New Nigerian Scam- Yahoo Personals (4268 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.49 on 68 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Insanethemind (View user info) at 2005-10-03 09:08:05 EDT
I guess I should have seen it coming. I send a message to an outrageously hot girl I see on a personals website, give her my email address and this is what I get. I had better send her plenty of money so she can get out of the hospital there in Nigeria. (By the way, her personals listing was Thomasville, Georgia, which incidentally, is a very small town near the Florida line which I doubt someone of normal flair in Nigeria would have thought to put as their home city. Obviously this Nigerian is smooth, very smooth.)
Her email address is tiffbabe4life@ etc etc Of course, that didn't seem out of the ordinary.
This is what she writes to me, I have left it intact
------------------------------------------------
Hello dear,
thanks for showing interest in me,My name is Tiffany,i will like to tell you more about my self......starting from my family background.....my dads was a native american......while my mum was a Nigerian.......my dad and my mum was happy married with a kid,that is i am the only child.....What i like to do?....i like swimming,skating,and hanging out......,i dislike noisy environments and when one cheat on me......,the sadest day in my life was when my dad died in the world trade centre bomb explosion,that was my sadest day,i have a degree in theatre arts......but i had my education in the uk , i went to bedford high school , then i proceeded to the famous De montfort university ,leceister uk , well my education was truncated after the death of my dad.While i was in the state with mum after some months when dad died.....we received a message from her home town in Africa.....that her parents were killed by assacins,she quickly had to go back to africa and which I did follow her......i write in pains cos life i believe is a mysery.....life is really full heatred......when i and mum got to africa....mum did all necessary arrangement....and she buried her parents......so we decided to stay in Africa for some weeks.......One day mum told me that we should visit the museum here and have fun,on our way back we had a terrible accident,that i was unconcious for months.......when i was able to wake up and see that i was in the hospital.....the doctor said i should give thanks to God that he did not expect that i could survive....then i glorified God for his mercy on me......And i went and ask the doctor that where is my mum and he told me that he is sorry that they lost her,that she died immediately.....I wept and wept,i fill like committing suicidal,cos i dont have anyone i knew here in Africa....All my passport and my jeweries i could not get it cos the doctor said i was rushed in here and that they didnt bring any of my documents along....
Sometimes i tend to question God that why was i ever created into this wicked world....Now i live in the hospital cos the doctor was kind,and yet i need to pay my hospital bills and get my passport so that i could get back to the state and start a new life......Since i already registered for yahoo personals before coming to Africa....i decided to plead to the doctor is please get me an internet service so that i could meet one that could be the flesh of my flesh and the bone of my bone......please i will like you to please tell me a little about yourself........Cos i want a guy that wont let me down and that will always stay by me and that will feel that space that is empty inside of me.........
Hope to hear from you soon...
Tiffany............................................
User Reviews
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best always.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-05-03 10:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"famous De montfort university ,leceister uk"
haha, the famous De Montfort university
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-05-03 10:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he looks dead to me http://www.ubersite.com/m/81873#1767707
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-05-03 10:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he's not dead he's just faking
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-05-03 10:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he's dead
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-05-03 09:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude that's hilarious come back to Uber.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-12-12 04:02:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:(
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2006-10-22 04:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i feel your pain dude, i had a girl from russia catch me on cupid.com few years ago... its funny cause she was posted as being from like 20 miles from me in the ad.... and she like wrote me this huuuuge email and it made us laugh because everytime she wrote the word "internet" it was all lke in capitals... so its like "i like viewing on the INTERNET, it is fun" when you read it out loud, it sounds like she has tourettes... we got a kick out of it....
i think i have it on one of my old computers, ill hafta look for it.
crazy russian mail order brides
i ended up ignoring her.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2006-10-22 04:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rest in peace, you mad, mad, person.
"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace things, but burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes "AWWW!"
- Jack Kerouac
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-19 01:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm bored and not sleeping and rereading and rating all my old posts and wanted to say hi to you but I can't..you were always so kind to me. :( Miss you.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-16 00:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're like the Vincent van Gogh of Ubersite.
Genius guy, but couldn't put up with this lousy world and ended it all.
We'll be missing you, dude.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2006-09-01 00:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure you would have bitched at me until I rated this post like the whore you are.
Asshole.
I miss you.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-07-25 00:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
faggot
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-24 23:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never realized that Required Reading was ITM.
