All My Relationships Start with Writing #2 - Shopkeeper's Daughter (943 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.52 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <ejryuu.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-21 13:15:59 EDT
All of my relationships have started with writing.
By the time I'd reached eigth grade, I felt I'd wisened up a little. Kissing wasn't such a big deal, and second base was now a gropable option not reserved for little skanks and their boyfriends who are starting to discover the wonders of drugs and alcohol. Of course I was still a geek, hanging out with the nerdy crowd, but still fighting tooth and nail to not fully embrace the nerdery. Pretty sure it didn't work because nobody else liked me. It starts to dawn on me that just because I whoop ass at Megaman X and can name every esper in Final Fantasy 3 (no but seriously, I can't now and I couldn't then), didn't qualify me for a chance at a girlfriend. The highschool world is cruel that way.
It's a gorgeous October day in this small Minnesotan town. The redundancy of school has almost set in completely, but there's a glimmer of hope as subdued as the last of the sun's rays that wave their goodbyes by the time we get out of school. I neglected to mention that our school had nearly no windows whatsoever. It was originally designed as a prison, I shit you not. And, like a prison, we were dealing with overcrowding issues. But taxpayers don't want to front any money to fix this because then they won't be able to get more guns and beef jerky and fishing tackle and morning after pills for their sisters. I love living in a redneck town.
This week on the calendar marks the start of our standardized testing. We'd go from one room to another to take the various fill-in-the-dot timed tests with a couple of minute breaks between. Exciting like watching geriatrics bone. But I was smart and I had books to read and a penchant for doodling when I finished prematurely. Often times, I'd finish with over half the remaining time on the clock to spare. I might not have been a genius, but face it, the standards for a child's intelligence just keep getting lower and lower. Now I'm drawing my name in 3-D on my month-old plain yellow folder. Man I'm badass. I'm also taking notice of the blonde sitting in front of me. Well maybe not blonde, blonde. But a light burnette, shoulder length. Great complexion, nice smile, and just an inch or two shorter than me. Her name was Chelsey. A shy girl. I remember hearing about her in seventh grade, getting a gigantic teddy bear from her then-boyfriend. Big-league dating is when you actually have to get the other person presents which means you need money which translates into me being screwed.
She must've initiated a friendly conversation with me about the testing. We talked a little before the next round of testing began. She was just as smart as me (if not more) but had a friendly personality to back it up, whereas I....had no personality. And I smelled. I showered everyday. I used deoderant. But the armpits...they were too strong. So anything at this point of the opposite sex making eye-contact with me was good progress. I finished this next test early and started writing. My white Adidas shell-toe shoe found it's way to the back of her desk and gave it a quick nudge. She slowly turned her head to receive my goofy looking smile and folded piece of paper. Five minutes later, she returns the same piece of paper to me with her reply. And surprise surprise, folks, it wasn't -2 DIE.
The remainder of the week went by in a flurry with us talking during breaks and waving to each other at lunch. Her friends kind of gave me wry smiles because they knew that she could find something a lot more aesthetically pleasing. To hell with them, though. They were a bunch of smarty-pants seadonkies that wouldn't receive their first kiss until prom. When they went with their father or brother. Bitches. I was nervous at this point because I'd never actually asked anyone out. Wait, scratch that. I'd never asked anyone out *successfully*. When you're a "new" geeky kid from catholic school and you get poured into the acidic vat that is public education, don't aim for the popular girls. Not only will they say no, but they'll humiliate you too. Jessa before Chelsey really didn't count as dating because first and second graders...not the same thing as this at all. I'm much more grown up!
I think she asked me out. How's that for testicular fortitude? Even during our relationship, we continued to write each other notes all the time. Her father was the shop teacher and in a month or so, I was going to be in his class for the required quarter. Great. He's a nice enough guy, though. I should be safe. I was happy with Chelsey. Hell, I was happy with anything but this was great. Now that I was "with" someone cute, suddenly I had a little bit of status. With that, though, comes new feats like going to school dances and conversing about something other than videogames. More notes passed and I started saving them in a sock drawer at home. It was starting to get pretty full. Every once in awhile, I'd pick out a random one to read.
The big finale with Chelsey was at a hayride for Halloween. I believe her birthday was actually on the holiday. Which reminds me - don't pick up a girl right before the holiday season, especially when her birthday is mixed in there as well when you have no money whatsoever and your parents are far from wealthy. It was a dance and then a hayride. At her church. Her Lutheran church. A little bit awkward, but I can deal with it. I survive the dance and we head for a ride through some backwoods farms on a large flat trailer complete with bales of hay. Chelsey's dad was there chaparoning which was okay because even if I *did* have moves (I didn't), I wouldn't have done anything anyway. The cool thing to do for the night was hay fight by grabbing a fistfull of straw and trying to shove it down another person's jacket. Don't ask. I found myself flirting just a tiny bit with a girl I hadn't ever talked to before. Her name was Christina and we had some hella good hay fights. It was nothing out of line, just being friendly. Chelsey didn't seem upset at all. The night ended back at the church with parents picking up their pre-pubescent offspring.
