his passage the scent of a forgotten alphabet. It took only the time in between breaths. Such was the way. He drifted at the tune of neon fractal thought patterns, gliding through the wet mathematics. He was watched, but never questioned. He was mocked, but never attacked. He was lured, but never seduced. It took only the time for a sun to burn out. Such was the way.
Ed had consulted the Divine Write. It had told him that, indeed, Andrea was now his. He was to impart all that he knew, all that he believed, unto her. She was a new agent of change, in an ever changing universe. Order would hear none of it, but the High had spoken. Her mortal identity had been stripped from her, her avatar status installed. She was Ed's responsibility now.
Andrea took another sip of her coffee and smiled again.
She hadn't taken much convincing that something was up. Her life had been getting increasingly strange ever since meeting Ed. Not that she would have ever pinned it on him, but all of last semester was weird. When she couldn't sleep one night, a month ago, only to have Ed show up at her dorm room, that kinda clinched it. He tried to explain things to her, showed her some parlor trick stuff. She already knew. She knew when she had opened the door. Ed had been surprised at her quick understanding and acceptance of all of it. Mostly, he had be relieved. Another way Chaos had worked in their favor.
They had spent a lot of the last four weeks together. He was surprised at how fast she had taken to the Chaos. He had been born an Avatar of Chance, Agent of Change, a Chaos Mage. Although he wasn't "Immortal," he wasn't mortal, either. Everything had taken him years of trial and error, practice and patience, and Andrea had learned about fifty percent of his abilities in a month. Ed said it was remarkable, but Andrea was worried that he was resentful. Here she was, just a mistake really, showing up her mentor. But Ed swore he was proud. Said he was just relieved that she could take care of herself, should the situation present itself. It was when he said stuff like that, that this whole new experience scared her.
Another sip of coffee, another secret smile.
Ed. She couldn't help smiling at the thought of him. She knew that he only thought of her as a friend, a student. She felt slightly more for her mentor. He had brought her something she could never thank him enough for, a purpose, a reason. It didn't help that he was charming and stupid cute, either. She had actually wondered what would happen if she tried working the Chaos on him. Just a little...
"Hey, are you hungry?"
"What?'" asked Andrea, being pulled from her daydreams.
"You hungry?"
"I could eat. What are you in the mood for?"
"I don't know," replied Ed. "I could go for some Chinese."
"Ewww! That Mr. Wok place sucks. I guess we could catch the bus and drive over to Evergreen Buffet. They're kinda expensive though."
"Or we could go to China."
Andrea carefully sat her coffee down on the concrete step. She had better pay close attention to this. She had a feeling Ed wasn't joking around. Oh, god! China!
"You're saying we can travel to China to get Chinese food."
"Yep."
"You're being serious? You're going to show me how to do this?"
"I'm really hungry for some authentic Moo Shu pork. Take my hand."
Andrea grabbed hold of Edward's hand. She closed her eyes, but could not help but smile.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-26 13:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not as good as previous ones, but I haven't the heart to give this less than +2.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-09-30 17:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-08-19 10:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-07 22:51:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 already read series just giving author his due.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-09-28 11:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Overuse of the word "had," I think. Dude, let me be your editor and we'll make it all the way to the top, baby! I'm talkin' millions, kid! Waddaya say?
Or I'll just keep reading on..
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-09-14 15:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I think I read all these already but they're still entertaining so I think I'll keep reading. Very enjoyable.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff dude. That paragraph describing his trip through the bleed was fucking awesome.
However, since paragraphs like that make the chaos-magic thing seem so complicated and hard to grasp (i.e. wet mathematics, fractal whispers, pine-scented alphabets), I find it equally hard to believe that Andrea is that much better than Ed, so fast. I know, you can attribute that to the Chaos of it all, but that's starting to sound like a too-often used cop out explanation.
I'm going to liken this to Harry Potter for a second. Stay with me here.
One of the things I don't like about Harry Potter books is that Rowling doesn't seem to have any rules to the magic she writes about. Teleporting and changing wands into snakes is easy, but turning yourself into a dog is almost impossible (or whatever). It gives me the sense that she just makes shit up as she goes because it's convenient for the story. I get the sense that this is starting to happen here.
You're not being blatant about it yet, but I'm starting to get suspicious. Just something to watch out for.
I feel ridiculous even mentioning this point, for some reason.
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-09-12 23:12:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've done it again. Another lunch time being able to read some quality stuff. I like the way that we are being shown some anecdotes about the characters rather than jumping straight into action (not that I don't love the action).
An additional typo that stuck out to me was this one:
"Mostly, he had be relieved" was obviously meant to be "Mostly, he had been relieved".
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2005-09-12 22:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, I love this series...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-12 21:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dan - I think I had it reading as she just fell into a bush at first, but I really wanted to add something to that sentence to beef it up. Of course, once I settled on Azelea, it wasn't in my computer's spellchecker, so I just winged it. I never even noticed the "a" to "an." Damn you for being observant! *shakes fist*
Lady Plural - The "Diary" series is pretty subtle. There is no great action or great conflict. As things progress, it will become clear that this is a tale about the characters and how they interact. The fact that they have supernatural powers is a sidenote. Now, eventually, I will bring Edward Sands into the next series "Saving Grace" and he will have rammifications in the "Fallen Faith" series, which is directly linked to "The Search" series. Like I said before, this has about 25+ chapters to it. Please hang on with me for a while. Things will start to pick up for you soon I hope!!!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-09-12 21:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful.. particularly the passage about the sounds of colors. I like how you blend the senses.
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-09-12 19:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You keep making it happen ... you create great stuff over and over
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-09-12 18:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Niiiiiice.
But, dude, get to the point if there's actually a story in this! I mean, I understand that you're trying to set things up and give us a background, but come on- I demand instant gratification.
What? I'm a helpless product of my culture. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-09-12 18:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not to be a dick or anything, and I love your writing, but as a minor note:
"The loud girl walking across from the anthropology building tripped, and fell face first into a azalea bush."
It should be "an azelea bush."
And there was one more minor error, but I forgot where it was. Still +2 but just to let you know...
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-09-12 17:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-09-12 17:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-12 16:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-09-12 16:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaos, I just reread this post. Have another +2.
Great story. . .
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-09-12 15:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-09-12 15:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go Eagles!
MNF - WooT!
+2