Ever been sick at work? (extract) (969 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.64 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by missedthepointagain.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2005-09-26 12:06:18 EDT
Minus two's at the door on your way out. Ta.
But some help with this bit would be good...
Friday 8.15am (work)
The coke has worn off...
And the freight train,
that is the light at the end of the tunnel
Has my name written all over it.
I've got my head on the desk, but its not going to help this time...
The gag reflex kicks in as I grab for the bin.
It tastes like a mix of absinth and amyl - no surprises there.
My eyes water as my stomach tries desperately to eject the toxic soup that I spent last night inhaling
I'm cold sweating like a cunt,
Strings of saliva and vomit swing from my mouth and my nose starts bleeding
"Faaaar-king hell...." I'm trying really hard to suppress a laugh...
Too late, there's blood and shit everywhere.
I catch the reflection in the glass and I'm grinning back at myself like some sick fucking kid,
who's shit his pants and thinks it's funny.
I'm not laughing because it's funny...I'm laughing because that's all there is left to do.
"Never again" I giggle...
This starts me laughing even harder than before and now there really IS shit everywhere,
"Faaark"
I sigh leaning back in my chair
"You'll be back you weak cunt"
And you know it.
My mind and body are screaming at me to stop this...
But something a lot further up the food chain isn't having a bar of it
User Reviews
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-11-04 04:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 as I promised to all who gave same to me last week on my first post.
I'll put the +2 on you guys lowest rated post.
Some of you get two two's.
Tutus! haha
I won't do this on my next posts but I did promise.
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2005-10-23 15:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea, if we worked together, it would be pukified mayhem.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-10-23 10:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't think ij[ve ever actually LAUGHED in that situation, though the funny side has crossed my mind
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-10-22 14:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel your pain
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-10-22 14:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah.
Submitted by cleanfornow (user info) at 2005-10-22 13:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I am your boss, I walk you out the door with security. Then I search your desk...
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-10-22 13:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
huh?
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2005-10-22 12:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
faaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrkkkkkk
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-10-18 09:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-18 09:02:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
the responses for this pissed me off.
this is good
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Agreed.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-18 09:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the responses for this pissed me off.
this is good.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-09-28 04:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61609 (nsfw)
I wrote this when I was sick one day. Then my brain exploded.
I feel better now.
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-09-28 03:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sina,
E-X-T-R-A-C-T. (in the title)
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-09-27 09:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Is there a point, missedthepoint?
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-09-26 22:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-09-26 13:51:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
I used to know a bunch of fucking losers like you. Amyl is for complete morons.
That's a great life you've got, have fun sucking the health system dry because of your cowardly addiction and/or misconception of debauchery you fucking wannabe hack.
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I didn't ask you to asses my health fuckwit,
If you didn't like the writting thats fair enough.
Thanks for the constructive coments - now go stick your cock in a blender
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-09-26 20:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes and i stapled my finger--- hurts like a bitch.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-26 14:16:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by OnEdge (user info) at 2005-09-26 14:00:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Friday 8.15am (work)
The coke has worn off...
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Mistake number 1..err..probably more like number 561 or so, but anyway...
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-09-26 13:51:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I used to know a bunch of fucking losers like you. Amyl is for complete morons.
That's a great life you've got, have fun sucking the health system dry because of your cowardly addiction and/or misconception of debauchery you fucking wannabe hack.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-26 13:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tidy
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2005-09-26 12:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-26 12:10:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
or 'tuesday' as i like to call it.
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Oh, wow...
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-09-26 12:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you killed what could have been one hell of a bender by GOING TO WORK ON MONDAY?!
yeah. zero for you, buddy.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-26 12:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
or 'tuesday' as i like to call it.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-09-26 12:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm thinking you should have taken a sick day.