ANNOUNCING: The Newest Member Of The Ubersite Family (1716 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 1.74 on 92 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by K@i (View user info) at 2005-09-18 09:47:41 EDT
LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!
Please allow me to introduce you to my daughter Holly, born 3:47AM, Sept. 18th 2005. Less than an hour old & already trying to twist dad's arm...
I'll be sure to sign her up for her own account as soon as she learns enough swear words to keep up with the rest of you.
Cheers!
User Reviews
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-27 23:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:45:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. Look in those eyes and tell me there's no God.
Perhaps now that you are a father, you'll stop being such a cunt.
-
It makes it easiest to say that. I mean, hwo can there be a power higher than that?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-27 23:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tehehe
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-09-27 22:54:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats to you and your breeder
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-26 06:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
has anyone said they'd do her up the pooper yet?
if not consider it said.
If so, erm, nice one.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-09-21 22:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-09-21 22:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Pull my finger" ... a classic!
(That's a cute littl'un you got there, too.)
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-09-21 18:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by alex.lifeson (user info) at 2005-09-21 15:38:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:45:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. Look in those eyes and tell me there's no God.
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There's no god.
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To be fair, not only are the eyes closed, but they look like those of the dreaded Bug Monster (from the Blue Lagoon).
I think newborn children are ugly. And I'm a connosieur in that department.
Submitted by alex.lifeson (user info) at 2005-09-21 15:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:45:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. Look in those eyes and tell me there's no God.
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There's no god.
Submitted by BigDaddyV2.0 (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats!!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-09-20 18:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
w00t!!!
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-09-20 11:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post should be titled "Baby's first camwhore"
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2005-09-20 09:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Congratulations genes.
Submitted by tinkonthebrink (user info) at 2005-09-20 09:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-09-19 22:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haaahhaahaha
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-09-19 20:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She's adorable. Congratulations!
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-19 15:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratualations, if she has only half of the expereinces in life that you've got, I would say she was successful.
Submitted by FireProofPanties (user info) at 2005-09-19 14:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats!!
Your baby was born on my 19th birthday!!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-09-19 14:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, I meant: Congrats Kai!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-09-19 14:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Congrats Kai!
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-09-19 11:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-09-18 13:06:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Babies have no kneecaps until they're around 2 years old.
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Yeah, it's a cruel and uncaring God which makes discipline/punishment impossible for the first 2 years.
I guess whenever she's bad, I'll just have to take it out on her mother & big sister.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-09-19 10:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice hat NOOB!!!
Congrats!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-09-19 09:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful baby girl.
Congratulations.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-09-19 09:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Has your sister recovered from the labor yet?
I couldn't resist.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-09-19 09:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow she is less than a week old and she has already had her first camwhore.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-09-19 07:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awww, congrats!
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-09-19 07:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NAWWWWW LOOK AT THE BABYYYYYYYY!
Gorgeous, Kai. You helped make that you did....
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-19 07:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Remember Kai, all your ass are belong to baby daughter now. This is it for you, you've transcended the parties and ridiculous shenanigans that your friends would get you involved in. You're are a daddy, the daddy to that little girl. So look forward to a future of ups, downs and furious anal sex with your wife. That's living the dream.
Submitted by Chazzy (user info) at 2005-09-19 06:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-09-18 13:06:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Babies have no kneecaps until they're around 2 years old.
All of you who hate people touching their knees will love thinking about that.
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Babies do have kneecaps, they are formed at around 4 months, (in the womb) although they do not show up on x-rays usually until after the birth, when the cartilage 'hardens'.
Aaaaaaanyhoo... Awwwww... muchly cutie baby!!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-19 06:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Being your child, I expect the swearing and cursing will come about in just a few short months...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-09-19 06:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-09-19 06:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats Kai,
I'm surprised Mr Jackson wasn't first in with the "I'd hit it..." though
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-09-19 04:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"
Yeah, I'd do her too...
Congratulations Daddy.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-19 04:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very cute little one...
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-09-18 23:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is Sphagnum the mother?
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-09-18 23:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who's the father?
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-09-18 19:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't be arsed looking through the comments... has anyone said anything disgusting like "I'd hit that" yet?
It's only a matter of time.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-09-18 18:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah yes! many sleepless nights. Many dirty nappies to change. Many annoying visits from family and freinds. Your house smelling like a toilet for many months. Packing so much crap for a day out you wonder if staying home might be a better option. Many trips to the shops for formula and milk. no social life. Damn inlaws visiting constantly. Books entitled "care for your nipples while breastfeeding" on the coffee table.
Nothing like having children.
Congrats Kai
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-09-18 18:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you were gay until now.
(Still not convinced)
P.S. Congrats.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-09-18 16:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LOOK WHAT I CAN DO! = Stuart from Mad TV.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-09-18 16:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just woke up....
OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Phate (user info) at 2005-09-18 16:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hit it
in the pooper
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-09-18 16:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kungratz on duh chilluns.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-09-18 16:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ew gross
another dripping fetus
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-09-18 15:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mazel tov
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-09-18 15:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you mean by "look what I can do?"
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-09-18 15:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful baby, Kai. I don't remember the quote exactly but A. Hitler said something like, "give me a child for the first 6 years of his/her life, then you can have her back; She will always be faithful to me." Sounds like demented ramblings from a man with a head full of bad wiring... however, you might want to keep an eye on your girl for that first six years. Congratulations :-)
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-09-18 14:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats!
