Fallen Faith (860 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Kaote
Rating: 1.96 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2005-09-21 14:16:34 EDT
Vasquez didn't remember when he woke up. He just remembered laying there on the ground, the cold dirt pressing up against his cheek. Cold. There was a time when he didn't know the sensation of cold. There had been a time before when all he knew was light and the sound of singing. But now he knew. He knew coldness and hunger and fear and other horrible mortal pains. How the Lower endured it, he would never understand. But that was why he had ended it, that was why...
Why was he feeling cold dirt against his face?
Vasquez didn't move. He was scared to. He distinctly remembered placing the shotgun in his mouth, he remembered pulling the trigger, a sound - then nothing. He had been in his apartment in Boston. There was a definite lack of cold dirt in his apartment. Even if he had missed, or survived, there should not be cold dirt anywhere near him. There could only be one explanation.
He was in Hell.
That had to be it. He was, after all, a Fallen Angel. He was mortal thanks to unwillingness to participate in the sacrificial ritual of cleansing for the return of Mammon. He had believed that once an Angel defied the Ominomicon, they should stay in exile. His pleas had fallen on deaf ears. He had been stripped of his divinity had shorn of his wings. Banished to Earth, he had found momentary solace among a group of metaphysical refugee like himself. He had even been taken into the arms of the Princess of Hell. None of it had mattered for long, though. He could not withstand the onslaught of mortal sensations.
Of course he was in Hell. Where else would suicides go?
Perhaps if he just lay here. Eventually he would just waste away. Rot into the nether earth beneath him. He was unsure of the politics of Hell, but he was relatively sure that wasn't going to happen. Still, he lay there, eyes closed, contemplating his situation. What would the Infernal do with such a find as him? Would his tainted glory amuse them? Was he to be tortured until the End Times for his acts against the Allfather? Would they understand his transgressions and attempt to sway him to their side? Perhaps an office job somewhere in the lower realms, counting damned souls for Lucifer himself?
Finally, Vasquez could take it no longer. He was going to have to face his fate like a stronger creature than this. He had already shown such weakness on the Midguard, he must accept his lot now. Slowly, he climbed to his feet and sighed. He opened his eyes, prepared for the most gruesome of sights.
A pale pink sky hovered above him, alit with a giant dark purple sun. Brilliant white clouds moved faster than any he had ever seen in Heaven or Earth. On the horizon, he could see the moon rising, it's coloring a deep black.
He appeared to be on a path of some kind, like a walking trail or one designed for small carriages. Around him was a grassland of tall weeds and other thin plants. They swayed in the strong wind blowing through the valley. Yes, he was in a valley. Mountain ranges could be seen to both his sides, closer to his left. Perhaps a forest in the distance behind him and before him... nothing. Just more grassland.
Unless there had been drastic remodeling, this was not Hell.
Vasquez examined himself. He had on the same clothing that he had been wearing when he had shot himself. Boots, black jeans, white tee shirt, navy pee coat. He always wore the coat, he was always cold. Strangely, he wasn't now, but everything about now was strange. This couldn't be Hell, and it definitely wasn't anywhere on Earth. Lucinda had described the Uhmbra to him a few times and this didn't sound like it either. But why would he be there anyhow?
He had a choice. Stay here in this field and wait to see if anybody or anything came along, or follow it to see if it went anywhere. Looking back at what appeared to be a forest behind him and the black moon, Vasquez decided to troop on ahead. At least in the grassland he could see if anyone was approaching. It would seem the overwhelming curiosity he had developed in his short time as a mortal canceled out his desire to end his existence. At least for the time being.
As he walked, he thought about it. He wasn't Angelic again, that was for sure. But he didn't feel entirely mortal either. One, he wasn't abysmally cold like he always had been. Second, he didn't really "Feel" anything. Not too strongly. That had been the greatest problem being mortal. Everything had felt like a sensory overload at times. Especially when he had been intimate with Grace. He had cared for her, but their lovemaking could be as painful to him as it was pleasurable. He had never told her for fear of how she would react. Even the child of Satan was delicate about certain things.
In took him a while before he noticed. Amongst all the flora, there was no fauna. Not a bird, not even a bug that he had seen. Nothing but minerals and vegetation. Obviously there had to be some life here, because this path was well worn down by something. Vasquez had a thought, and reached into his interior pocket. Sure enough, his crumpled pack of cigarettes were still there. He retrieved his lighter and went to spark it.
Nothing.
Again he tried, with no luck. Perhaps this is Hell, he thought with a laugh. He put the pack back in his coat and continued along the path. He didn't no how long he had traveled, but he no longer could see the forest behind him and the sky had grown a considerable shade or two darker. Again, he thought about where he could have ended up. This could not be one of the Far Worlds. They appeared just as Earth did, but smaller. Besides, there was no way to explain his travel to this location.