That's fucking wild.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-06-01 12:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Required_Reading (user info) at 2005-12-15 14:23:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
that one girl,
I happen to have on good authority the fact that insanethemind takes it up the chuff and is too ashamed with himself to live, not to mention post on ubersite.
RIP insanethemind, you silly faggot 5/2003 - 10/2005
Nevermind the bollocks... """
spooky.
rr was itm.
RIP Michael.
Nevermind the bollocks.....
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-05-05 16:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How fucked-up is it that we all came to his last post to say goodbye?
Flights of angels carry thee.
Sleep well.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-02-23 18:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Confiteor deo omnipotenti
Beatae Mariae semper virgini
Beato Michaeali Archangelo
Sanctis apostolis omnibus sanctis
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
RIP man. damn.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-01-05 13:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ahh shit. I don't know what to say.
Michael, you came to Uber not long after me and.... damn... we've talked man.
I'm shocked. Really.
Be partying up there for me in Uberland. I'll catch up with you there later on dude.
(And NO I'm still not going to +2 you, ha!)
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-04 20:38:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
his user ID is 1111 and his avg rating is 1.11 as of the time i just rated this
how weird is that.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-01-04 15:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rest in peace brother.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-01-04 14:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey caul, do you feel bad -2'ing him now that he's pushing up daisies?
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-01-04 14:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
A
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-01-04 14:37:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-04 14:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2006-01-04 13:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
RIP motherfucker ... see you when I get there.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rest in peace Michael.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-01-04 09:13:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
R.I.P. Michael - fuck some angels for me.
Submitted by Required_Reading (user info) at 2005-12-20 01:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
quite right dear apollo, quite right.
many were the days he would send me photos of himself sans clothing, shit smeared all over his face.
apparently, he was introduced to the wild world of scat by none other than that dispicable charlatan, shandythedog, aka STD aka Javid D.
comments, dark prince?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-15 14:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he also had a taste for scat.
quite the dirty little fellow he was.
Submitted by Required_Reading (user info) at 2005-12-15 14:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that one girl,
I happen to have on good authority the fact that insanethemind takes it up the chuff and is too ashamed with himself to live, not to mention post on ubersite.
RIP insanethemind, you silly faggot 5/2003 - 10/2005
Nevermind the bollocks...
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
where is insanethemind?
people keep disappearing
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-06 03:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-05 16:48:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
Caulaincourt is a fucking happening guy it seems. I'd LOVe to spend a weekend with charisma like that """
retaliatory +2
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-10-05 21:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now, now boys, play nicely.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-10-05 17:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meet her and beat her. Everyone knows that Bedford High has a "No Wog" policy.
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/Images/msn.jpg
Reckon I'd get arrested if I faked a MySpace page, pretending to be some fit chick and had donation buttons for some shitty pics I've robbed off any old porn site?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-05 17:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please, send me more I might need help with this issue!"""
Obviously. You do realize that some country euthanize the mentally deficient, do you?
If I were you I'd thank God people let me live and know my place.
Now shut the fuck up sicko.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-05 17:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I saw a shrink once. His conclusion is that there were nothing wrong with me and that I was obviously meeting him so I could miss math class in high school.
I'm sorry that I'm normal :-(
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-05 17:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
<whistle>
Phew, that's good information to have, thanks. Please, send me more I might need help with this issue!
While you are at it, look up some information on compulsions and pathology, specifically compulsive dishonesty in the form of self- aggrandization... it might send you on your way to figuring yourself out.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-05 17:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A reminder of what you are, next time you wanna argue:
http://health.yahoo.com/ency/healthwise/hw148751/ty1058
Symptoms
Bipolar disorder causes extreme mood swings, from feeling overly energetic (mania) to feeling very sad or having low energy (depression). 3
Mania may cause a person to:
Feel extremely happy or very irritable.
Have a very high opinion of him- or herself (inflated self-esteem).
Not need as much sleep as usual (may feel rested after 3 hours of sleep).
Talk more than usual.
Be more active than usual.
Have difficulty concentrating due to having too many thoughts at once (racing thoughts).
Be easily distracted by sights and sounds.
Act impulsively or do reckless things, such as go on shopping sprees, drive recklessly, get into foolish business ventures, or have frequent, indiscriminate, or unsafe sex.
Depression may cause a person to:
Feel sad or anxious for a significant time.
