Stood Up (917 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.86 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NerfHerder <NerfHerder.at.comic.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-22 14:53:44 EDT
I don't date a lot.
Call it a problem with confidence, call it a problem with my looks, or call it a problem that I just can't fix and am too lazy to try. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
So on the first day of class in my sophomore year, I thought the angels were perhaps looking down upon me and smiling as a beautiful angel named Elena sat next to me during Sociology 101. She was a bit shy at first, as most freshmen are, but she had tenacity and a spark that showed her maturity was deeper than she let on. We talked about the normal "getting to know you" crap.
"Who are your professors?" "Do you like college?" "Do you miss your friends and family?" "Do you want to...y'know...maybe hang out some time?"
The latter was something of an uncharted territory. But even more surprising was the deep glint in Elena's eyes when she said yes. We quickly made plans and exchanged phone numbers and screen names before the professor started her lecture. During which, neither of us could keep our eyes from wandering to the others'.
It was the most innocently erotic class I ever had.
I parted with Elena that day with bounds of confidence in myself. I couldn't even remember the last time I felt so cocky, so manly, and so distinctly badass.
We had agreed to meet outside of Elena's dorm that night at 8:00, and I eagerly wished the hours would go by faster than seconds just for once in my life.
After being giddy for the rest of the day, 8:00 showed up. Finally, the girl of my dreams could be all mine for a few hours with boring sociology talk in the background. Getting to spend a night with the beautiful goddess the angels had named Elena was all I could focus on.
As I walked over to her dorm, I was convinced the bounce in my step would send me off to Jupiter. It did not.
I arrived in front of her building at promptly 8:02. Just early enough to be late, and just late enough to be early. But unfortunately, no Elena. I thought that perhaps she was waiting at the back entrance, as the ways our dorms are set up are pretty awkward. I casually strolled over to the back entrance, hands in my pockets, and lumps in my throat.
At the back entrance, my head swirled around the empty space and my legs carried me over to the doors. I attempted to open them to no avail, but instead peered inside to see if perhaps she would be staring right back at me on the other side as the playful little minx that I believed her to be.
Only drab, white walls stared back at me. And I didn't believe that the walls would be enough minx for me.
I jogged back to the front of the building this time, 10% hoping she would be there but 90% of me knowing that she wouldn't be.
"It's alright," I said to myself. "Girls are just like this. She's probably running late in the shower, or taking a little longer to do her makeup. Something..."
I waited and waited and waited until my watch announced it was 8:15, then decided to use my last hope: the cellular telephone nudged in my left pocket.
I picked up the phone with my hand and observed the color display. I scrolled through my phonebook, selecting Elena's number, which I had added earlier that day.
"Calling..." the display now read as I held the phone to the side of my head.
*Ring*
*Ring*
*Ring*
"Hey..." said a voice on the other end.
"Elena! Hey, it's Chris, list-"
"You've reached Elena's phone. Obviously I don't like you or I would've picked up the phone. Leave me a message, loser!"
I knew the voicemail greeting wasn't recorded specifically for me, or at least I hoped not. But the words still cut me deeper than any knife ever could.
She wasn't outside. She wasn't answering her phone. She hadn't called me to let me know she'd be running late. It was now 22 minutes after we were supposed to meet.
I was being stood up.
This had never happened to me before. Conforming with the proper way to deal with a tragedy, I went into the first stage: denial. I called Elena back up and left a message this time, which went something like this:
"Hey Elena, I must've missed you at your dorm or something. Call me back when you get this so we can still go out. Talk to you soon, bye."
After I left the message I saw just how desperate I was. It both angered me and saddened me at the same time.
As I walked back to my dorm, I saw ambulances speeding one way or another.
"Those had better be for that bitch," I thought. "That's the only way I'd feel any better. If she slipped in the shower and knocked open her head and blood is spilling everywhere and her last thoughts of how disappointed I'd be because we couldn't go have coffee together."
"Just one fucking cup of coffee!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Other students passing by glanced at me for a second but most turned back to what they were doing.
I trudged back to my dorm room, signed online to my instant messenger account, and saw that Elena's screen name was online. I decided to have one last go at her before I gave up.
"Uh, we did say 8 o' clock, right?" I typed to her.