Vasquez made his way along the path. Still he did not tire, leading him to believe he was no longer mortal. His thoughts swirled and he was so caught up by them he did not notice the structure before him until he was almost upon it. Encouraged by the sight, he quickened his pace. By the time he reached it, it had grown quite dark.
Growing closer, Vasquez realized it was set off from the path by a number of feet. Made of wood, it stood about twenty feet tall and appeared twice that in length. Coming up upon it, he finally realized what this thing was. A gallows. At the far end, three bodies hung from the noses tied off around their necks. He caught himself in mid-prayer and quietly went up to examine the remains.
The bodies were... unusual. They appeared human, but had marking all over them, like cattle brands. One, a woman, had what looked like webbing between her fingers and toes. They were dressed in ribbons of material and they had long hair, braided down the backs of their heads. What was this? Tiny rhinestones embedded in the flesh of one of the men? Vasquez leaned in for a closer look.
The man's head jerked back, and vomit spewed forth from his mouth.
Vasquez leaped back. This man was still alive!
"Calm yourself, Angel. This vessel is quite dead."
Vasquez stumbled back from the gallows, starring up at the speaking corpse as it twisted it's broken neck to look at him.
"Greetings. Welcome to the Par-Uhmbra."
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-26 13:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-09-21 17:56:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story, kinda similar to mine, except its an angel instead of a human, more traditionally satanic imagery (vomit, vomit, vomit) Can't wait to see where this is going. It's a little like Paradise Lost in a way, fallen angel.
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I DO NOT REMEMBER WRITING THIS REVIEW
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-10-01 10:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how you add your own artwork.
Very good.
I was wondering what had happened to him after he killed himself.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-09-28 12:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, that answers that question.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-09-22 17:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
one of my favorite series.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome.
Submitted by slinkysmurfette (user info) at 2005-09-22 11:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am home Ant just playing around on my puter.
Submitted by fallenangel (user info) at 2005-09-22 10:49:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you for ending it as a cliffhanger.
+2 for the subject matter.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-09-22 10:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-09-22 08:42:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*cold glare*
TWO APOSTROPHE ERROR'S (yes that was on purpose for dramatic effect)?!!??
Sirrah, I challenge you to a duel over this blatant attempt to make me cry.
Cannon at dawn.
And by 'dawn' I mean 'a reasonable hour, like maybe 1 PM-ish'.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-22 05:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
plus 2 die
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-09-22 05:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont think i ever read anything cooler .. oh wait , the rest of your stuff !!
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2005-09-22 03:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-09-22 02:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is very good.
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-09-21 20:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome!
Your description of his environment was very cool. I believe this is the first time you have done an ending with a cliff hanger.
"three bodies hung from the noses tied off around their necks". Unless this place is even stranger than it seems the word should be nooses.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-09-21 20:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit! Actual good writing!!! It got gooder and gooder as I continued reading! My grammar is atrocious!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-09-21 17:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story, kinda similar to mine, except its an angel instead of a human, more traditionally satanic imagery (vomit, vomit, vomit) Can't wait to see where this is going. It's a little like Paradise Lost in a way, fallen angel.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-09-21 17:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, this was excellent. I liked your ideas of Vasquez being overwhelmed by earthly sensations. That's a very cool aspect. I liked your description of his environment and the mystery of how he got there. Good ending too. Though I think the dude should have puked on him to max out the 'gross' factor.
Most excellent!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-21 17:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great!
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-09-21 17:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-09-21 16:27:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really, really good.
______________________________
I concur, now lets go club that seal.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-09-21 16:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really, really good.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-09-21 16:15:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantabulous.
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-09-21 15:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-21 15:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dan - The short story I posted here, "Again With THe Blood" is also on http://www.downwarden.com under the fan fiction link. I'm also having the same story published in audiobook format by Horror Punk Productions for one of their anthologies. I also have my own website, although I haven't updated in a looooong time, at http://antius777.freeservers.com
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Badass so far, can't wait to hear the story of how he got there...
don't tell me Ed and him are going to end up fighting in some battle of chaos
vs. the forces of good and evil combined, that would be sooo fucking sweet!
One thing: "He didn't no how long he had traveled" I don't think I need to point it out.
Are you published anywhere besides here and pH?
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, ahumblefool, there are 6 parts to this. This is actually the 3rd story arc in a Maxi-series. If you're really bored, please go back and read the "Diary Of A Kaote" and "Saving Grace" series.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am hopng this is going to continue? Great beginning, feels very Dark Tower
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-09-21 14:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Creepy. Surreal. Altogether excellent.