Feel hopeless or pessimistic.
Have slowed thoughts and speech due to low energy.
Have difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions.
Have changes in eating and sleeping habits leading to too much or too little eating or sleeping.
Have decreased interest in usual activities, including sex.
Have suicidal thoughts.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-05 17:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I harassed you?
All I see is you following me around and droping your inane comments about how I'm an hypocrite because you're an angry bipolar retard.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-05 16:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hipporapist (caulaincourt) so would you like my home telephone number or something so you can call me and harass me more personally?
I get the point already, genius. I am a moron and i suck and I am a fat american.
You are god. I worship you.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-10-05 13:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oops, i see you already did.
excuse me, i'm blind
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-10-05 13:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well she does have quite the imagination..
And if you really are going to send that reply, you HAVE to add some clever pun about "bone of my bone"... she was practically asking for it!
Submitted by HippoRapist (user info) at 2005-10-04 18:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you suck
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-10-04 06:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Awesome.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-03 19:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whether you're my brother or whether you're my love
WE'RE STAYIN' ALIVE!
I'M GOIN' NOWHERE SOMEBODY HELP ME
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-03 18:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GODDAMNT RIGHT THIS IS WORTH A PLUS 2!!
too bad i didnt come up with it and it just fell upon my lap
worship the god that is nigeria all of ubersite
Submitted by pizdets (user info) at 2005-10-03 18:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-03 17:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goddamnit.
I would like to break a hammer head off in someones asshole right now
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-10-03 17:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"that will feel that space that is empty inside of me........."
Wear rubber gloves.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-03 16:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:14:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear Tiffany Gurl:
What a sad story! Please give me your bank account, credit card and social security numbers RIGHT AWAY and I will immediately wire you 100,000 USD. From that 100,000 dollars you may withdraw 80,000 for your personal use while I only ask that I have access to 20,000 for funding my crippled parents move out of the country.
The banks and government here are so corrupt, so I am sure you will understand.
Bone of your bone
M
------
yes!
As a kicker, send $1500 in Monopoly money as a 'good-faith' deposit...
Submitted by Curly (user info) at 2005-10-03 15:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"life is really full heatred"
That's deep.....
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2005-10-03 11:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds like altavista translator.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-10-03 11:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's with all the ".................."???
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This definitely has a nice flair to it, but too over the top to be believable. I especially like how her dad was killed in the WTC even though her registered address is Georgia. Nice touch that she has lost both of her parents and living off of lemon jello in the hospital.
all that education and too clueless to go to the US Embassy
At least s/he isn't claiming to come from royalty.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure what to make of this, but +2 for "bone of my bone"
I've used this line many times...
...on horses.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
por que no?
I shall pack my union jack boxer shorts, wellies and leech kit and command the nearest aeroplane commander to transport me there immediately.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-10-03 10:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit...send the guy $10 for the creativity alone. It would probably double his/her annual income.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All good my wigga.
I have to go to work now, but I think I shall resign amidst a shitstorm of sexual harassment allegations, demand a huge severance package for my silence and if denied become a whistleblower/ plaintiff in a huge defamation of charactor suit ergo padding my bank account with huge sums of cash and spend it all on a trip to Buenos Aires.
Wanna come with?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:42:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I have always fondly thought of you as insane but not MAD per se.
Madness and insanity I like to think are different, but then I am a mo-nothing tool fool so how the knickers would I know?
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAH HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course, I meant your.
You see, I have a terrible affliction that causes this to happen now and again.
Could you please send me $10,000 USD to have it corrected?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:28:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually holly, I was just looking for some HOT SEX, no strings attached but since you mention it will you be my e- romance? I promise I am not a cad and I won't just sex you and kick you out post coitus
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your response is hilarious.
Also, don't worry. You're perfect internet lover will come along soon enough.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GONE mad? Heavens no!
What kind of question is that? I have been mad for quite some time now you insensitive asshole
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you gone mad?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear Tiffany Gurl:
What a sad story! Please give me your bank account, credit card and social security numbers RIGHT AWAY and I will immediately wire you 100,000 USD. From that 100,000 dollars you may withdraw 80,000 for your personal use while I only ask that I have access to 20,000 for funding my crippled parents move out of the country.
The banks and government here are so corrupt, so I am sure you will understand.
Bone of your bone
M
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-03 09:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha @ "bone of my bone"