Child Support (797 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.11 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dante Alighieri <yutaji.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-24 22:21:22 EDT
When someone puts in for Child Support in Dallas,
> Texas, proper procedure requires finding out who
> the father is to determine why he is not providing
> support.
>
> The following are responses entered by Dallas
> women on Child Support Agency forms in the
> section for listing fathers' details. These are actual
> excerpts from the forms. Reviewers felt that number
> 11 was very good - it took the prize in their collective
> opinion; number 10 was runner up.
>
> 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins,
> child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as
> to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe
> that he was conceived on the same night.
>
> 2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my
> child as I was being sick out of a window when taken
> unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a
> list of names of men that I think were at the party
> if this helps.
>
> 3. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing
> that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program
> about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in
> and watched more TV rather than going to the party at
> 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized
>
> 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter.
> He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my
> stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can
> contact BMW service stations in this area and see if
> he's had it replaced.
>
> 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a
> Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
> confirming that my son's conception was immaculate
> and that he is Christ risen again.
>
> 6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad, as he
> informs me that to do so would blow his cover and
> that would have cataclysmic implications for the
> economy. I am torn between doing right by you and
> right by the country. Please advise.
>
> 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as
> all blacks look the same to me.
>
> 8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch
> up with him, can you ask him what he did with my
> AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same
> time....well I don't have a clue.
>
> 9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was
> conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the
> MagicKingdom.
>
> 10. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl.
> She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue
> where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that
> night. I do remember that the sex was so good that
> I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father,
> can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
>
> 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my
> baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't
> be sure which one made you fart.
User Reviews
Submitted by Psycosis (user info) at 2005-09-26 21:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice use of cut and paste.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-25 07:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-09-25 04:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You live in Dallas?
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-09-25 04:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
> 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as
> all blacks look the same to me.
I was immediately going to -2 it upon looking at it, but I decided to read it, and as a sign that I have a first class ticket to hell, I laughed my ass off at this one.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-09-24 23:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
> For the format.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-24 23:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/75817
Submitted by RydinJ (user info) at 2005-09-24 23:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I find this awsome, no matter how old and or fake
Submitted by NocternalDragon (user info) at 2005-09-24 22:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large numbers.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-09-24 22:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lists like these are old and idiotic, and I find it difficult to believe anybody would actually say anything like that, no matter how dumb they were.