Teaching a Four Year Old to Listen to the White Man (489 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.1 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sharps <joesephsharps.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-26 10:08:31 EDT
Kids - if you've ever spent a large amount of time with them, are little balls of energy that never stop. There is no such thing as a speed control on a young-un. Especially if the kid is a 4-year old, they are always set at full throttle.
I've been spending a large amount of time with my girlfriend's daughter. I must admit, I have a good time with her. More than anything, I like helping her understanding of the world grow and blossom. Or at least something like that...
When explaining things to kids, we sometimes "dumb" things down, and end up saying things that just sound wrong. Take explaining to the 4 year old about crossing streets.
Up where I live New Hampshire, we don't have crosswalk signs that say "walk" or "stop". We instead have a little hunched over man that stands for go, and a hand for stop. The go sign is in white, while the stop is in orange. The guy means go, the hand stop-very simple.
My girlfriend thought it needed color definition, too. As we are waiting to cross, she explained to the daughter about this: "____, the white man will tell us when to go."
Without a beat I had to say: "yes____, always listen to the white man."
Sadly, this joke is progressing-neither her mom or I can stop making little comments like this. It has become a cute sickness- it's starting to sound like a supremacist rally at times, however.
The other day, we were all hanging out at the coffee shop. I was outside hanging with the 4 year old, while her mom was inside getting a coffee or such. _____ and I were talking about Halloween costumes. She wanted to be a pail or the midnight sky (yeah, I'm clever, but as a kid, I think fireman or G.I. Joe was my limit). I find myself suggesting being a ghost.
"A ghost?" she asks.
"Oh yes. They are super scary! Especially ones with pointy-heads. It would be easy to make one out of a sheet, and super cool."
I got her super pumped about this idea. As her mom walked out of the coffee shop, she yelled really loud in front of a bunch of people:
"Mom, I want to wear a white sheet with a pointy head for Halloween!"
Kids-god bless them.
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-09-26 19:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahaha
And... _____ what a beautiful name! Too bad I didn't think of that for my daughter...
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-09-26 13:07:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-09-26 12:33:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i laughed so hard my anus actually leaked a little.
but not really.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-09-26 11:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Weak post, but the point behind it was funny.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:11:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:20:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HA!
Submitted by mcgee3394 (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Children can be so cute sometimes.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck kids.
Eric Rice does.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA