Saving Grace (892 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Kaote
Rating: 1.87 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (View user info) at 2005-09-17 13:32:58 EDT
APROX. 15 YEARS AGO...
Thadin hover in the air, quickly manipulating the nether-technology that swirled around him. Rings of smoke, each band contained a thousand condensed souls, molded into data to power the infernal computer. The billowed up and down around him, each one coming to his call, his hand instinctually reaching into the right area, his fingers hitting all the keys as they appeared. It was a strange alchemy of science and magick here in the upper quads of Hell, but Thadin knew what the Maelificius wanted.
"Maps. I need maps," he said.
He called up a series of windows that portrayed maps of the lower four rings of Hell. They showed the coordinates of major players and minor locations of power. He tapped the Aethyr screens and zeroed in on his target. It was moving through the Gnash Territory, towards the fifth ring frontier zone. It was moving fast.
"Damn," he swore.
He punched in a counter coordinate of a location in the fifth ring. Sure enough, a warp gate lay just on the other side of the frontier zone. Target was attempting an escape. Trying to get earth bound. We couldn't have that.
"Program initiate communication. Contact 'Tower of Babel.' Coding is 666-Thadin - ramification. Contact now."
A window appeared of to his left, obscuring most of the smoke rings. A pentagram flashed once, twice then a form fizzled into sight. A young man with a goatee and blood red eyes peered back at Thadin. He mumbled something as he tapped on his side of the Aethyr window.
"What was that?"
"Said I have a bad connection. How are you coming with locating the Blackbird?"
"Have the target in visual conformation. Blackbird is moving through fourth ring into frontier zone. Believe to be heading towards warp gate."
"Fuck a whole big bag of that! Papa Satan will not be happy there. I'm sending in a Horde to dispatch. Have the..."
"Negative. Blackbird is Omega Class. Send in only type A demons, repeat type a demons only. Target can repel anything else."
"Shit man! Who are we talking about here? Not even Hitler is Omega Class. Is this a rogue? Should I get round up an actually Fallen One? Don't leave me in the dark here, Thadin! If this is going to compromise my..."
"Calm yourself, Gareth. I can't tell you who this is, but I can say the level of security around the target is maximum. Plus, they aren't a critical risk to security. Papa just doesn't want the target anywhere near one of the gates. Just send a platoon of type A's and if possible, contact Lilith."
"Lilith! Are you sure about that? I don't really want to bother the queen with some..."
"The queen will want to know. She's in the loop on this one. just tell her that target Blackbird is being acquired. I'm personally going down there."
"Shit, dude! Good luck, and be careful."
"Out."
Thadin collapsed the smoke rings and stepped out from around them. He didn't bother with a shirt, but drew his crimson robes on and placed his feet into thick soled sandals. He called the five counter points of contention and formed a portal to the frontier zone. He felt the flames tickle his skin as he walked through.
The heat dissipated and he found himself in the desert. It was a lonely stretch of void that lay between the levels of Hell. Barren sand and stone reaching for as far as the eye could see, and once you stepped into it, you could never escape. Many a soul had wandered out here only to never be seen again. A special agony dreamed up centuries ago. You had to have a spark of the infernal to get yourself out, and Blackbird had more than a spark.
Thadin crested over a dune and saw his target. Moving fast, indeed. Riding on the back of land based baby dragon. Yeah, that would do it. Eventually, the handlers would learn that creatures like this did not make good presents. It always lead to escape attempts. Thadin channeled a fury of hellfire and let it explode directly in front of the speeding beast. It let out a squeal, rising up in the air and tossing its rider. The target landed hard but was up quickly. Not fast enough, however, for the dragon was already off in the other direction. Blackbird was cursing up a storm by the time Thadin had come upon her.
"Princess Grace, this is your third escape attempt this month. Are you trying to drive your parents more insane than they already are?"
The ten year old spun around and threw up her hands. Pure concentrated evil sparkled from her fingertips, but it bounced harmlessly off him.
"Oh, Thadin. It's only you again," sighed the princess.
"Had I been a lower class demon, you could have done some real damage. You know you can't keep running off like this. What's gotten in to you?"
The ten year old future ruler of Hell took off her crown and swept back her long black hair. Scrunching up her face, she looked at him. "You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"I'm bored. Capital B - bored. Bored with everything, my life, with Hell, with all the stupid demons, with EVERYTHING! I keep hearing about earth and how goofy mortals are and I just wanna see for myself. I just wanna play with some of them for a change."
"Your idea of play usually ends in bloodshed."
"So?"
"So, there are certain rules that we must abide by. Your Father doesn't shed the blood of the mortals, he has to wait to spill their ethereal blood here in Hell. You've played with the damned, so how..."
A pentagram of flame criss crossed against the side of the sand dune and out came a group of Fallen Ones, actual fallen angels, escorted by Lilith, the queen of Hell and mother to Grace. Thadin bowed deeply, both out of respect, and to mask the smile that played at the corners of his mouth. The exchange between these two should be priceless.
"Grace," growled Lilith.
"Mom," growled Grace right back.
"This doesn't appear to be the castle grounds, does it young lady?"
"You don't appear drunk, do you Mom?"
The Fallen almost fell over. This was too much for them. Thadin remained passive and watched as the Queen grimaced and nodded her head.
