The Hobbits Strike Back (563 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: -0.75 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DiggityDarth <Smeagol.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-27 20:12:59 EDT
Captain Drogo crept along the bank the Brandywine, his hobbit comrades following him closely. To his company, he was an enigma. His past he kept shrouded from the soldiers. "Oh, that Drogo! He's from the southfarthing, indeed lad. I've seen him smoking longbottom me self!" Yes, his origins were a popular topic of conversation, during breakfast, elevensies, lunch, dinner and any snacks in between.
But these hobbits weren't here to socialize. They left their mugs and merry making back home, and marched off to war with grenades and guns. And lots of them. Great machine guns breathing steam, rifles and small arms, and hand grenades packed with enough mithril shrapnel to tear through a platoon of Mordor's greatest orcs.
The Captain was glad to be back on the field. Two tours of paper work would seem like heaven to any sensible hobbit, but Drogo was a Baggins through and through.
Every second he spent in Hobbiton he got weaker, every second the uruks spent in his Shire they got stronger.
The dark haired Baggins signaled for his squad to go prone. He too hugged the earth, it smelled burnt and putrid. Not even the fertile land of the Shire could withstand the third Dark lord's magic. His will was bent on twisting and decaying all of Middle-Earth. And his minions worked ceaselessly. Goblin engineers working round the clock, designing new machines of war, lumbering Trolls lifting beams of steel, erecting evil towers. And the legions of war mongering uruks. Always moving west.
For almost countless years, there was peace. But the people of Middle Earth never forgot the atrocities that took place during the second age. Regardless of whether or not the memories of Sauron stayed fresh, no one could anticipate the Dark Tower, Barad-Dur, rising again.
User Reviews
Submitted by OnEdge (user info) at 2005-09-28 14:00:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Get your history correct.
LOTR takes place in the Third Age, not the Second.
Duh.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-28 05:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yes
Submitted by Phate (user info) at 2005-09-28 03:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it was ok, but machine guns?
NO
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2005-09-27 20:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because I love hobbits.
and you.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-09-27 20:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I love LOTR, but honestly, why would you subject us to this tripe?
J.R.R. Tolkien, you are not
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2005-09-27 20:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goooo HOBBITS!!
Ho bbbbbbbbbb iiittttss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!