Nothing was typed back for 3 minutes and 56 seconds, and then something came up on the screen. Words of hope, perhaps?
"Elena86 has signed off at 8:47 PM."
Fuck you, Elena.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-08 05:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It gets better apparently.
Submitted by KC_DC (user info) at 2005-11-08 04:21:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are a loser, but here is a plus two for your name
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-22 17:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-22 17:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the life of me, I have never understood why anyone would do that intentionally. I mean, honestly... if you don't like the person, why make plans to go on a date with them?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-09-22 17:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You could always just impregnate her mother and give this girl the lifelong gift of a half-sister that looks surprisingly like you.
The nice part about it? When you tell her, you can say "So...I helped your mom miss her period. That means she's late. LIKE YOU WERE THE OTHER NIGHT, RIGHT? Harharharwallawallawallapenis."
*sigh*
Is it time to go yet?
Submitted by miss_tila (user info) at 2005-09-22 16:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:33:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
date her roommate...no matter how fat, ugly, or non-existant she is.
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This is the best one so far..
Yes, do this and she will go fuckin crazy.
Women are always jealous of what other women have.
Esecially if it's there Left-overs (ouch, sorry!)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you want me to kick her ass?
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a beeotch.
here is a +2 to make you feel better.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
date her roommate...no matter how fat, ugly, or non-existant she is.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
start stalking her
Submitted by yeahthatme (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:05:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like she purposely set you up, some chicks get off on that.
Here's what do you for revenge...
Buy some cheap flowers from the store, or rip some out of the ground from somewhere on campus.
Then next time time you her in class, give her the flowers, and say in a loud voice "Hey, thanks for the date last night, I had a real nice time." Then cut class and walk out of there.
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Wonderful idea! But just to be safe, change "date" to "anal sex" and "I had a real nice time" to "my friends really enjoyed watching you fuck that dog!" and I say go for it.
Submitted by nya_nyo (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:18:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
suffocate her with a plastic bag and then play in her blood.
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i agree
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
suffocate her with a plastic bag and then play in her blood.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking bitch. It pains me to hear this. Run away with me to Colorado Chris, fuck school, fuck life, let's just go to the mountains and become professional snowboarders. You might think this is a joke but it's not. I am 100% serious. I'm leaving Saturday. Let's go!
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:05:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like she purposely set you up, some chicks get off on that.
Here's what do you for revenge...
Buy some cheap flowers from the store, or rip some out of the ground from somewhere on campus.
Then next time time you her in class, give her the flowers, and say in a loud voice "Hey, thanks for the date last night, I had a real nice time." Then cut class and walk out of there.
Everyone in class will think you and her got it on, and she will think you're a total psycho.
She will call/email you asking for an explanation. Blow her off. She'll want to see you, so agree to a time, then stand her up!
REVENGE!
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Wow.
I would try this for sure if I were you.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like she purposely set you up, some chicks get off on that.
Here's what do you for revenge...
Buy some cheap flowers from the store, or rip some out of the ground from somewhere on campus.
Then next time time you her in class, give her the flowers, and say in a loud voice "Hey, thanks for the date last night, I had a real nice time." Then cut class and walk out of there.
Everyone in class will think you and her got it on, and she will think you're a total psycho.
She will call/email you asking for an explanation. Blow her off. She'll want to see you, so agree to a time, then stand her up!
REVENGE!
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouch.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had the EXACT same shit happen to me freshman year. Fucking bitches. Her excuse when I saw her in class the following monday, I shit you not, "Uh yeah, my dad's best friend's dog died." Her excuse was so fucking lame that I haven't forgotten it over the years.
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2005-09-22 15:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Couldn't you have just spoken to her during your next Soc class and found out what happened?
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-09-22 14:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouch.
Ever figure out why she did that?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-09-22 14:56:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OU, right? Then I have a secret for you.
She didn't really sign off. She was getting railed from behind by a frat guy, when her hands slipped off the back of the chair and she fell face first to the floor, knocking the power plug out of the wall.
But you're in Athens, so you can always riot.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-09-22 14:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That sucks. I'll kill her.
BTW, you're not supposed to date in college. You're supposed to have drunken casual sex with girls you meet in bars. Now get out there and make me proud.