Uber rejoice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 (781 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.27 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brendan (View user info) at 2005-09-16 00:12:53 EDT
I have finally jumped through every hoop that has been thrown at me and have been admitted to the Marines. After 4 months of trying I have proven that I don't have a drinking/fighting/all other things illegal problem.
So now I am fit to die for my country. I'll be out this bitch on Sept.26th so don't forget to pray for my quick demise or safe return, I imagine the majority will be voting for slow and painful.
Here is a compilation of the chicks that I have vaginally invaded in recent weeks or at the very least jerked off to.
If for some reason you wish to contact me after I leave, you can drop your e-mail address below or just find the easiest chick you know, she'll know how to contact me.
User Reviews
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-09-26 14:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The picture of thr rere made me happy in the pants.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-09-23 22:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jarhead
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-16 18:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
try not to get your ass blown-up in Anbar province
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-09-16 10:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best of luck, Brendan.
pentameter.at.gmail.com
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-09-16 09:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck bro. I just got out of the Navy after six years.
Just remember: you're not legally bound by anything until the day you sign all your inprocessing shit at boot camp. The "hardasses" at MEPS pretty much lie about everything.
Also, when they say "nuts to butts", don't be embarassed, just do it.
Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
If you need anything like porn or candy while you're in, email me at easybeinggreen.at.gmail.com.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't remember if I like you or if you are mean. Please either come home safely or go fuck yourself.
Cindy x
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick someone's ass the first day or become someone's bitch.
Oh wait - Marines, not prison.
Congratulations! I'm so proud of you!
Keep in touch - emililly78.at.yahoo.com.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-09-16 07:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-09-16 01:47:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why I'm camping this post. You hate me, I hate you. But to add to what Zoidberg said, when you go in for gas poisoning training, don't be a macho asshole and brag about how long you're going to last.
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Gas poisoning training?! What the fuck?!!
This is what's wrong with the military.
We need global disarmament and dissolution of all armed forces, NOW, to avoid crap like this.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done man, and if you get really good, they might let you transfer to the British marines.
REALLY good though.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-09-16 05:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Goof going. Did you sign up at NASCAR?
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2005-09-16 05:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Basic is a piece of cake.
Keep your chin up and head down.
I can't say this enough......SPECIALIZE
Try recon.
And definately when you find yourself in the desert. Refer to this.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73385
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-09-16 04:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-09-16 00:19:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't get your ass shot off or blowed up, fuckface.
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Short and to the point.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-09-16 02:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOHOO BRENDAN!
Congrats, man.
I'll have to call you before you go, now that I'm in the US and it doesn't cost me an arm and half a leg.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-09-16 02:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Its not physical. The physical is actually pretty light in basic (aside from IT)
Its mental. But just remember that its their job to fuck with you, and outside of the depot they have wives and kids and friends who don't have to call them sir and talk in the third person and you'll get by fine.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-09-16 02:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I spent the time I've been limbo hitting the gym so at least the physical part won't be as bad.
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To be honest, I'm jealous as hell. But I couldn't do that now, at my age. I'd keel over dead.
I still have deformed heels from marching in the issued boots.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-09-16 01:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't call it hate, I just like breaking your balls. All advice is welcome because I am more nervous than a virgin on prom night.
I spent the time I've been limbo hitting the gym so at least the physical part won't be as bad.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-09-16 01:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why I'm camping this post. You hate me, I hate you. But to add to what Zoidberg said, when you go in for gas poisoning training, don't be a macho asshole and brag about how long you're going to last.
You will, no matter what, come out of there, if not puking, at the very least snotting and sobbing and blind and choking. Don't hold your breath for as long as you can. That'll send you to hell the minute you have to breath deep.
Breath as shallow as you can, keeping your lungs full for as long as you can. Eventually the gas will get you and you start flailing around, but if you can hold out as long as you can you can minimize the unpleasantness of it.
That was the worst part of the whole experience of boot camp for me. The rest was cake.
Good luck dude.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-09-16 01:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
serve is an iffy word, but the same branch you're going into
I had an asthma attack 7 weeks in and that was the end of that. Sucky part was it happened 7 weeks in. Not the 1st or 2nd week when I would have been eternally grateful to go home, but 7 weeks in when I was used to everything and waiting for my EGA.
But now I'm headed to law school, so part of what Ive wanted to do is still on track, just not the JAG part.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-09-16 01:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Zoid-Thanks for the advice. What branch did you serve in?
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-09-16 01:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a few points
They give you some bullshit about testing your DNA your last time at MEPS. DO NOT BELIEVE THEM.
Don't own up to any drug usage that won't already show up in a piss test.
"Sir yes sir" is a sir sandwich. Drill Instructor Staff Sgt Miller is NOT a sandwich.
"Aye sir" for an order. "Yes sir/No sir" to answer a question. Nothing else unless you absolutely can't avoid if. Learn and remember the difference.
And if you ever fuck up (you will, especially during your first week) when the drill instructor asks why you fucked up, do not explain. What will more then suffice (and save you a lot of grief) is "Because this recruit was irresponsible sir."
*sigh* I would kill to go back in.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-09-16 00:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm calling you out on the NSFW here.
Other than that, kudos.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-09-16 00:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best of luck to you. I support our troops as much as possible and have a +2 for Cuthbert
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-09-16 00:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How the fuck did you convince them you don't have a drinking problem?
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-09-16 00:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep ya shit hard man.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-09-16 00:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't get your ass shot off or blowed up, fuckface.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-16 00:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Elisha Cuthbert is yummy, but I have to question the picture of the 3 year old in the center of all that. That was a little wrong...
... But still funny
Submitted by TweakinIan (user info) at 2005-09-16 00:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice one... wait... what did you say again?
Submitted by Duke_Prometheus_III (user info) at 2005-09-16 00:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Kudos on the downie girl. She be hot, hot, hot!