Attn Thorpe and Circe. I will be visiting your country shortly and thus far here is what I know about Australia (1306 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DonovanMD (View user info) at 2005-09-16 06:17:25 EDT
I'll be spending a year living and working there. Arriving in Perth and spending a good chunk of time there, but likely doing a lot of travelling for 5-6 months, or until my money runs out. Then I'll probably get a job and stay a bit longer on a work visa.
Anyway, this isnt a blog and I know nobody gives a shit. So what I'm wondering is, where are some places I should visit when in Aussie land? Cool things, you know all that junk. Is the typical Australian easy? Yay or nay? And what SPF rating of suntan lotion will I need so my pasty white ass doesnt turn me nigger?
Anyway, now that I've added the mandatory content to go with my pictures and ensure I'll get a good rating (Go ahead, -2 me. You rebel you.), when I think of Australia, these things fly through my mind like those scenes you see in movies when the bad guys are trying to brainwash the good guy by holding their eyes open and forcing them to watch thousands of still images flash by.
Yeah, just like that. Did I miss anything stereotypically Australian?
User Reviews
Submitted by slapsticky (user info) at 2006-09-07 15:36:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-05-29 07:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-05-29 07:39:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-05-29 07:17:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 2 Australia
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fucking a, it's winter and I'm wearing a t-shirt. haha planet, eat our shorts.
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No, man, it's Spring, almost Summer.
You live on the wrong half of the world. :-O
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-05-29 07:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-05-29 07:17:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 2 Australia
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fucking a, it's winter and I'm wearing a t-shirt. haha planet, eat our shorts.
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-05-29 07:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 2 Australia
Submitted by comrad (user info) at 2006-03-08 06:51:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You could go see Wave Rock, thats in Hyden, not an exceedingly great distance from Perth. Oh, you could also check out the south west, and you down Pinjarra way, see the Valley of the giants, lots of huge tingle trees, and a cool tree top walk. Also, you forgot the sydney harbour brindge in your image collection.
And finally, the thing where you try to brain wash a person by holding their eyes open and showing them images is taken from Kubric's brilliant "A Clockwork Orange".
Submitted by kimberly (user info) at 2006-03-08 05:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
uhhh you forgot crocodiles.
Submitted by IchBinEinBerliner (user info) at 2006-03-08 05:37:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Genius.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-23 22:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beware of misinformation
Darwin is just fine
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-10-03 04:33:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oi! How'd I miss this?! I'm easily amused but I cracked up at the pictorial.
hahahaha
see?
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-09-17 14:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And Holly, you arent asian are you? My dog wont turn into szechuan beef while I'm gone?
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No, silly; quite the opposite. Your dog will be treated like the princess that she is. I'll take her to the groomer and have her nails painted to match mine. I'll put a beautiful scarf on her and take her for rides in my convertible. She'll dine on fine steaks and gourmet treats. I will only schedule play dates with the most respectable members of the Debutante Puppy Club.
When can I pick her up?
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-09-17 14:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you come down to Melbourne, ignore the weather report. Wear shorts under your pants and take a jumper with you.
Also, watch out for drop bears and hoop snakes.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-09-17 08:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Donovan - all the places I mentioned are around Perth. You can drive most of them in a few hours.
Except too far North. You don't want to go too far north. Trust me, please. Avoid Darwin. And Karratha. And, well, just that whole general area.
The local inhabitants are.... undesirable.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-09-17 08:48:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:05:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought AC/DC was British.
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Fuck you.
Come to Wollongong, let me steal your rims.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-09-17 07:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pffft! +2 for the Tuscan raider. I KNEW they were real!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-16 18:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-09-16 09:06:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Chicks in Australia liked me almost as much as chicks in asia did, you can clean up with the women folk there.
The girls I talked to said it wasn't because of the accent, but because the guys are either notorious dicks to or ignore the "sheilas".
Make one hum the start spangled banner with your balls in her mouth. If that is too offensive go with the Darth vader theme song.
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hahaha!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-16 16:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No more LD either Stevie, I'm finished there. So you can quit hanging out in the parking lot and waiting for me to go by again and hooting and hollering. I appreciate it, really I do, but its starting to get a bit creepy.
