It was a dark and stormy night ..... (814 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.42 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by bLinkiSh (View user info) at 2005-09-22 08:02:28 EDT
I was cleaning. There wasn't much to do, but I get restless at night when I'm alone. The dishes had been done and the floors had been swept. I put fresh water in the fridge and wiped the counters. With a sigh, I shuffled to the bathroom to take a long bath before calling it a night.
After toweling off, I put on my robe and did a once over, checking locks and windows. Reassured, I headed off to bed. Around 2:00 am I woke up. Sitting up I rubbed my eyes and yawned, scanning for the disturbance. All seemed well, nothing had been moved. But wait....
The closet door had closed. The house was dark. You were working nights again. It was open when I fell asleep. I think.
I heard a noise, assumed it was the kitten. You know how she always gets locked in there, sleeping in the laundry.
I opened the door, just a crack. Usually she runs right out. I called her name, opened the door wider. But still, she remained elusive. The door is wide open now; I flick on the light, no kitten. I move some hangers, check behind the laundry basket, not there.
Suddenly I hear a loud noise in the kitchen and head out of the bedroom. What do I see? The little ball of fluff, happily eating her food, her toys scattered across the floor.
I begin to feel a bit anxious. What was the noise? Did I ever hear it? Do I want to know?
Slowly walking back to the bedroom, listening intently for any sounds. Ears straining, hands busy flicking on every light switch I pass, my heart is beginning to race. As I enter the bedroom I notice the door is half closed. The closet light is still on. Did I push the door as I left? I could have sworn I left it wide open.
As I approach the door I see it. The hunched figure pacing in the corner. It's half covered in shadows, but I can see the tattered clothes. And the sheen of sweat on its knotted hands. I freeze as it notices me. I am trembling, my mouth is dry. I slowly reach for the doorknob as it turns towards me. Simultaneously we lunge, both for the doorway, both for different reasons. As the door slams shut I feel the weight of its body hurtle into the wood. My hand turns the lock, fingers sweaty and slippery.
I realize I'm holding my breath and let it out with a cry. What is that? I think I'm going to puke. I stand there, holding the handle; afraid to let go for fear I'll see it turn. How long has it been since the lock has been tested? I can't recall.
Nearly 5 minutes pass. I stand my ground, hearing nothing from within. I test the lock, letting go of the handle. No movement. It almost seems as if I've imagined the whole incident. I take a deep breath; let it out with a slight chuckle. What a story, I think, to tell you in the morning. I must be losing my mind.
I hear your voice. You're calling to me, asking for help. You sound hurt, on the verge of tears. My stomach drops, my mouth is watering. I hear you scratching on the door. From inside the closet.
User Reviews
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-05-09 23:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool. I'll go read daking's version now.
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2006-04-15 23:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
He who locks into his closet a joy
Doth the winged life destroy.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-17 07:57:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Was it the alien from SIGNS?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-22 08:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-09-22 08:28:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually not done yet ... working on second half, not to sure where I want to go with it yet.
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Make the protagonist a child or similar and have the figure be Michael Jackson hiding from paparazi.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-22 08:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
nice
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-09-22 08:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually not done yet ... working on second half, not to sure where I want to go with it yet.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-09-22 08:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs a better ending.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-09-22 08:08:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked this, try to keep it all in one tense though.