Systematic Deconstruction of My Inward Understanding Part3 (415 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.5 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Da MagnificAnt Dyldo <lordofduct.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-10-03 06:35:59 EDT
Part 1 : http://www.ubersite.com/m/76102
Part 2 : http://www.ubersite.com/m/76264
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A man hung himself once.
Another affixiated himself in a car.
A child jumped from a tree.
Another did it in his sleep.
A woman tried to shoot herself.
Now I have a hole in my bedroom wall...
My earliest memory is a woman laying bloody on the ground. An imprint of her body in the wall.
My next memory is of water.
His father found him there.
He was the father of the father.
And people laughed at his family.
And I don't remember.
Was a sloven drunk.
And I no longer can live there.
In second grade I would dream of dieing. I no longer do that. Now it's dreams of my family dieing.
What do you do when a nightmare comes true?
I do not allow guns in my house. I have made this evident on more then one occasion. I told a friend of mine on repeated occasions, but he ignored repeatedly. He came to my house one night and he noticed he had forgotten to leave his gun in his car. He pulled it out and appologized profusely to me. I took the gun from his hand and smashed him in the face with it. I kicked him in the ass and thru him out of the house. I held the gun and gave it to his sister to return to the rightful owner.
I saw him several times after that. He always asked if he was allowed over again. I told him no. One evening he came to my door with some friends and requested entry. I bargained him with a duel. Moments later with a bloody lip and bruised eye I allowed him in my house. He could hardly talk now, but he knew better then to ever bring a gun in my house.
He is getting his leg amputated...
User Reviews
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was always wondering why people were +2ing it in the first place.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:29:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm taking the plus two away, it was never my intention to give this more than a 0.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TRIPLE POST... just had too.
annoying fact #314: I haven't masturbated for several months now. I think I will today.
stupid fact #469: I hate it when people spell masturbate incorrect. i.e. masterbate
irrelevant fact #634: I haven't slept in 2 days.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:14:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck it. I'll just come out with it. I may be ambarassed of it, but then from everything I've already said on Uber, what do I have to be ambarassed of? All you fuckers live half way around the planet anyways.
I have a problem in my writing where I think I am saying something the reader understands, but they actually don't. So I decided to write quick strange demented stories that really have no explanation and see how irritating it is for the reader to try and get what exactly everything means.
This one was a stanza recognition. What line connected with what. Nothing of high skill, just basics. I really have to work on my explaining what needs to be explained and not over explaining what doesn't.
i.e. this comment right here.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty is kinda getting it.
I'm not really going for art here. nor am I attempting to draw you as a reader. Like I said I am trying something and you all probably won't get it. I really don't care either way.
I'm probably gonna lay this one down for a couple weeks now. I need to work on my actual writing. Practice up a bit and get better.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
y@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@WN
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-03 08:07:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Or to sum up Berty's comment:
This is complete and utter shit.
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Now that's not entirely true. I was very tired this morning and just wanted to write something about common, pubescent, girls underwear. I for one would like to praise experimentation and exploration of one's own desires and potential. Whether that be in sexual, creative or personal form. I may not like what you create but then again there are people out there that think I shouldn't create other people simply because of my bipedal disdvantage.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty,
Will you please marry me? I'm emotionally unstable and I have low self esteem and that's the LEAST of it. How can you say no?
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I can't. Nor do I need to, you've got that bloke with the cool accent to give you the love you deserve.
Don't worry about me though, I'll always have that picture of your tits you posted.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-03 08:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you just widened this, make a paragraph or two about each little point you could have something decent here.
or not, but at least you could give it a shot.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-10-03 08:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-03 07:09:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
The end result being somewhat akin to watching a poor and homely 16 year old girl remove her dirty knickers, complete with sanitary towel, in an allyway.
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Berty,
Will you please marry me? I'm emotionally unstable and I have low self esteem and that's the LEAST of it. How can you say no?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-03 08:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Or to sum up Berty's comment:
This is complete and utter shit.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-10-03 08:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
cool poem
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-03 07:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*idly scratches back of head*
Well man I'll give it the Mr. Chips treatment and just say what I see. As far as I can make out what we've got here is a variety of shocking nibbles strung together with a loose plot thread. The end result being somewhat akin to watching a poor and homely 16 year old girl remove her dirty knickers, complete with sanitary towel, in an allyway. The whole experience left me feeling decreased as a person and made me want to go outside and give one of the local perps a hug.
I won't though because they all dress at Matalan.
Seriously though, I thought it was just a conveyer belt of shocks without any real artistic or intelectual merit. I'm suffering from the mondays though so my opinon isn't worth much.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2005-10-03 07:08:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who are these idiots putting team records on the uberboard? Bengals are 4-0??!?!?! Longhorns are #2?!?!? Why not just light your dollars on fire and shove them in your assholes.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-03 06:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It is just something I am trying out. It most likely will fail like everything, but everything is worth a try.
Oh and it isn't word salad.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-03 06:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry man, can you give a brother a hand? I don't get this at all. Is it like a stream of consiousness thingy? I mean, is this your own thoughts put on the page?
Or is it just word salad? Little help?