And Holly, you arent asian are you? My dog wont turn into szechuan beef while I'm gone?
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2005-09-16 15:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto-Paul Hogan +2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-09-16 14:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-09-16 14:38:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?!?! How am I supposed to stalk you if you are way over there??
I demand to be hidden in your luggage!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-09-16 14:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?!?! How am I supposed to stalk you if you are way over there??
I demand to be hidden in your luggage!
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-09-16 14:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you going to take your dog?
If not, I'll watch her for you.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-16 13:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you came I wouldnt need to get any tale!!
FINALLY! Someone to join the mile high club with me!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-09-16 13:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Take me with you???
I promise I won't get in the way of any tale you might get...I'll be getting my own, so, uh, yeah....
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-16 11:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-09-16 10:12:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Make us proud, don't act like an Ontarian.
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I'm no center of the universe prick. I'm an Alberta boy. I'll do Canada proud.
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Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-09-16 09:06:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Chicks in Australia liked me almost as much as chicks in asia did, you can clean up with the women folk there.
The girls I talked to said it wasn't because of the accent, but because the guys are either notorious dicks to or ignore the "sheilas".
Make one hum the start spangled banner with your balls in her mouth. If that is too offensive go with the Darth vader theme song.
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So keep the Canadian accent as thick as possible? What with all the aboots and ehs? And I doubt any Aussie girls know the Canadian national anthem. I'll just go with "Pop Goes the Weasel"
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-16 11:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:29:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yeah - Perth. The GOOD side of the country.
North a ways, on the south side of Geraldton, you have the absolute best unspoiled beaches.
South is the Margaret River Wine region, awesome surfing, Yallingup Caves and the karri forests.
East is the goldfields and the big empty places.
West... nothing but water.
It's simple, really, to decide where you want to go on long weekends etc:
North is hot and humid, with beaches.
East is hot and dry - no beaches. Red dirt.
South is cooler, damp and green - this is where we grow grapevines and huge old forests. (The surfing at Margaret River is to die for.)
I hope you have an awesome stay here.
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Thanks, I hope so too, I'm looking forward to it. My friend I'm staying with tells me there is plenty to see around Perth and the left coast anyhow, despite what all the Easterners tell you. And while I'd like to see the whole shibang, I will be going where my money lasts longest.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-09-16 11:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
noone in australia drinks fosters. its a shit beer. crownys are overrated - theyre vb with a fancy label.
reschs all the way - the old silver bullets.
perth is the crime capital of australia, so watch your shit.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-09-16 10:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Make us proud, don't act like an Ontarian.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-09-16 09:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
look at the arms on that chick with the croc hunter! she's one cock-diesel bitch.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-16 09:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU SAW WALES IN HERVEY BAY???
WTF????? WHY WAS IT NOT ATTACHED TO ENGLAND WHERE IT BELONGS???
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Whether or not it belongs there is a matter of opinion.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-09-16 09:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chicks in Australia liked me almost as much as chicks in asia did, you can clean up with the women folk there.
The girls I talked to said it wasn't because of the accent, but because the guys are either notorious dicks to or ignore the "sheilas".
Make one hum the start spangled banner with your balls in her mouth. If that is too offensive go with the Darth vader theme song.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DC, there aren't any poisonous spiders.
They've all been eaten by the snakes.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And the typical young aussie woman is gonna go apeshit for your accent.
And the strongest sunscreen you can find. And a hat. And a shirt. It's tempting to wander around all bronzed and bare chested, but that's how you get cancer. Seriously, I'm pretty sure we have custody of the hole in the ozone layer. Be careful.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you missed the many poisonous spiders, drop bears and a hat with corks on.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yeah - Perth. The GOOD side of the country.
North a ways, on the south side of Geraldton, you have the absolute best unspoiled beaches.
South is the Margaret River Wine region, awesome surfing, Yallingup Caves and the karri forests.
East is the goldfields and the big empty places.
West... nothing but water.
It's simple, really, to decide where you want to go on long weekends etc:
North is hot and humid, with beaches.
East is hot and dry - no beaches. Red dirt.