The cold bitch known as winter struck less than a month later. Before Christmas, Chelsey decided it wasn't working out and that it'd be best just to be friends. We had just gotten into the phase of saying "I love you" for the first time and it was sort of a big deal. I knew something was wrong one night on the phone when she couldn't say it back to me. Life goes on. That was probably the easiest breakup I've been through. I never did even kiss her, much less grab anything. In one of her last letters, she told me that she dreamed that we kissed. I was a bit slow and panic-stricken so I uhhhhm, never really made her dream come true.
My lackluster performance in her dad's shop class didn't get any better when we broke up. In fact, by the end of the quarter, the only thing bringing down my honor roll status was my grade in shop. I had to come in early one morning and talk to her father about bringing my grade up, explaining to him what it meant to me and asking if I could do any project over or something to beef it up. He took pity on me, presumably because this particular scrawny nerd had been dumped by his daughter, and raised my grade.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-20 15:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i already rated this the first time but since we were talking about writing and stuff earlier:
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Marked improvement from yesterday. Have a new tip: Try to keep everything in the same tense. You jump from past-tense to present-tense like it's going out of style, and that makes for a choppy read.
I had the tense problem when I wrote the survivor series and still have it sometimes now. interesting to read through old posts and see some of the old names in the reviews. some I wish would rejoin the idiocy.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-11-18 18:09:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here you go Captain Morgan.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-09-22 09:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-22 05:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Automatic bandsaw+2
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2005-09-21 17:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"... penchant for doodling when I finished prematurely."
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Maybe it was because you were a premature ejacultor?
HAHAHAHA... I'm a genius.
Good story though.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-09-21 17:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by johnhutch (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:50:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoyed this. Made me reflect on my own middle school romances.
Plus, I'm a sucker for anything on this site that isn't about poop or contains the line "he remembered his years of training"
=========================================================
Bullocks John,
You +1'd my poop story!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74850
Haha, gotcha!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-21 16:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dug this
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-09-21 16:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this, although it did wander a little.
-Dave
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-21 15:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hoping you at least kissed her....
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-09-21 15:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have hit that. Chicks dig sex in the hay.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not horrible.
not un-good either.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was going to +2 this until you went back on your ability to name all the espers.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it...
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Marked improvement from yesterday. Have a new tip: Try to keep everything in the same tense. You jump from past-tense to present-tense like it's going out of style, and that makes for a choppy read. Spelling was better, phrasing was better... I especially liked the line about the rays of the sun waving goodbye... This wasn't bad! Lesson for your next in the series: try being less stream-of-conciousness and more storytelling. Instead of saying you forgot to put something in, just go back and type it in. Preserves your flow. I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do on the next one!
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don't worry my sexy internet friend. your dog still thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced dog food, and next to a walrus, you're looking pretty slim. so keep your chin up and you shoulders square, and never forget that Zorgon is not a real planet, unless you're in make believe land. then it's the awesomest planet of them all.
Submitted by johnhutch (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoyed this. Made me reflect on my own middle school romances.
Plus, I'm a sucker for anything on this site that isn't about poop or contains the line "he remembered his years of training"
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was sweet.
Maybe it isn't your best writing (I know you're capable of a lot), but I still enjoyed it.
I'm a sucker for anything nostalgic.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I never did even kiss her, much less grab anything." - What.the.Fuck.
There was something about this piece that reaked of mediocrity and dullness. I don't know. Perhaps it was the subject matter and the tone of the writing.
Submitted by nya_nyo (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:26:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
You missed the best part where I forgot to hyphenate a word!
Sad panda =(
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because you have a good sense of humor
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"She slowly turned her head to receive my goofy looking smile and folded piece of paper. Five minutes later, she returns the same piece of paper to me with her reply. And surprise surprise, folks, it wasn't -2 DIE."
I actually liked that line. +2 die
Submitted by Quale (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its alright, if a bit boring.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You missed the best part where I forgot to hyphenate a word!
Sad panda =(
Submitted by nya_nyo (user info) at 2005-09-21 13:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I stopped reading this after:
"By the time I'd reached eigth grade, I felt I'd wisened up a little."
It's called spellcheck