I saw a retard get punched in the face today by her carer.. (1336 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.43 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Eggy <aaron_mcc23.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-28 17:02:20 EDT
I'd better fill you guys in on a little background information first. I work in a newsagents in Belfast, and thought I had seen it all until this afternoon. Every now and again, a disabled woman, around 25 years old, and her carer, also around 25 years old, call in and get their groceries. This is a 100% true story.
So anyway, I'd better get to the actual story. It was business as usual today, when they both called into the shop. I smiled and said hello like I do to every customer. They were looking around for a few minutes, when the carer approaches me.
"Hey, do you have any sour sweets? It's just that's her favourite, and I always treat her when I'm with her and buy her them."
"I'm afraid not," I replied, "I just sold the last packet maybe about 10 minutes ago, and there won't be any in until next monday." That was sort of a lie. As in, when faxing the sweet order, I accidentally deleted it while sending the fresh food order and didn't realise until that night I'd fucked up. Needless to say, I received a ballocking from my boss, Neill, about that.
When the retard hears this, the bottom lip starts to go. "But I love sour sweets, they're my favourite!"
The carer explains to her that there's none left and makes her pick something else. The head goes down and she becomes real quiet, quite obviously in a huff. She then reached out for a chocolate bar and hands it to me. I scanned it in and took her money. While giving her back her change, I dropped it in her hand, so I wouldn't have to touch it. I'm funny like that, I don't like touching repulsive people.
So they leave the shop, and I get back to reading "The Sun." I only ever really buy it for Dear Deidre (the problems page) - I love it, even though it's the same shit everyday - "I CHEETED ON MI HUSBAND, OMGZ WOT SHUD I DO?!?"
All of a sudden, I hear screaming and shouting. I really mean screaming and shouting, it made me jump and, wondering what it was, I looked out the window to investigate. Sure as hell, there was the retard and the carer. The carer is trying to calm the retard down, while the retard is screaming in her face. It seemd rather aggressive. Next thing I see is the carer's face get very mad.. The eyebrows go down, the nose goes up and her teeth are gritted and then she punches the retard in the face. Right in the nose. It was a beautiful shot, I'll admit.
The retard goes down like a pile of shit and is on the ground in disbelief. It took her a minute to realise she'd been punched and when she did realise, she started crying. She made twice as much noise crying as she did shouting. The whole street could hear it. The carer turns around and walks back into the shop and demands to use my phone. I, being the coward I am, immediately pointed to the back for her to use it. I didn't want to get socked in the nose too. It hurts. Since it was on the phone, I couldn't only hear one half of the conversation.
"Hey, I need you to come over to the Spar like now."
"Yeah well she started throwing a tantrum."
"Look just get the fuck down now and I'll explain the rest to you in person."
Then she hung up, and gave me a look of embarrassment on the way out.
Meanwhile the retard's still on the deck crying her eyes out, and the carer immediately goes over to her and starts hugging her. Obviously she is wooing her so she won't cry and she won't, hopefully, lose her job. So anyway, the crying turns into a whimper and she gets up when the lift arrives and they both get into the car and leave.
It's not every day you see something like that. It was one of those days I wish I had a video camera for three reasons.
1 - To immediately report the woman to the police.
2 - To send into Jeremy Beatle or the fat bint from "Emmerdale Farm", or whoever the fuck does "You've been framed" these days and collect £250.
3 - To invite a few mates over, crack open a few beers and have a hearty laugh over it.
4 - A secret fantasy I've always had is to make my "pwnt" picture or video clip. Alas, this would have been the perfect scenario.
So, if you couldn't be arsed reading the whole story.. The basic jist of it is that since I fucked up a confectionary order, a retard got punched in the face.
User Reviews
Submitted by DrKlepto (user info) at 2006-03-01 06:57:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right Eggy, guess who this is?
+2 because I hate that retard and her carer.
Submitted by yuvalset (user info) at 2005-11-27 17:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow... a post written by a real person... i need to get a drink
Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2005-11-27 16:55:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-09-28 21:26:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny. This site needs more foreigners.
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Foreigners, you cocksucking bitch?
People in Belfast aren't foriegn *anywhere*, cos if you say so, we'll kill you.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-11-27 16:48:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 tard abuse
+1 Spar. think about it, you couldnt have worked in a better store for this scenario
Submitted by Required_Reading (user info) at 2005-11-27 16:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that woman is in the wrong line of work
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's four reasons.
+2!
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-09-29 07:44:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-09-29 06:32:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Secret British (isles) auto +2 pact
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-09-29 06:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Secret British (isles) auto +2 pact
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-29 06:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by XII (user info) at 2005-09-29 03:05:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
4 - A secret fantasy I've always had is to make my "pwnt" picture or video clip. Alas, this would have been the perfect scenario.
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what...like downe syndrowned
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I heard that girls with down syndrome are raging nymphos.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-09-29 06:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-09-29 06:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-29 03:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:19:41 (#)
Ranking: -1
proofread. This read like a bowl of shreddies. """
ignore her.
everyone else does.
Submitted by hooch4 (user info) at 2005-09-29 03:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate retards.
Submitted by XII (user info) at 2005-09-29 03:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
4 - A secret fantasy I've always had is to make my "pwnt" picture or video clip. Alas, this would have been the perfect scenario.
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what...like downe syndrowned
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-09-29 01:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AH !! Retard punching , that rules
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-09-28 23:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The retard goes down like a pile of shit and is on the ground in disbelief."
That line made me spit beer at the monitor. Outstanding.
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-09-28 21:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-09-28 21:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny. This site needs more foreigners.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-09-28 21:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes, this is a true story. And I am Napoleon Bonaparte. . .
No wait. . . I'm the queen of England. . .No wait. . .
Submitted by PyroBeast (user info) at 2005-09-28 21:13:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-28 18:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shreddies are cereal, Thanatos...
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Entertainment factor
Submitted by moopadoopdoop (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
anything with punching retards = +2 in my book
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:19:41 (#)
Ranking: -1
proofread. This read like a bowl of shreddies.
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When I read the title I thought this was going to be a story about the workplace, and you were just a retard who couldn't spell career. Over here in the USA we call them 'caregivers'. Makes a bit more sense to me at least.
And what the fuck are shreddies?
Crazy UK with its slang.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
proofread. This read like a bowl of shreddies.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-28 17:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why not post the video?
This post sucked.
But you get the "I'm Irish too Auto +2"