I'm Next (929 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.45 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by >Malachewaii< (View user info) at 2005-10-01 20:11:27 EDT
Aunt Claire looked so peaceful, as if she were merely sleeping. I know that's what everyone says when asked, "How did she look?" Yet in this case, it truly seemed to fit. Of course, no one wanted to focus on the fact that we'd never see her again. Every person who knew Aunt Claire loved her immensely. As my mind pulled to the surface an old memory of looking through photo albums, I felt a light hand on my shoulder. Mom.
As I turned to look away, mom leaned in and whispered in my ear "She loved you so much. She always told me how much she enjoyed your visits. You made her feel alive again when you two would talk of old times when she was a child."
"Thanks, Mom. I know. I can't believe she's gone, yet at the same time, it somehow feels like it was truly her time. I mean, how many people can live to 89 and say there's still so much they missed? I noticed, that although she was a strong woman, every since Uncle John died, she had seemed to secretly embrace death. It wasn't that she wanted to die, but she wouldn't complain if she did, because it would've reunited her with Uncle John. I could always tell how much she missed him.
"Everyone please be seated, while Father Michael says the prayer." I looked around, unable to match the voice I just heard with a face. "Weird." I thought. The rest of the proceedings passed like a blur, and before I knew it, we were driving back to her house to attend the reading of her will.
This is the part I hate the most. Everyone is sitting quietly, acting so innocent and polite, as if their previous misdeeds and family shames are forgotten in the midst of death. Everyone sits around, acting as if the money and heirlooms and gifts they receive would be immediately cast aside in trade to have Aunt Claire again. Everyone acts so honored and surprised at the priceless memories and trinkets they receive as a last effort to be remembered in the hearts and minds of those still lucky enough to be alive. It's all bullshit. Fucking hypocrites.
I can see right through you bastards. Not one of you deserve the gifts you're being given. Not one of you can possibly know the true importance behind the things you hold. None of you were ever around during Aunt Claire's life, and now in her death you all flock around like vultures waiting for your reward. Rewards you bastards don't deserve.
I know what has to be done. Things have to be set right. It's not right that these people are taking advantage of Aunt Claire's generosity. I look around the room, and I count eight people, including myself. There's Mom, Dad, my brother, Aunt Claire's two children: Steve and Ross; her brother Herb, and the Probate Lawyer.
"God, everybody.. I'm so sorry, I really am" I whisper. I pull my Glock .40 from the holster, and silently move to the corner of the room. I reach into the hallway and pull the door shut. "Click". The sound makes Steve turn and give me a dirty look.
"You're first." I think to myself as I raise the gun and squeeze the trigger. Everyone is screaming now, as Ross is staring at Steve in horror. After shooting Ross, everyone else in the room is ducking under furniture and crying uncontrollably. "Yeah, now you cry." I think to myself. I see the lawyer reaching for his cell phone, and immediately put two bullets in him, one in the chest, the other in the head. "It's not a cure, but it sure is a good start!" I laugh to myself.
My parents try talking some reason into me. They keep asking me why I am doing this, asking me if I've gone crazy. No, I'm not crazy. I'm the only sane person here. My brother and Herb are crouching under the table. Herb's knuckles are white with the grip he has on the table leg. I almost feel as if I'm doing him a favor. Two seconds and one bullet later, Herb is off the list. I look down at my older brother.
"This is for stealing my girlfriend from me, and always picking on me and my friends when we were children." I punctuate my sentence with a bullet in his forehead. I can hear my parents, crouched in the corner. My dad keeps reassuring my mom, telling her everything will be ok. Thanks, Dad. You always knew what to say. Telling her everything will be o.k. makes this a little easier. I close my eyes as I fire, unable to look into their eyes as they die. Strange to realize my life starting because of them, and their life ending because of me.
As the ringing in my ears subsides, I can hear the sirens now, and the screeching of the tires as the police close in on the building. Taking a quick gauge of what I'm against, I can already count eight cars in the street in front of me. I'm fucked. There's no way I'm getting out of this. I open the door, and I can hear the cop's voice, as if he's yelling at me from far away. He wants me to put down my gun, and show him my hands.
No. I have a better idea, officer. Two words play over and over in my mind as I raise my gun towards the police. I'm Next.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-10-03 11:47:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:38:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But why?
And some of the dialogue didn't work for me.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-10-03 01:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't satisfied with the main character's reason for killing everyone. He was being awfully selfish for someone who just accused his entire family of being selfish. Not a bad read, but your protagonist just seemed like a whiny bitch.
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-10-02 21:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-10-02 12:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Now that I'm rested, I was able to read this with a clear mind.
I enjoyed it, but I didn't really agree with the character's explicit explanations for killing everyone. "You stole my sister," "you weren't good parents," etc...I dunno, something in the delivery didn't completely strike me.
But I've been digging this sort of story of late nonetheless.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-10-02 04:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
cool
Submitted by Malachewaii (user info) at 2005-10-02 04:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Time for work. Damn. I'll check the post later..
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-02 04:26:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Malachewaii (user info) at 2005-10-01 21:02:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
son of a bitch.. not one rating.
*******
Hey! Fuck them! It's their loss
By the way......very nice.
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-10-01 23:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-01 21:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's pretty fucking sad that that little punk d-prime puts on a better show than the Ubermadness committee.
On second thought, it's not sad at all. It makes perfect sense.
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-10-01 21:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Disturbing but cool
Submitted by Malachewaii (user info) at 2005-10-01 21:02:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
son of a bitch.. not one rating.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-10-01 20:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment