Ubergratitude SPT (389 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.86 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kadunkadunk <lizzirose.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-22 22:10:45 EDT
About four weeks ago I said goodbye to Virginia and drove across the country. I had a great time, saw the country, made some friends, took shitty pictures with a shitty camera and drank beer, blah blah, blah. Now, I know that everyone missed me, and that lots of people care that I haven't been to Uberland in a while, but the withdrawl symptoms have been driving me nuts.
Today I realized what I'd been missing, and how much sense it makes that I wake up in the middle of the night, sweaty from intense, lucid dreams of furiously trying to rank posts and not being able to login. The Uberworld is my world. And I do love it so.
I'd just like to say,
thank you for this, i forget who posted this one.
"Question:
The zoo has twelve monkeys. How many jars of peanut butter does the zoo keeper need for his birthday party?
A. 1
B. 4
C. 7
D. Mexico"
and to
"First Post!"
A classic title, to say the least. Then the big honking picture of meat that took forever to load on this shitty dial-up connection I can't believe I actually admit to having.
To Goose, for "Christmas in September" because I think I shit a little because it sounded just like the voices in my head.
To the guy with a love for Listerine so powerful it prevents cavaties- I mean, give me the creeps and makes me thank god that I have put 3,000 more miles between us.
As for the hubcap question, I don't give a shit, but am happy to see that for all my bumbiling and making an ass out of myself both online and off, there is someone out there who has me beat. Hubcaps don't do anything but they do cost money. Like fish, or Sony laptops.
I have seen the error of my ways, and hope I can rack up some juicy -2's just so I can sleep at night.
I promise I'll have a better post tommorrow. But for now, I'm just happy to be back.
Viva la SPT!
User Reviews
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-09-28 08:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, no worries JonnyX, they're great.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-23 13:50:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
camwhore your titties, please
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-09-23 06:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Phallic
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-23 00:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Phallic, you are a god among men.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-09-22 23:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Phallic, what the fuck is wrong with you?
That was glorious
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-09-22 23:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Question:
The zoo has twelve monkeys. How many jars of peanut butter does the zoo keeper need for his birthday party?
Firstly, the information provided is not sufficient for the adequate analysis of this question's many parts. I am assuming the numerical identification of the Zoological Park's primate population was "mere puff" intended to deleteriously obfuscate potential respondents. Sidelining that information as an extricable irrelevancy, one can distil the remaining information to the sole presumption itself. "How many jars of peanut butter does the zoo keeper need for his birthday party?". For any sort of conclusion to be made, vast amounts of further data would need to be collaborated, including:
-The number of parties (P) attending
-What quotient of P suffered from allerginous reactions to peanuts, nuts and nut products.
-What food and activities would be taking place and whether the quotient from part B would all be participating.
-The quantities of Peanut Butter (Product) to be used in any such foods/ activities.
-Whether various ulterior considerations would impact on the above figures (ie: if the "monkey" information was in fact relevant as they were going to somehow interact with either P or the product).
Failing this, however, one must merely use estimation and traditional reductive techniques to arrive at an answer. As such, we will here remove the answers that we find LEAST feasible in order to achieve some sort of result.
The most overtly farcical response is "D. Mexico". Mexico is a proper noun, not a numerical value and, ergo, not only is not a reasonable response to the question but it is not a rational one. The contravention of common grammatical considerations (pro erat: Mexico is NOT a number)means that we can safely remove this, leaving only A, B and C.
It is here that we must mount a more hypothetical tangent. The remaining responses are 1,4 and 7. Having re-reviewed the information, it has come to light that perhaps the Zoo keeper is holding the party WITH THE MONKEYS.
As such, the amount of peanut butter required would have to be in some way proportional and mathematically rational insofar as that the monkeys would recieve equal servings, and not become agitated.
This allows us to remove A. 1, as one jar of peanut butter would not be sufficient ot serve 12 monkeys.
We are now left with:
B. 4
C. 7
From a mathematically progressive standpoint, it would be an initial reaction to say that "A-Ha! There are 12 monkeys so the peanut butter must be some factor of 12 so as to guarantee equal servings! The answer is B!"
But i believe this is a trick! For what the above person has not considered is that the ZOO KEEPER must himself eat!
Suddenly, the answer becomes clear! The Zoo keeper will have one jar to himself (as it is his birthday) and will split the REMAINING SIX between the twelve monkeys at EXACTLY HALF A JAR EACH!
QED the answer is C. 7.
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2005-09-22 22:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"First Post!"
A classic title, to say the least. Then the big honking picture of meat that took forever to load on this shitty dial-up connection I can't believe I actually admit to having.
wow. i didn't even let it finish loading after about 60 seconds 'cause it wasn't even half done.
i'm a dial-up victim as well.