Little Ritual (831 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.36 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (View user info) at 2005-09-28 16:57:55 EDT
I have this funny little ritual before I go out on a date with a guy for the first time. I paint my toenails. Pre-date pedicures might not seem like much of a ritual, particularly for a witch whose repertoire consists of many other far more esoteric options...smudging with sage, calling the four quarters, drawing down the moon...but there's some magic in the deep reds or the bright pinks that I inevitably choose. I didn't set out to make this toenail painting thing into a habit, much less a ritual. It wasn't a concious choice. It crept up on me, as habits tend to do, and I finally realized that the pattern repeated itself with enough frequency to be worth thinking about.
At first I was sure that it was simply a matter of vanity, that when faced with the prospect of a romantic encounter I was depressingly concerned with meeting some kind of beauty ideal that includes red toenails. I never paint my toenails except for before dates. So it had to be about looking good for some godforesaken boy.
Later I noticed another weird behavior. I'd sink into the bathtub and notice the chipped polish from some forgotten evening and think, "Wow...has it been so long since I went out with that guy?" Or I'd be dragging a razor across my lathered legs and catch little pink specks winking up at me---"Aw, I was wearing that polish when he and I first went out!"
I know how shallow and silly this all sounds, but there's something deeper going on here than girlish squealing over boys gone by. I paint my toes to mark the time. Days, weeks (or in this case, nearly two months) later I look down and see the state of the polish. It bears witness to the passing of days, the fastening of new protein molecules together, the fact that the past and the present are always holding hands. It preserves something of that night. It reminds me that everything that started out clean and new and beautiful breaks down and flakes off over time. It also reminds me just how long remnants of something inconsequential can stick around. Memories and longing stick in my brain like nail laquer. Glossy. Durable. Quick-drying.
There's not too much left of the polish I put on that night when I went to meet my most recent beau for a glass of wine. It was clearly our 'first date' in an official sense, but I already suspected that something was weaving its magic between us. Then we weren't afraid to play, to jump into whatever it might be, to be a little love-drunk. Now we're in limbo. Now we're afraid. Now we're seeing that the ecstacy is purchased by the threat of an equal measure of pain. Half of our secrets confessed and half held tight to our chests. He's halfway around the country, halfway around the world, and I'm halfway convinced that I love him.
It's so heady, dizzying. Still, I've got my painted feet on the ground. I just look down at my toes and remember that yes, I was there. The polish witnessed every beautiful moment between us. As it breaks down and grows out things will change, but it doesn't mean that where we've been is any less real. After all, I've got the little decaying monuments to prove it, the little tips of this temple that I decorated in ritual celebration of the possibillity of love and the inevitabillity of change.
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-10-05 14:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
nice
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-09-29 09:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was so pretty :)
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-09-29 06:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Things always come around.
Don't overthink. Relationships don't bear it.
I'm moving but my cell works!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-29 04:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i always have a wank to stop me cumming in my jeans as soon as I see my date.
some of those fellas are H-O-T.
Submitted by Playboy (user info) at 2005-09-29 04:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell, most of us are happy if a girl just:
- shows up,
- has had a shower in the last day or so, and,
- wipes her arse crack properly
No need to spoil us love.
Submitted by FallenZer0 (user info) at 2005-09-28 19:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never had you pegged as a serial monogomist.
Figures.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We perform rituals in order to recreate the world as it was the very first time the ritual was performed--when it was not yet a ritual.
Submitted by moopadoopdoop (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
blah blah blah blah blah gimme a fuckin break. titty pix plz.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lovely.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I do the same thing, but with my toejam
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As a witch hunter I always make sure to keep a ring of salt around me at all times, along with sliver bullets, a curved knife for removing intestines and a bible, just for good measure.
You're getting the brunt of my horrible relationship with a wiccan girl.