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-09-18 14:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The world needs you little one, hurry up and save us.
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-09-18 14:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She's lovely - congratulations.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-09-18 14:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats.
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-09-18 14:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Less than an hour old and you're already posting? You've got more fortitude than I gave you credit for.
Congrats! Beautiful child.
"I'll be sure to sign her up for her own account as soon as she learns enough swear words to keep up with the rest of you."
Make sure you go with the "F" word first. It seems to come easy and the children seem to like it.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-09-18 13:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yayyyyyy Kai....I am so happy for you and your family.
She is so beautiful.
<BIG HUGS>
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-09-18 13:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's wonderful, it's magical, oh boy, here comes another mouth to feed!
Congrats k@i!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-18 13:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin' n00bs
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-09-18 13:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Babies have no kneecaps until they're around 2 years old.
All of you who hate people touching their knees will love thinking about that.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-09-18 12:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Luck.
I see lots of sleep deprivation in your near future.
-Dave
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-09-18 12:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, he's already a father domenad. now he's one man in a house with three women, so he'll be even more henpecked and bitter.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-09-18 12:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"
--
I don't know you, nor have I read any of your posts!
But that was funny and your daughter is bosh. Congratulations.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgiven. +2 cheers to Kai's new addition!
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And once more, well done, Kai, fucking beautiful...
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:44:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:32:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:22:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Please ignore this fucktard, gratuitous hilarity implied, he/she is a dropfuck and your daughter is something, well done.
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<sigh> Newbies. No knowledge of history or tradition.
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plus 2 now, cumbreath? Nice touch, very holier than thou...
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If you read the post JUST BELOW THAT ONE, Mister, Dumbass is it? Well Mr. Dumbass, if you looked at the post just below that one, you'll see it is also mine, and that I +2'd him in that comment and said how beautiful his daughter was.
Yet another idiot who can't read on a site for writers. Wonderful.
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Bad form, i apologise. Sorry, you win.. here's to Kai's daughter....
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:32:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:22:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Please ignore this fucktard, gratuitous hilarity implied, he/she is a dropfuck and your daughter is something, well done.
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<sigh> Newbies. No knowledge of history or tradition.
------------------------------------------
plus 2 now, cumbreath? Nice touch, very holier than thou...
--------------------
If you read the post JUST BELOW THAT ONE, Mister, Dumbass is it? Well Mr. Dumbass, if you looked at the post just below that one, you'll see it is also mine, and that I +2'd him in that comment and said how beautiful his daughter was.
Yet another idiot who can't read on a site for writers. Wonderful.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:32:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:22:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Please ignore this fucktard, gratuitous hilarity implied, he/she is a dropfuck and your daughter is something, well done.
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<sigh> Newbies. No knowledge of history or tradition.
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plus 2 now, cumbreath? Nice touch, very holier than thou...
--------------------------------
HEY NOOB SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!1
The pooper joke is expected, you being a retarded asshole was just an added bonus.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
she's adorable...congrats!
but Holly is a whore's name...change it.
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:22:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Please ignore this fucktard, gratuitous hilarity implied, he/she is a dropfuck and your daughter is something, well done.
--------------
<sigh> Newbies. No knowledge of history or tradition.
------------------------------------------
plus 2 now, cumbreath? Nice touch, very holier than thou...
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I changed my mind when I took a better look at the picture.
Have fun changing dipies.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:22:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Please ignore this fucktard, gratuitous hilarity implied, he/she is a dropfuck and your daughter is something, well done.
--------------
<sigh> Newbies. No knowledge of history or tradition.
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Congrats and all...
but why should I give a shit?
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and I have to do this before someone else does. Ahem.....
Please ignore this fucktard, gratuitous hilarity implied, he/she is a dropfuck and your daughter is something, well done.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:46:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and I have to do this before someone else does. Ahem.....
I'd do her...
In the pooper.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She's utterly adorable. Congratulations.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congratulations!
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2005-09-18 11:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations!
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck let that past the second trimester?
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and I have to do this before someone else does. Ahem.....
I'd do her...
In the pooper.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. Look in those eyes and tell me there's no God.
Perhaps now that you are a father, you'll stop being such a cunt.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate being nice.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats, Kai. She's beautiful.
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
beautiful.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay g'nite you guys, Mom beat the shit out of me in the delivery room, so I'm going to sleep now (7:10am).
Thanks for the kind words (for a change).
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations!
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
then why does the other one have curly hair???
different mummies!!!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sure you just didnt buy her here?: http://www.shop.com/op/aprod-p24356008?sourceid=3
I was waiting on an appointment and came across these "so real" dolls in a magazine... is that fucking weird or what?? Who would want a doll that lifelike?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't even know you were pregnant.
Who's the daddy?
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:02:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
some babies are ugly.
yours isn't. actually its really cute.
------------------------------------
Mom is an asian supermodel
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holly Valentina, 2nd kid. Looks like her big (4yo) sister ---> http://www.ubersite.com/m/55216
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
some babies are ugly.
yours isn't. actually its really cute.
lucky.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome!
name? is this your first child?
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-09-18 10:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-09-18 09:58:49 (#)
Ranking: -1
I hate babies.
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I laughed!
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-09-18 09:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I hate babies.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-09-18 09:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh! She's so gorgeous!
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-09-18 09:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*cue people for awws and other weird noises*
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-09-18 09:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quotes & Stories - Poetry?
Hahaha
Cute baby, congrats!