Fantasy Football Violence. the teams and the rules. (1583 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.58 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff <barnymeinhoff.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-20 06:30:43 EDT
Fantasy Football Violence. (English Soccer)
Well, after the office was inundated with literally eights of people eager to sign up for a bit of mither I have decided to carry on with the action regardless of public opinion and launch a scaled down version of the tournament.
First of all I apologise to anyone on the list below who didn't actually want to be involved and was just passing through but as you don't actually have to do anything then tough titty's.
As no one was really that interested I have been able to give a preferred team where one was specified. The rest have been chosen based on how easy it makes my life.
Teams are as follows.
Technoboy will be running with Arsenal's Gooners.
C1ndy will be knocking back Stella's and representing with Portsmouth's 657 crew.
The 1 ark tru Barnymeinhoff will be out scalping with West Hams ICF.
Berty will be kitted out in Stone Island and doing coke in the bogs of the Anchor with the rest of Birmingham's Zulu army.
MBstateside will be bare chested and bloody with Newcastle's Gremlins
Sassmaster has just stuck a stanley knife in his kickers and is off out with Bolton's MCB Crew.
Towed88 has just shoplifted a ball hammer for the weekend when he is out with Man City's Main Line Service Crew.
Last but not least Ajanssen will be kicking off with the rest of the Huyton Baddies from Liverpool.
I predict a riot!
The rules.
Points will be allocated to each Firm in accordance with their football teams results.
1 point for a clean sheet.
2 points for a yellow card
3 points for a sending off (5 if it was from a second yellow card.)
If there is any fan violence reported at the ground the aggressive teams supporters will get you a whopping ten points (fingers crossed!)
There will be a point deducted for the firm who's team produces a man of the match.
That's pretty much it. I will post the results of the matches and a summery of the fights after the games have been played on Saturday.
The fights.
Sat 24th Sep 2005.
Birmingham V Liverpool
Newcastle V Man City
West Ham V Arsenal
Portsmouth V Bolton
Remember you do not have to do a thing except get turned on by violence.
User Reviews
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-24 10:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I SO would've played this.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-09-26 11:26:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha!
I'm off to buy a crate of the broon!
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-09-25 19:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
for your brilliant "french military victories" post
Submitted by flarn-dorfar (user info) at 2005-09-22 12:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I found this so entertaining - and all those English teams. Such a contrast from all the tedious American culture on this site.
Submitted by Technoboy (user info) at 2005-09-20 13:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-20 10:09:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
not as funny as getting beat by the North Irish......laughed till I shat.
---------
You laughed, I lost a tenner to a paddy in the pub where I work. Funny old world....
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-20 10:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not as funny as getting beat by the North Irish......laughed till I shat.
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-20 09:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
English football is bollocks, all fucking razz-a-matazz kick-and-chase malarky where a shot on goal is typically a Teddy Haring-ham or Super Al' goal-poach.
That aside, it's not your fault, and even though the ball never really crossed the line in '66, you just keep believing it, and block out how you lay down mazaire and let Brasil walk all over you in the last World Cup... hehehe 'taht' was teh funny...
no offence, Barny, I like you... but wasn't it funny when the Aussies beat you 3-1?
+2, I'm sure you're cute..
Submitted by towed88 (user info) at 2005-09-20 09:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MAN CITY!
Ride or Die!
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-09-20 09:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be up for this. I'd have to go for Blackburn
But I think it'd be higher scoring if Championship squads were somehow included.
Millwall :)
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-20 09:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats the fuckin spirit you middlands monkey!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-09-20 09:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Owight fookers! ZULU ARMY FOREVAAAAAAAAA!!!11
SHIIIIIIT ON THA VILLAAAAAAA!
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-20 09:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no one went for the game full stop.
all will become clear after saturday and if its liked we can always do another.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-09-20 08:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No-one's gone for Blackburn?
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2005-09-20 07:32:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awww fek, i would have had a go at this, didn't see your other post in time.
Your fault fuck face.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-09-20 07:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You know what I like... Scotch and VIOLENCE, lots of violence.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-20 07:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I predict a riot, I predict a riot.
Submitted by Richard_Whitely (user info) at 2005-09-20 07:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty if you aren't bothered about it then can i take your place?
Submitted by Richard_Whitely (user info) at 2005-09-20 07:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA IT WOULD BE SILVERWARE
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-20 07:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
food for thought......A free copy of the football factory to any players who score a fatality
Submitted by Richard_Whitely (user info) at 2005-09-20 06:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What about if your supporters actually kill someone? Like liverpool at heysel?
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-20 06:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually that does make more sense....fuck it.
Submitted by Richard_Whitely (user info) at 2005-09-20 06:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What a fucking marvellous idea. I would make 1 ammendment though, the points scheme gives extra points for getting a second yellow. In my opinion, a straight red should warrant the higher score.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-20 06:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like I said, you dont have to do a thing.
Oh I forgot.
+2's for life for the winner ( unless its me.)
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-20 06:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why the hell am I in this? Whilst I think that this is a brilliant idea (much kudos to you Barny) I care little about football and will simply ruin the whole thing by my mere prescence.
I know this because I was the fantasy football manager for out house back in school, I did nothing. I don't think I even bothered to send off the team registration forms.