One point? One lousy point? COME ON! (1085 hits)
Category: SportsLabels: sports
Rating: 1.47 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom Sorrell - sorrelltr.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2005-09-13 08:52:22 EDT
So in my fantasy football league, my team (Stuart Scott's Glass Eye) managed a whopping ONE point this past weekend. It's a scoring only league, but still. The league record for least points scored up to this point was 3. We managed ONE on a Mike Nugent extra point.
This is a copy of what I posted on our league message board. Some of you might like it, others will not. I don't care. Here it is.
Wow. This is such an honor. I never expected it to happen.
First, I'd like to thank Chad Pennington for throwing an interception in the redzone and fumbling approximately 7,462 times in the Cheifs game, virtually ensuring that Mike Nugent would kick very few field goals or extra points. That shoulder looks great, champ.
Second, a big thanks goes out to Dante Culpepper, who threw for a whopping 233 yards and 3 interceptions while running for an astounding FOUR yards. Way to go Dante. You the man. To hell with Randy Moss.
Third, to Dom Capers: I really enjoyed that quarterback sneak you called for David Carr on 4th and goal from the two. Thank you so much for not giving the ball to Domanick Davis on that play.
Fourth, major props to Trent Dilfer, who apparently threw a pass to a circus clown that was standing on the sidelines while ignoring a wide open Antonio Bryant in the end zone. In keeping with tradition, Dilfer threw the ball 10 yards over the clown's head and hit a kid in a wheelchair.
On a lighter note, the "Glass Eye" bench managed to score 41 points. The starters, however, obviously took an enormous crap this weekend and never seemed to get off the toilet. Warrick Dunn looked like he might do something last night, but right before he scored he tripped over the toilet paper that was stuck to his left shoe and had to be taken into the locker room to be checked out. No word yet on his status.
Really quick, does anyone want to trade for Warrick Dunn, Javon Walker, and an ACL surgery to be named later? I'll throw in some cash....or perhaps my Jim Tressel bobblehead.
Finally, I have a question. Had Javon Walker's ACL ripped through his skin and landed on the field, then picked up the ball and ran across the goalline for a score, would we have received fantasy points?
-----
And finally, here's a copy of our league logo:
User Reviews
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2005-09-19 04:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha, Dante threw 3 interceptions to just Deltha O'neal, He threw 5 total, and i think he fumbled. GO BENGALS, Maybe, just maybe we dont suck anymore.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-09-14 19:27:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know how you feel.
god...i know how you feel.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-09-13 19:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
har har good going. you should call your self one man gang next.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-09-13 12:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Buahahahahahaahahahahahaaaaa....
You suck!!!
On a positive note, Shlongy went 3-1 this weekend at a deuce a game, with winners the Bills, Chiefs and Falcons last night, and the only loser being Washington and their high flying offence.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-09-13 12:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I beat my opponent 94-27 this week. I just got lucky two of my receivers scored two td's each and gained over 100 yards. GO FF WOOH!?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-13 12:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish I understood these posts. you should put a little fun email on the end for your non hockey loving fans.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2005-09-13 11:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Should have gone all Bengals. Kevin Walter in the hizzy.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-09-13 10:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1. Eat me.
2. Eat me raw.
Fucking new guy.
What the hell are you talking about lighten up? This post is me being me. I don't give a rat's ass that my fantasy team lost, but I wrote about it for the fun of it and because I have nothing else to post.
And OSU should have won the game about three different times.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-09-13 10:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Had Javon Walker's ACL ripped through his skin and landed on the field, then picked up the ball and ran across the goalline for a score, would we have received fantasy points?"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Pure Gold.
Submitted by Grande_Pelotas (user info) at 2005-09-13 10:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
2 things, really quick I know your busy.
1. Lighten up
2. Ohio State lost on Saturday, did you watch the game?
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-13 10:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was an accident. I apologize.
To make up for it have another +2 for this amazingly average post.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm, how about that? The restriction is off right now.
Yea, I got them...both of them. If you ever send me a forward again, I will cut your fucking head off.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't check it at work.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Or
IRISH
Damnit
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom,
Check your email.
I'm conducting a test to see if my shit is fucked up.
ps
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IRSH
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT SPARTANS
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Grande_Pelotas (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:13:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I'm 11
-----
Re...really? Have to ever heard of NAMBLA?
Do you want to?
Submitted by Grande_Pelotas (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I'm 11
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You think you're pissed about Pennington? Try being a Jets fan.
------------------
That being said, the deuce I'm about to drop nearly came out prematurely with that second to last line:
Finally, I have a question. Had Javon Walker's ACL ripped through his skin and landed on the field, then picked up the ball and ran across the goalline for a score, would we have received fantasy points?
BWWAHAHAHAHHAAAA
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome to the club.
I lost 2 weeks in fantasy baseball because of hits that were ruled errors.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't draft Pennington or Dilfer. I have Nugent (Jets' kicker) and Bryant (Browns' WR). If you read the post, that should be obvious....unless you're ten.
Are you ten?
Submitted by Grande_Pelotas (user info) at 2005-09-13 09:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mistake:
-Chad Penningfag... Why, when has he ever had 2 consecutive points weeks?
-Dilfer... Do I have to even ask?
Do you know something about S. Scott that I don't? Wasup wit his eye?
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-13 08:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dilfer threw the ball 10 yards over the clown's head and hit a kid in a wheelchair.
-------------
AAAAAAAaahahaaa.
Should have drafted more Colts.
GO HORSE