They’re union was as comfortable as a cock in a sock (1168 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.88 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saxon (View user info) at 2005-09-21 19:25:16 EDT
Feeling that familiar twinge low in his belly his thoughts went to her and he fondly remembered the first time he laid eyes on her as he steered his car off the freeway. Memories of seeing her for the first time bought a smile to his face. She was a little plumper then he would normally have liked but her beauty shadowed that of any other he had gazed upon before. She was gorgeous that much was true and it had been love at first sight. He giggled to himself remembering his nervousness as he approached her. First impressions were always important to him and he wanted to make the best impression upon her because he knew she was the one.
Here he had found what he had been searching for and he studied her beauty from a distance at first, admiring her shapely figure, imagining the secrets she kept. His first introduction to her was one of solemn pleasantries. He wanted to portray an air of intelligence and strength and even though they only stood in each other's company for mere minutes he knew from the furtive exchange of glances that there was interest from both parties.
It was a couple of days before he saw her again, he recalled as he pulled into his street. His face flushed at the recollection of his heartbeat upon seeing her again. He purposely delayed their meeting again so he didn't seem desperate but it wasn't long after that second meeting that she became his.
She had moved into his house a few days ago now and he parked his car in his garage, the feeling low in his belly growing more urgent. He leapt from his car excitedly and briskly walked to the front door trying to contain his excitement. Unlocking the door he entered his house and thoughts of his ex flashed through his mind.
They had spent many years together but he had never loved her. He knew she had felt used and he did feel sorrow and pity for her the day she left his house but she had to go, as they had no future together and she had become a high maintenance partner. This was confirmed the day his eyes fell upon his new love. He made sure his ex had long left the house before his new love moved in to avoid any unpleasantness and he wished her well as he watched her being driven away by a man neither of them knew.
He hurried up the hallway of his house heading for the door he knew she was behind. The urgent need he felt for her growing quickly now. Pushing the door open his gaze fell upon her and he sighed softly. Her expression gave nothing away but he knew she was ready for him. His need for her was over whelming now and unbuckling his pants he pushed them to his ankles along with his underwear and moved toward her.
She didn't move or make a sound as he positioned himself enjoying her familiar warmth. He knew his need would be satiated quickly and it wasn't long before his first emission. His face was one of contentment as he reached for the tissue, feelings of sated gratification washing over his body.
User Reviews
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-22 19:41:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-10-25 04:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, good work!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-09-22 11:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-09-22 11:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw where this was headed quite early but still pretty entertaining.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-09-22 10:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My boss was singing "I've Been Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart" to himself while I was reading this.
Eerie.
Submitted by Katelyn (user info) at 2005-09-22 02:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-09-21 23:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahaha Bubba i was waiting for someone to mention it. I hit the submit button then checked the post to make sure the pic loaded then looked at the title and uttered a soft "fuck".
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-09-21 22:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm quite certain someone's a little constipated on this review list.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-09-21 22:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh! +2 even if you did use the wrong version of
the word 'their' in the title. . .
(someone needs to fuck with you. May as well be me).
Good story!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-09-21 22:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love my toilet too. Not like love-it-long-time love it, but I love it. There's all different kinds of love, you know.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-09-21 22:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hereby declare Saxon as the King of All Toilet Humor.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-09-21 20:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brought a tear to my eye.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-09-21 19:54:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Makes me want to pee
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-09-21 19:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha! This was a great set up!
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-09-21 19:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahaha try your local plumber, i bought a new toilet last week and started writing a post about ants but kept thinking abut my new toilet hehehehehe.
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2005-09-21 19:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was quite good.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-09-21 19:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck can I buy one of these "smiles" you speak of?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-09-21 19:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need to fuck my toilet, too.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-21 19:30:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
um, tomorrow is SPT, my friend.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-09-21 19:29:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha