Mikethescottish, Explain Yourself. (894 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.39 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dervel (View user info) at 2005-09-13 07:15:26 EDT
Mike, kindly explain to me why you did a poo in someone's oven.
Then explain to me why I was woken at 3:28 this morning by a drunk Scottish fellow who felt obligated to tell me in detail that you had taken said dump in his oven and were now sleeping in your own excretion on his kitchen floor.
I was informed that the poo in the oven was "neither a euphemism nor a metaphor" but actual bum emission.
Why Mike, why?
Further questions, was it necessary for the Scottish fellow to ridicule me for being English? We have just won the ashes you know.
Last question, why will nobody believe me? I have the call details on my phone and everything. Is it so improbable?
It's not as if you Scots are known for impeccable hygiene.
User Reviews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-09-29 13:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:20:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you go about shitting in an oven, anyway?
-------------------------
Pull out the rack and hope you don't have the runs.
File this post under 'what the fuck?'
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-29 13:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pfft, Berty. That's not all he did....
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-29 13:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-29 12:55:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
MICHAEL!! I demand that you come on AIM RIGHT AWAY.
I need you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Har Har
You dated a bloke who poos in ovens.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-29 12:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MICHAEL!! I demand that you come on AIM RIGHT AWAY.
I need you.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-09-29 12:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
May as well use this post for my 'grand return'. Heh.
The story is partially true. My drink was spiked with something and my whole evening (and most of that week) was lost to my memory. Whilst I cannot deny that something happened, it wasn't quite as bad as all that, although it is far from worthy of being brought up in everyday conversation. The whole incident left me quite ill for a significant period of time, although thankfully most of the... defecation stories are quite false.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-09-19 10:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is STILL unresolved??
and this is one of the funniest mental pictures I've ever had:-
His coworkers told him later that he'd performed some sort of finger-puppet show with some fish-heads behind the counter. They spoke with German accents.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-14 12:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so glad I found this. Allow me to enlighten you all on a gem from my darling Michael whilst he and I were dating last winter:
Around New Year's, he and I were on the phone and I listened to him as he drank at least 2 litres of lemonade, coke, whiskey, and vodka, then a case of french lager, and then proceeded to crash about his house, breaking cabinetry and having a pee in the garden. He fell over during one pee and told me that the pee had "gone all steamy" right before he passed out for a good 5 minutes, face in said pee. He then woke up suddenly, tried to go upstairs, puked on the phone, broke a lamp, wept for the broken lamp, lamented having to go smell fishguts at work the next day, and passed out again.
When I talked to him the next day, he told me about how he'd still been drunk the next morning and had no memory of anything he'd done. His coworkers told him later that he'd performed some sort of finger-puppet show with some fish-heads behind the counter. They spoke with German accents.
I will be happy to attempt to get to the bottom of the oven-shitting, but I seriously doubt that Mike will remember any of it. Unless his equally pissed friend managed to remember it and tell him the sad tale next morning.
I love you, Dervel.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-14 04:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alas no apollo.
I figure Mike is still elbow deep in Mr Muscle. Sure he'll explain himself soon though.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-14 04:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IS THIS RESOLVED YET? I COULDN'T SLEEP FOR THINKING ABOUT IT
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-14 03:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
simple, really.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-14 03:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:20:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you go about shitting in an oven, anyway?
-----------------
Elementary.
You become completely pissed to the point of stumbling about and such.
You then go into your friend's kitchen and open the door to the oven.
You drop your trousers 'round your ankles, squat, and deposit poo upon the open over door.
Now for the clever part. Wait for the poo to dry slightly.
-"waiting for it to dry? thats not very clever, now is it?"
No, that wasn't the clever part. This is the clever part: slam the door shut. Hard.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-14 03:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So was I Spam, so was I.
I'm most perplexed by it all.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-09-14 03:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was really hoping to come into work today and this conundrum would be solved.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-13 16:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ovenshitting? cool
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-09-13 14:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dutch oven joke
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-13 11:16:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:18:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
I gotten soundly beaten up by a 15 year kid on Saturday night.
Humph.
Also true. """
post pictures.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but whom shat it and why?
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:20:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you go about shitting in an oven, anyway?
---
Tubgirl?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:18:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
I gotten soundly beaten up by a 15 year kid on Saturday night.
Humph.
Also true.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How did that happen? where there loads of them?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We're all waiting for Mike to explain that AJ.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you go about shitting in an oven, anyway?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I gotten soundly beaten up by a 15 year kid on Saturday night.
Humph.
Also true.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I had a stalker. He'd clean my home and make sure there's always fresh milk in the fridge. He'd make me bacon and egg when I woke up in the morning and he'd nail the exhaust back to my car whenever I'd take a speed bump at 40 mph. He'd kill people I don't like without me asking and he'd always be looking out for me.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:00:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking hell spam stop COPYING me.
Jesus, it's bad enough that you turned up in Lime Street Station last weekend rubbing butter into your man boobs shouting 'I love apollo' at the top of your reedy, girly voice but all this STALKING HAS TO STOP.
--
BUT I'M YOUR NUMBER 1 FAN!!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking hell spam stop COPYING me.
Jesus, it's bad enough that you turned up in Lime Street Station last weekend rubbing butter into your man boobs shouting 'I love apollo' at the top of your reedy, girly voice but all this STALKING HAS TO STOP.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-09-13 08:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wha?
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-09-13 08:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-13 08:04:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:27:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Spam, it's 100% true. I swear on Fintans life.
If it was Pock, I would have just shrugged it off, but Mike?! """
he swore on fintan.
it must be true.
--
I thought that too.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-13 08:09:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's horrible. I am actually appalled.
Somebody inform his parents.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-13 08:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:27:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Spam, it's 100% true. I swear on Fintans life.
If it was Pock, I would have just shrugged it off, but Mike?! """
he swore on fintan.
it must be true.
I always had mike down as being weird.
or scottish.
same thing.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-09-13 08:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the hell ELSE are you supposed to shit at 3am?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What are you talking about Berty? It's about Mike, of course it deserves a high ranking.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Mikethescottish makes baby jesus cry emo tears.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um, didn't actually mean to -2 this post. I'm kind of glad though, it doesn't deserve high rating.
It's a lie, all of it. MiketheScottish wouldn't murder children.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do hope so Dave.
It should be an interesting explaination.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Belimobile, I'm hoping Mike can shed some light on the subject.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder if Mike will respond to this?
-Dave
Submitted by Belimobile (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Listen you here to me Sweetpea.... there is nothing suspect about Scottish people'a hygeine!!!!!
And I will not believe MiketheScottish is capable of such an act. I demand proof on the internet!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Funny and intruiging.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:28:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That wasn't Mike, it was me.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spam, it's 100% true. I swear on Fintans life.
If it was Pock, I would have just shrugged it off, but Mike?!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
did that really happen?
Are we talking about the same Mike here? Softly spoken, reserved Mike with an ambigous stain/moustache/magic-marker above his top lip?
I'd fucking LOVE to hear the ins and outs of this.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just found it odd.
It's 100% true.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I found this oddly hilarious.
-Dave
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-09-13 07:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahahahaha! This is too funny!
And too weird to be shennanigans.
+2