South is cooler, damp and green - this is where we grow grapevines and huge old forests. (The surfing at Margaret River is to die for.)
I hope you have an awesome stay here.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:05:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought AC/DC was British.
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well, thats what you get for thinking.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lokk, don't tell anyone I can't spell Apollo. I got a payrise yesterday for being an awesome teacher too. If this gets out they'll take my threshold away.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-09-16 08:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought AC/DC was British.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-16 07:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:21:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
You neglected to include a hat with corks on.
We went to Australia last August. The coolest thing we saw was the Wales in Hervey bay.
Surfers Paradise is worth a visit for tackiness, and if you want to tick things off do the sydney harbour brige walk and go to Ayer's rock.
Brisbane is nice too.
We will definitely return as I haven't seen any of Northern Australia yet. """
YOU SAW WALES IN HERVEY BAY???
WTF????? WHY WAS IT NOT ATTACHED TO ENGLAND WHERE IT BELONGS???
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-09-16 07:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
DROP BEARS!!!!
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-09-16 07:21:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:21:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
You neglected to include a hat with corks on.
We went to Australia last August. The coolest thing we saw was the Wales in Hervey bay.
Surfers Paradise is worth a visit for tackiness, and if you want to tick things off do the sydney harbour brige walk and go to Ayer's rock.
Brisbane is nice too.
We will definitely return as I haven't seen any of Northern Australia yet
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if you're there in summer go to sydney and brisbane.
If you're there in winter go to uluru, sydney and the great southern highway.
i love my country
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-09-16 07:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Most people who do the what you're doing (the working holiday thing) do a fairly similar route. What I would recommend is flying from Perth to Melbourne, spend some time there, meet up with some travellers & buy a cheap car or van and drive up the east coast.
It's a fucking long way, but there is more to see and do on the east coast than anywhere else. Must see places include Sydney (obviously), Byron Bay / Nimbin (hippy, weed capital of Oz), the Gold & Sunshine Coasts, go camping on Fraser Island, the Whitsundays / Barrier reef, & the Daintree rainforest.
If you have time, Kakadu National park in the central north is a must see, but it's even further and could be a bit expensive to get to.
If you expect to see wicked nightlife etc, with the exception of Sydney & Melbourne, forget it. Australia's biggest attraction is its natural beauty.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-16 07:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAAAND CUE an aussie saying 'no-one is australia drinks fosters...'
change the tune aussies!
no one in England wears a bowler hat either.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you want to get used to how great australia is listen to this before you go
http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/
any work you do will be taxed at 47%, orchards will pay you cash in hand but deduct the tax on the spot
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA!
Thorpe is more famous than Williamson!
Actually, I haven't seen much of 'Wilster' lately. Is he alright?
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Condom trees. That still makes me laugh. What a world we live in!
GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!!!!!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:26:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
comicbookguy already did this http://www.ubersite.com/m/43005
so shut the fuck up
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Oh well, tough shit. First I've seen of it. And even if I hadnt, I would have made this post anyway. Because I'm awesome like that.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Give me a break. I knew a bunch of other Australians would be up in arms because I didnt include them in the title. This isnt a shout out on some teen girls blog or a who's who of Uber Australia. I just thought up the first 2 names I knew were from down under.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
comicbookguy already did this http://www.ubersite.com/m/43005
so shut the fuck up
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:24:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bah, ive got a earlier user number , its MY friggin country, unless of course hair sees this...
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:23:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The only trouble is I'm landing in Perth and staying with a friend, so I have to go all the way to the other end of the country to see the typical tourist locations like Surfers Paradise, Sydney, Brisbane, etc. Not that I dont want too, just a ways away.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You neglected to include a hat with corks on.
We went to Australia last August. The coolest thing we saw was the Wales in Hervey bay.
Surfers Paradise is worth a visit for tackiness, and if you want to tick things off do the sydney harbour brige walk and go to Ayer's rock.
Brisbane is nice too.
We will definitely return as I haven't seen any of Northern Australia yet.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:21:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Less empty. I know that good english
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Or is it more full?
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-09-16 06:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My brain feels a bit fuller