What to do about the American Problem? A POEM (1258 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.02 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <alas_me.at.hotmail.co.uk> (View user info) at 2005-10-02 11:34:52 EDT
As an Englishman living and working in the USA, for the past few months has been hell for me. I spent most of my time fantasising about carrying a gun, carrying a gun and using it. Bringing an army of evil skinheads from Leeds to make a mess in American small towns. Torching houses, killing their children, killing their old grannies and disabled mothers - We must in Europe take revenge for this stinking, cultural world assault. In my anger I found myself writing a poem. One day Jesus will help me make it come true:
Americans, Americans, line them all up.
Use gas, fire or bullets no one cares.
Just make sure they are dead.
Then bring me some lime to rot them away.
Oh lord, oh lord that would be a happy day!
Americans, Americans, bring them all down.
Burn them in their houses, no one cares.
Just make sure they are all rotting.
Then ill get out my penis and sex touch their corpses.
Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus, that would be a happy day.
Americans, Americans, black and white I don't care.
Young or old - no one cares.
Just make sure they are bleeding.
Then ill empty my bowels in the wound.
Oh Oh Mohammed, oh Mohammed, that would be a happy day.
Americans, Americans, I fill up my gun.
Fill their hearts with bullets - no one cares.
Just make sure it hurts.
Then ill empty my other gun to make sure.
St Peter, St Peter, that would be a happy day.
Hitler, oh Hitler, where are you now?
We need your gas, and bombs - if you really care?
We want total annihilation and nothing less.
Then we can relax.
Relax with a beer and a British film.
User Reviews
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-10-04 07:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry, you don't even get the secret Brit auto +2.
>shakes head sadly<
Submitted by Magickmuse (user info) at 2005-10-04 01:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God Bless you and your fucked up dad in the diaper.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-10-03 15:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck you, nigger
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-10-03 14:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuckin WEAK man. superbly mondo BOSH.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-03 14:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never said I specifically hate America did I?
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-10-03 14:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.vexen.co.uk/USA/hateamerica.html
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-03 13:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
As an Englishman living and working in the USA, for the past few months has been hell for me.
---------------------------
Good.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-10-03 12:38:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by HighFructoseCornSyrup (user info) at 2005-10-03 12:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahah
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-03 12:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I admit im an alter im an alter of the banned Flarn-Dorfar, though this time im going to behave. Though there has to be a conduit for my immense talents somewhere.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-03 11:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Har Har
You moved country and failed to find happiness.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-10-03 11:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think I can actually see your lobotomy scar in that picture.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yesterday this wasn't worth logging in to give a -2. But today, I'm logged in anyway, so here.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-03 03:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shena
Submitted by ElmerFudd (user info) at 2005-10-03 03:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
poetry sucks.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-03 00:28:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-10-02 21:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-02 12:10:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
You're an ass eater.
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I think this pretty much covers it.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-10-02 21:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If this was serious, go fuck yourself.
If you were trying to be funny ..it didn't work.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-10-02 21:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm tempted to +2 this just because you add strength to the Australian republican movement.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-10-02 21:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
okay, quit with the fucking alters you losers
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-10-02 18:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darkspoon (user info) at 2005-10-02 18:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
your meter sucks
Submitted by smoke_in_my_lungs (user info) at 2005-10-02 16:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo. Fuck America and all it stands for.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-10-02 16:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just for you! http://www.ubersite.com/m/73837
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 15:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you have an excellent sens eof humour like myself, youll love this teenage american dirtbags spot popping response to my genius http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1128280709201326421
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 15:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe I will buy a gun then, do they ever have uber conventions!
Submitted by Auf-Der-Maur (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:29:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's called humour in England and it is far funnier. Why are you becoming obcesed by me? Have you nothing better to do, look im not homosexual and I dont like old disabled men - stop pestering me.
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Why do you keep projecting your problems onto others?
Submitted by Teuton (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ROFL! Jeez it's not like America attacked England or anything. LOL. C'mon over to my house so I can shove my .45 up your ass you worthless peice of shit.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Grammer." Typical.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course I can spell, this is such a standard and boring response. The reason why my spelling is awful is because im not bothered about my responses to you. I just type them carelessly and quickly. Treat you with the disdain you deserve. I can spell, I just cannot type fast. If I wanted to type id hire a typist. Now admit you are a homosexual, disabled, pathetic kiddie fiddler - and come back with seomthing cleverer than spelling and grammer nxt time. fnrf= ifr d[j f;krnw xcpovcg Muppet.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:31:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Learn to spell, punkboy British asshole.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's called humour in England and it is far funnier. Why are you becoming obcesed by me? Have you nothing better to do, look im not homosexual and I dont like old disabled men - stop pestering me.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1. You have no sense.
2. It's spelled "humor," you Limey punk.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Excellent, no stop following my sense of humour around and around my post and find your own elsewhere. Pathetic, little, sad, old, perveted man.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You wouldn't like the results. The pictures of you
and the sex with dead animals? Nope, you'd be gone. . .
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THat wasnt hard was it, now your admitting to things. Seriously though Bob you dirty old hippy pervert. Take your hard-drive to the police station.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Begging achieves nothing. It didn't work for your mother,
grandmother, or your sisters.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A shot of hot what? Not hot semen from you dep-heat riddled penis. please dont violate my young peachey underage ass. Im sorry I cannot spell so well. Doesnt mean you have to do to me what you did to your grandchildren. Bob, no bob, please dont....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sure, Asswipeface_me, back off and claim sarcasm when
your bullshit bluff is called, hotshot.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:04:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey there, Asshat_me, how long until this gets most heated?
