Prologue (562 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.8 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by indigogecko (View user info) at 2005-09-18 18:03:40 EDT
The City represents to me all that is wrong in the world, yet it was all I ever knew of the world. By day, fifteen million souls are crushed into oblivion by the cube grids of a hundred corporations. The blocks tower over the City, just short of cutting through the dense and choking smog that never lifts. And by night, the lowest levels open up in a cacophony of neon and bass, and the zombies fresh from the towers crawl into the gutters to find solace in bottles, narcotics and sex. And somehow, they hope one day to find a way out. That used to be me.
I met Jake on a Tuesday. At four, I was routing meaningless data through a numbered terminal in a coded box on the seventh floor of one of those soulless corporations. I left at five, and by six I was half way through my third Headslammer cocktail with the drugs just kicking in, my eyes scanning the joint for a descent lay.
He was well hung, cheap and easy on the eyes, and as nameless as I was. That alone should have warned me, but I was raring to go, and he rose to the task soon enough. My joint of choice, the club known as "Capital X", didn't bother with back rooms. Anyone sober enough to care either didn't belong there, or drank themselves to a change of opinion.
By the time I finished with him I'd finished my drink as well, and he bought me my next one with half the credits I'd just given him. Again, you'd think I'd have twigged. He placed the two garish pink-and-green layered drinks on the table and took a seat opposite me. After a moment of quiet appraisal, he spoke.
"You're a looker, you know, for a zombie. You'd make more creds down here."
He took a long smooth suck at the suggestively-shaped straw and tried to meet my eyes. I looked away.
"I'm not into that."
"You'll buy but you won't ply? I used to think that way."
"You got a name?"
"Jake."
"Mel."
We drank in silence, until the sounds of dregs in the straws broke our reveries. We both smiled.
"Wanna go again, Mel?" He winked as he said it.
"Doesn't it break the rules if I know your name?"
"On the house then. In fact," he looked around conspiratorially, "let's lose the orgy. I got a box in T-block on 98th."
We did, and that was Jake.
User Reviews
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2005-09-19 15:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok a few points, since people asked.
creds and other cliches of the genre -
Firstly it makes the city placeless. It could be anywhere in the world, even any planet: by naming the currency it places the city. Also suggests a "small world" where there's probably nothing as trivial as foreign currency to worry about.
Secondly this is the fist time I've tried to write anything remotely futuristic that wasn't directly sci-fi, and I've only read a couple of books in the genre - most people write what they know. I'm trying something new, so bear with me on the cliches ok? thanks.
The point about me hating big cities - yes. I've lived in London most of my life, apart from 4 years of early childhood spent in Tokyo. My mother's family live in Washington DC. I moved out to a small city (practically a town) for University, first time I've lived outside a major metropolis, and having hated everything about living where I did, I love it here.
And no I don't plan to wreck the cities for the people who seem to enjoy living there. I'm not a violent person, and chances are for many of them I know people living there. I'm sure that was meant as a joke, but 9/11 was rather a shake-up for my family, and a close family friend lost a good friend - who was a passenger on one of the planes. So, can we just not go there? k? cool thanks. :)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-09-19 13:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-19 06:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I read this my first impression was that you didn't like big cities, which in turn lead me to think about the terrorists that blew up the World Trade Center on 11/09/01 (naturally), which leads me to believe that you are a member of the rebel alliance and a traitor.
They'll find you eventually, they'll drag you away to an island prison and you won't be able to escape through the courts, your freinds on the outside won't be able to save you either.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2005-09-19 04:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like.
Submitted by johnhutch (user info) at 2005-09-19 02:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really good stuff man. Or woman. Pardon.
"or drank themselves to a change of opinion." -- love that.
If there's anything I'd hope for, it's that you'd avoid some of the genre's cliched phrases and ideas. I can't help but wince at "soulless corporations." It's a redundant phrase to begin with. Also: creds. Why does every future/cyberpunk/sci fi novel have to change the currency? I dunno, forgive me for my quibbles.
Looking forward to more.
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-09-18 19:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Odd but kinda good too
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-09-18 19:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Rope (user info) at 2005-09-18 18:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd like to read more of this.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-09-18 18:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Intriguing.
Needs more tachyons.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-18 18:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2005-09-18 18:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
More please :)