If You're Ever On Saturn... (791 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: planetseries
Rating: 1.44 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Steve's House of Pancakes and Ions (View user info) at 2005-09-20 03:17:33 EDT
You wake up. I mean, you finally wake up. Days have blown by like the dust off the top of the grimy television. Weeks and months have been swept away by the alien maid with her funny shaped arms that have the texture of peanut shells. You finally wake up and look around and think 'What the fuck just happened here?'
That tiny motel on Saturn. You came here for a weekend. You never meant to stay just the weekend. The calendar is yellowed against the wall. You don't know how long you've been here and you don't care. You wanted to lock the rest of the world out and you succeeded.
But instead of locking the world out, you were locking yourself in.
You might have slept. Or you might have stretched out on the hard mattress and watched the ceiling flake. The water spot got bigger. The funny banging noises in the walls got worse, then better and then worse again. The carpet was still rough on your toes and the cheap feathers poking out from the pillow still scratch your head like bony little fingers.
But you've finally stirred out from under the covers.
Things aren't the way you left them.
That's the funny thing about trying to stop the world. You throw down your anchor. You expect you'll be strong enough to stop it, like you're important or some other delusion they build up in your head in elementary school. Just because you yank yourself out of the game doesn't mean the dealer stops shuffling. Just because you know a metaphor doesn't necessarily mean it will make sense.
They aren't safe. They never were.
That bubble you built up around them in your head was never there.
You've lost it all now, whatever it was. The family you always kept in the back of your mind have all fallen away, drifting off while you were waiting for the bus or out buying milk. While you were waiting for something more, they slipped away.
You came to Saturn to rest, with visions of returning home.
But instead you just keep running. Just a few more planets left, and then maybe you'll go home to pick up the pieces. Make some changes. Paint a picture or something. Put their stuff in the attic and then burn the house down. They can't be gone if you don't believe it.
The maid comes through and throws the soda cans into the trash with the rest of the garbage. You'd had them lined up on the top of the counter and she just shoves them into her scummy cart with her peanut arms. She nods her alien head and grunts like a hungry hippopotamus, even though you're pretty sure you don't know what hippopotami sound like. No one cares here. The rings on Saturn are made out of empty milk cartons and beer cans.
If you're ever on Saturn, remember to recycle. No one else bothers to.
Pluto: http://www.ubersite.com/m/73401
Mercury: http://www.ubersite.com/m/72428
Neptune: http://www.ubersite.com/m/71494
Mars: http://www.ubersite.com/m/70839
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-24 02:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Does recycling taste good?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-09-22 22:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I was absent for this one. Wonderful, as always!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-09-20 08:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I like it.
And your visible name is cool.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-20 07:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-20 04:54:04 (#)
Ranking: 1
The rings on Saturn are made out of empty milk cartons and beer cans.
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That's a hell of a line and I want you to know that someday, somehow, I'm going to rip it off.
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that line is getting ripped by me later this week
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-20 05:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this! yay
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-20 04:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The rings on Saturn are made out of empty milk cartons and beer cans.
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That's a hell of a line and I want you to know that someday, somehow, I'm going to rip it off.
Submitted by Bakuz (user info) at 2005-09-20 03:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love you, not this post though..
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-09-20 03:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I blame the hamster for distracting me. That asshole was running into the closet door all fucking night. I'm going to drown that little fucker.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-09-20 03:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok, so this is gonna end up with 1.8+, but honestly, it doesnt really deserve more than a 1, tops.
the description, aside from the rings of saturn, wasn't really that good - the 'dust of top of grimy tv' line was too long and to me at least just sounds a bit silly. the 'you did this' 'you did that' short sentences have this cliche feel about them that didnt sit well with me personally. i may be wrong, but thats just what cme to me as i was reading.
+0 worth reading, i guess. though, to be honest, steve is one of the few i regularly click on and i dont think has causd me to regret it ever. i cant say that about many, especially myself.
Submitted by DBecs (user info) at 2005-09-20 03:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I drive a Saturn!