I would recomend that you rub a tube of Deep Heat into your penis to prevent you from your daily round of assaults. Im so much younger with you, maybe im a teen too. Please dont touch me, you scare me. Im only young
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha ha, ha , I love this, I love you Scrapmetal or whatever your name is, im a joker and you rise to it, no sense of irony, no sense of humour, cannot see an intentional attempt to get a reaction - too busy watching your front door with your gun, just in case the negroes come for revenge. I love the way you waste your time replying to me.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey there, Asshat_me, how long until this gets most heated?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Clearly AllAss_Me is under the impression that Muslim-run governments actually harbor some intention of honoring any alliances made with non-Muslim governments. Here's a basic fact: To Osama Bin Laden, the only difference between a Brit and an American is that the American won't surrender. You go on and fill your cities with Muslims ready to strike at America, but don't be surprised where they practice their bombing first.
The average British citizen is defenseless in his home. The average American is not. We Americans take our freedom seriously because we wrested it from the hands of an already-outdated Monarchy. Brits take theirs for granted. Whatever happened to "The sun never sets on the British Empire"? Apathy, that's what. If you don't count the tiny Indian Ocean island of Diego Garcia (was he British, really?) the sun's off the British Empire pretty much 12 hours a day.
Better to be considered "The Great Satan" than "The Great Marshmallow" sez I.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 14:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course I do not think, my genius comes in streams of conciousness. If I was to think about it, it would be lost. Also I dont think what is on your hard-drive - I know what is on your hard-drive. For gods sake bob, your own grandchildren: What the hell where you thinkink? Seek help, please. Not for me, but for you and the children. They are the ones you hurt.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:55:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not a "punk" I am a genius, a creative talent beyond your perverted imaginantion. I think the images on your hard-drive actually show some of the sick things you do to minors. That is illegal - my poem is just freedom of Speech. Lock up your children for gods sake, Bobs about.
________________________________________________________
If you are a genius, all retarded children are Einsteins.
You say you think about what's on my drive? Wrong.
You don't think.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not a "punk" I am a genius, a creative talent beyond your perverted imaginantion. I think the images on your hard-drive actually show some of the sick things you do to minors. That is illegal - my poem is just freedom of Speech. Lock up your children for gods sake, Bobs about.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:47:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob Udell, a man far too old for ubersite, a man who touches children, hey little boy youve spelt that wrong, your language is wrong - now let me touch you because I am a filthy, nasty, dirty, old pervert. Wont be long before they come and collect your hard-drive.
___________________________________________
This from an idiot who advocates killing Americans in America.
Whose hard drive will they collect, asshole?
You young punks make me sick.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob Udell, a man far too old for ubersite, a man who touches children, hey little boy youve spelt that wrong, your language is wrong - now let me touch you because I am a filthy, nasty, dirty, old pervert. Wont be long before they come and collect your hard-drive.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:41:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes I am the immense talent behind Flarn-dorfar, what fun that was too - some people even fell for it. Anyhow you can all now get excited about my all new entertaining posts!
_____________________________________________________________---
You even have his typing and spelling skills. . .
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes I am the immense talent behind Flarn-dorfar, what fun that was too - some people even fell for it. Anyhow you can all now get excited about my all new entertaining posts!
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:38:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
flarn-dorfar!!!
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is poetry, every Englishman has the talent of Shakespere just below the surface. Awww you poor Americans, peeing your nappies when you are so close to death. Dont worry it realy wont hurt. Also dont question the potential of the British Army - well known for being the best in the world. All we need is Chinese and Russian backing and our cinemas will have great films again.
Submitted by olivia_tremor_control (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this... isnt poetry...
Americans, Americans, line them all up.
Use gas, fire or bullets no one cares.
that means that no englishmen use gas, fire, or bullets? maybe you shouldnt so there can be more for us
Submitted by Boondock (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you, you rotten limey cocksucker. I suggest you get your pompous, tea drinking ass back across the pond if you don't like it here. GET THE FUCK OUT LIMEY BASTARD!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 13:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What he really meant:
_________________
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 12:40:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
We British are currently filling our cities with dogshit; we will make
an alliance with the fools world for the oil the Russians are trying to
steal from Iran. It won't be long before America whips the shit out of
us and we become a nuclear desert - praise Muhammed Ali.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-10-02 12:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ah shaddap ya limey cunt.
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-02 12:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The British are currently filling our cities with Muslims, we will make an alliance with the Islamic world for the oil, the Russians are already doing this behind the scenes aligning themselves with Iran. It wont be long before America has no pockets, until it is a nuclear desert - praise Allah.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-10-02 12:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
England? Hmmmm.
Where is that state located again?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-10-02 12:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The beauty of the internet is that every opinion may be aired. Kind of like America, or at least to a much greater extent like America than like Britain, Europe, or the rest of the planet for that matter.
As an American who has spent a fair bit of time in Britain and British 'colonies', I'll say you can have your staggering unemployment, socialized second-rate medicine and legal equality with all the other 'British Subjects' such as chickens and pigs.
But really, we Americans don't need to worry about British aggression. We've had Britain in our pocket for over 100 years. You will continue to do what we tell you to.
And to answer your question, Hitler is where we put him, because you weren't up to the task.
Submitted by Auf-Der-Maur (user info) at 2005-10-02 12:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Just try it, it will only give us an excuse to bomb your sorry asses flat
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-02 12:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're an ass eater.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-10-02 11:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funnyasfuck
But please bear in mind that a lot of good has come out of the colonies......like bongwater butt babes and cheese in a can.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-02 11:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go home, dipshit. Your poetry sucks, as do you.