"Yes, I was enjoying some virgin blood when you slipped out, as adults do some times. One point for you. And you so desperately want to be a big girl, don't you? You know, we could arrange it with the necromancers to keep you in that ten year old body for eternity."
"One point for you, mother. Because a child would be so very scary on the throne. Or maybe you're just worried I'll be prettier and those wrinkles will get deeper."
"Two points for you, little one," growled Lilith.
"Mom, this is stupid! I don't wanna fight with you, I just wanna go to earth! C'mon, just the two of us, we don't have 'ta tell dad. Girls night out!"
Lilith's expression soften. "You are your father's daughter. I'm sorry Grace, but your Dad says you're still too young. But I'll tell you a secret... it's not you he's worried about. It's earth. I think he's worried about what you would do to it. Plus he wants to be there when you unleash havoc on it, and he's far too busy to get away right now. I promise, darling, soon."
"Really, Mom, really?"
"I promise, honey blood, soon."
Mother and child hugged, and the Fallen looked a little relieved that they didn't have to do battle with the heiress of the Satanic Throne. Everyone was moving back through the portal when Grace turned to Lilith.
"Can Thadin come back to the palace with us? He's not a jerk to me."
"Are you free Thadin?" asked Lilith winking.
"Anything for Princess Grace," responded Thadin, stepping through the portal.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-26 13:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-10-01 09:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-09-28 11:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
C'est très interesant.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-09-21 05:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You don't appear drunk, do you Mom?"
Awesome.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-09-20 18:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-09-19 13:16:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm starting to rethink my initial assessment of Hutch being an alter.
Who knows, only time.
Despite what people think about the language of the ?Demons? I like the way you
add a human characteristic to them by having them use foul, everyday language.
It makes you feel a kinship with the charactors.
I'll be honest with you, I could have used more about the environment, I love details
on things like that, it makes you feel like you are there. Just my humble opinion of course.
Submitted by johnhutch (user info) at 2005-09-19 11:29:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not sure what to make of this. It definitely caught my interest, but there's somethign about it that's off-putting. As I can't exactly put my finger on what or why, I suppose I'll just give you a +2 and wait to see how this develops.
I suppose to should go back and read your old stuff and find out who this Ed guy is, huh?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-09-19 11:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-09-19 10:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes indeed.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-19 10:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, Lady Plural - I've read it! Damn Queen tape!!!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-09-19 08:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am absolutely using the "fuck a big bag of that" line, but I agree that it seemed a bit out of character. Incidentally, the "The Fallen almost fell over." bit made me gigglesnort.
I assume that you've read 'Good Omens', by Terry Pratchet (I think I misspelled that, but I can't be arsed to get up and actually check the book) and Neil Gaimen (ditto), right?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-09-19 07:41:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-19 03:12:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
... just about Edward Sand's age. Hmmm?
*****************
OMG ED IS GOING TO BANG THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER!!
Yeesh, that's one dad you don't want to piss off.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-19 03:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Benny - Those things will be adressed eventually, but not for quite a while. Grace has been living her childhood in Hell, where time does not so much exist in the same way. I gave the APROX. 15 YEARS AGO at the beginning of the story just to reference the fact that this is not the present. This installment was more about giving a little background to the character of Grace. Because, you see, if she was 10 around 15 years ago, that would make her about 25 now...
... just about Edward Sand's age. Hmmm?
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2005-09-19 02:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have you bookmarked and read (and enjoy) almost everything you have posted. In my mind your typos are petty, but they are a distraction that is easily avoided before you post to a forum of thousands. Please keep posting!
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-09-19 02:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A couple of questions came to mind while I was reading this. How does Grace expect to inherit the throne when both her parents are immortal? Another question is why have Satan & Lilith only just had a child now? Maybe the answers to both of these questions are related to each other since it is possible that Satan & Lilith chose to have a child because they wanted to retire (but retire to what?).
If the answers to these questions are going to be in upcoming parts then I can wait for them.
Very well written instalment by the way (discounting the obvious typos).
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2005-09-18 22:44:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sry, that should have been a +2
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2005-09-18 22:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love all your posts, including the Diary of a Kaote series. Stay classy.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-09-18 12:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll be interested to read what follows.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-18 05:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
witha big booyah!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-09-18 02:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaos King- glad to hear it.
thecaes- hey babes. how are ya?
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-09-17 22:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i can tell there is going to be a great story in this
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-17 22:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Munkeypants, there is a LOT more to this...
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-09-17 17:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MISS MUNKEY OF THE PANTS!!
Haven't seen you in a while.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-09-17 17:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
perhaps there can be more to this story?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-09-17 14:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm, I re-read it quickly so I could offer more comments. I enjoyed the exchange between Grace and Lilith, but did NOT enjoy the exchange between Gareth and Thadin. I just didn't like the dialogue there...I can't imagine that anyone in a position that is seemingly as high as Gareth would say things like "Fuck a big bag of that," or, "Shit dude." I understand what you're trying to do, but it sometimes feels like you're trying too hard to shake off the reader's expectations.
Though for the record, I do like the phrase "Fuck a big bag of that" and plan to use it in the future.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-09-17 14:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice set up. Couple of typos.