The girl I am going to sleep with tonight? (830 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.07 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Da MagnificAnt Dyldo <lordofduct.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-26 06:06:03 EDT
Last month I ran into an old friend from high school at a local club. I had seen her about 5 months ago and we exchanged numbers, but we never contacted each other as JJ died then Ian died. Luckily we ran into each other again after things could calm down for the two of us and we could think strait again. She was there at the club with her ex-boyfriend and we all hung out all night. I then invited them both back to my place and she slept with me as he slept on the couch.
We hang out often and have a great time. Her ex-boyfriend tags along as well. He is rather interesting and a bit insane. I do not mind; great conversation comes along too. We had an interesting weekend. They spent the entirety of it at my house. Saturday night I went off to work and allowed them to sleep in my bed while I was gone. They were thankful for my hospitality and took it upon themselves to clean my house, do my laundry and even do some grocery shopping.
Sunday morning I came home and went about my usual business of chores. To my surprise they were all done. This left me with running my errands and attempting to get my windows network to recognize my God damn Linux box. I have Samba working, my XP machine sees the computer, it asks me for a permission password, and I do not know what password this is as I have tried every FUCKING password. Anyways, I am getting off topic. What is that topic anyway?
I finally went to my room and lay with the two of them for awhile. Lyn and I spoke a bit and I let her nap some more before she left for work leaving me to sleep beside her ex. This man sleeps like a rock. Large men lumber when they walk; this man lumbers when he snores. Lyn had to pry underneath him and use her back to roll his ass over and make room for a third person. I only laughed.
I do not mind sharing a bed with a man. I am not concerned about seeming homosexual as I know no coitus will be performed this morning. He too is heterosexual and I should have nothing to fear. I crank the AC and curl up in my blankets to sleep away the Sabbath.
I have been named King of the land of Puhratahny. The Country is located within a city, within a state, within the US. It is populated by hard working Indian men and beautiful Indian women. Everyone drives Mercedes Benz SL550s and there is a giant temple in the middle of the city filled with beautiful virgins and a fountain that sprays Jell-O. I automatically use my Kingly abilities to go and molest me some young virgins! The temple is actually a movie theatre and I am now given the job to control the projector. The movie playing is "Caligula"... I shutter.
I awake to the ex-boyfriend cuddled around me. He then awakes; he screams and leaps to the other side of the bed. I fall back asleep. I am not afraid of seeming gay, I know I am gay and have no fears.
When I was a kid my eldest brother put me in a dress while a slept. He then carried me out the front door and lay me in the street and proceeds to kick me. I awake to watch him run back into the house. I am in 6th grade and living in a highly populated area. Embarrassment sets in and I cry.
I was in the living room of this really cute girl's house wearing a pretty red dress. Dexter is standing beside me wearing a matching blue dress. We are chugging Chloroseptic spray because it made are throats numb. When you are on LSD you do some really dumb things. The girl's mother bans us from her home. That same girl is given me two free kittens tomorrow. I like kittens.
I wore a dress and roller blades to school one day. It is very difficult to urinate in a urinal in a dress and rollerblades.
No one in my office believed that I have ever worn a dress. One of the girls brought in a very pretty tan dress and told me to prove it. Of course I obliged; no underwear either as boxers sticking out of dress just looks tacky. I sat back in my desk and continued on with my job. The supervisor then comes walking in the door to our office and takes on look at me.
"Oh, isn't that cute, but I didn't really want to see the ol' grocery bag."
I never wore a dress to work again.
At the local head shop years back I dressed up in some really tacky clothes they had around the shop. A Polaroid camera was procured from the owner and random shots were made. They were to be hung on the wall with all the other pictures left by the regulars. When the shop was afraid it was going to be shut down due to recent raids by the police I came in and procured what was left of the polaroids.
My name was Dyliana.
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-09-27 13:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my god. why haven't i started reading your posts before?
"I am not afraid of seeming gay, I know I am gay and have no fears."
hahahahahaha
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-09-26 17:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-09-26 11:21:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm totally a nerd because I'm giving you a +2 for Linux, email me if you want some help with getting samba to work. nseritti.at.gmail.com
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I got it all set up finally this morning! It was a problem on the Windows side of everything.
Submitted by alfakyle (user info) at 2005-09-26 17:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At first I didn't read the post, just went to the picture. Then I read the post and decided not to rub one out while looking at the picture. I deserve a cookie.
Submitted by ShakesZilla (user info) at 2005-09-26 16:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hit the one on the right. The other looks a little too slutty for me.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-09-26 14:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by hostileapostle (user info) at 2005-09-26 11:24:20 (#)
Ranking: 1
I had a hard time finding this point of this post, but that's ok because it was fairly amusing.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-09-26 13:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-09-26 13:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
needs less ghey.
unless you really are gay, in which case have fun... being gay. or whatever it is that gay guys do.
Submitted by hostileapostle (user info) at 2005-09-26 11:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had a hard time finding this point of this post, but that's ok because it was fairly amusing.
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-09-26 11:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm totally a nerd because I'm giving you a +2 for Linux, email me if you want some help with getting samba to work. nseritti.at.gmail.com
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-09-26 11:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just give in and start sucking cock like there is no tomorrow, Nancy boy.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-09-26 08:25:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's this?
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-26 06:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool but im not sure why
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-09-26 06:47:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I must admit. I do make really dumb mistakes here and there. Give me some credit for typing this at work at 5 in the morning. I work graveyard shift.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-09-26 06:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"We are chugging Chloroseptic spray because it made _are_ throats numb."
"That same girl is _given_ me two free kittens tomorrow."
PLEASE say that English isn't your first language...
Good post, though.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-09-26 06:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Disturbing.