So London is Hosting the Olympics? Big Deal. What About the Redneck Games?! (1289 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 1.33 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Imperialist_Infidel_Invader (View user info) at 2005-09-25 09:05:33 EDT
Taken from our *one* local newspaper, the "Democrat :
http://www.tallahassee.com/mld/tallahassee/12735611.htm
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Mullet mania
Where trucks are lifted, flannel is fashionable and fish fly through the air
By Tony Bridges
DEMOCRAT STAFF WRITER
The contestants were all business in the front, party in the back.
They lined up on the stage, side by side, to show off their 'dos. One woman, five men and a whole lotta hair.
The idea was to be the one who whipped up the most noise from the crowd.
And the winner? Well, the winner would take the title.
Best Mullet at Tallahassee's first annual Rednek Gamz.
Southern sport
Yup, it's no joke.
Several hundred down-home folks met out at the county fairgrounds Saturday to drink beer, listen to country music and compete in the kind of sporting events possible only in the South.
Bobbin' for pigs' feet? On the schedule.
Fish tossing? It was there.
Belly-flopping in the mud pit? They did it.
Even something called the "Plumber's Crack."
"It's far more successful than we'd ever imagined," said Big Woody Hayes, on-air personality for the main sponsor, country station 94.9 FM.
In between the events, spectators and competitors mingled in the shade, steeping in the aroma of grilling meat.
Men wore their ball caps down low over their eyes, and pulled cigarettes from the rolled sleeves of their T-shirts, while women in camouflage tank tops and miniskirts two-stepped under the trees.
They sipped from plastic cups, under Confederate flags flapping in the hot breeze, and watched jacked-up trucks roll across the horseshoe field.
Just bein' neighborly. Until game time.
Measuring mullets
Hayes emceed the mullet contest.
He took the stage with a mike in one hand and a bottle of Southern Comfort in the other.
The contestants formed a line beside him.
"Remember, it's all by your applause, folks," he said.
Each mullet competitor got a chance to take a turn on the catwalk, then it was judging time.
The clapping was fairly subdued, except for mullets No. 2 and 6. They were just about even.
"All right, we're gonna have a mullet-off," Hayes said.
All but the two finalists left the stage. More clapping, some loud cheering. And a winner.
Mary Ann Hutchinson, 45, from Quincy. Hutch, to her friends.
She was sporting about three inches of spiky black hair on top, and a lot more of it down the back, over her collar.
She'd entered with her boss, Keith Brown, the owner of Badcock Home Furnishing Center. He'd dared her.
"It's the first thing I ever won," she said. "And I wasn't even drinking. How 'bout that?"
But that hairdo, one she's had nearly 25 years. How'd she get it?
Well, that's another story.
And according to Hutch, it starts out:
"We were sitting around the house one night, and we was drinking."
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***"We were sitting around the house one night, and we was drinking."***
'Nuff Said!
Redneck games.jpg (3 MB) [image/pjpeg]
User Reviews
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-09-28 23:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Muh muh muh mullet.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-28 18:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah ets, its call neckocide
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ain't they got some cleanin' up to do down yonder or somethin'?
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
oh, now i get it! you changed your name!
(i'm commenting. see? look, this is me...commenting!)
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-28 16:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes,
It is and thats the kind of shit I see on a daily basis!
Yes: check this out, i posted it like two years ago but it is very related to this post and mullets, rednecks etc in general - http://www.ubersite.com/m/9778
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-09-28 11:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thats funny shit.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-26 20:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i knew someone besides my boy apollo would see the light!
who else is enlightened?
who???
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-26 18:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is awesome
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-26 16:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
397 hits and only 5 fucking reviews that were not by me. What a goddamned shame, this was such an awesome article... and things like HAR HAR PEENER get 40000 reviews. fuck the hits, i want the dialogue
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-25 22:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kaelic, did you participate???
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2005-09-25 19:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that Sideburns with the fish?
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2005-09-25 19:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, that's my paper!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-25 14:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I should have changed my external name from IMPERIAL INFIDEL INVADER back to insanethemind, and this would get more comments.
REVIEW MY POST NOW! VALIDATE ME!
Besides, this shit is fucking funny!
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-09-25 11:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The future of these United States is on a dangerous edge indeed.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-25 10:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you might like this, Kamie Jeogh
Whats tricks?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-25 09:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahah awesome!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-25 09:14:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry about the photo's size guys, but in this instance I thought it was appropriate as it fully captured the utter hilarity that is North Florida entertainment.
Take a gander at the 'lady' who won Best Mullet in Show!
This kills me, it really does!