Denial of Self (2466 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.74 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Joedaddy (View user info) at 2005-10-04 23:35:16 EDT
The deck of the Huey was completely covered with spent shell casings. Rivers of blood, all with different hues, swirled back and forth between the spent ammunition and bodies. As two barely able men jumped inside, to help load the never-ending stream of causalities, one of them slipped and was propelled out the opposite opening.
The flavoring of recently digested foods intensified the metallic smell of the blood.
Damaged kidneys reeked of alcohol and collapsed lungs brought a stench of cigarettes just smoked.
An exposed liver brought forth a distinctive aroma from a particularly savage burn.
The contents of broken bowels and bladders added to the olfactory bouquet of the dying men inside. You could even smell the coffee or tea each one of them had drunk that very morning.
Bright arterial blood, red like raspberry juice, mixed with the bacteria in the feces and seemed to cover every last square inch of the cramped compartment.
The smell of digested meat, partially fermented fruit and vegetables helped foul the air.
Pieces of this same food stuck to the arms and legs of the dead, soon to be dead and the barely living.
Everything blended with the gas from a leaking fuel bladder and each and every jerk on the collective by the half blinded Air Cav pilot helped stir the pot.
The dead were lying in this terrible broth and the injured were swimming in it.
The sheer volume was so great that it poured out both sides of the slick as if someone was shaking a loose bathtub.
As it was hit by the prop wash, it looked as though someone had cut a rainbow to pieces and pocketed half the spectrum.
The one remaining door gunner, still alive, had cerebrospinal fluid smeared on his khakis as he poured round after round of 50 cal slugs into the paddy below. From a gun long ripped off its mounts he laid crumpled, one arm useless, among the moaning, crying and inert warriors in the iniquitous belly of the beast.
He realized he was the only person who could save all of us from total annihilation.
It was the only solution, a clear solution, so he got up and gave himself freely.
He kept firing with the red-hot barrel resting on what little was left of another soldier. One blood-soaked belt after another, fed to him by yet another warrior who was just too busy or stubborn to die.
Screams of revenge, prayer and protection echoed off the thin sheet metal of the fuselage.
Next to the doorway one severely wounded Ranger disregarded his own blinding pain,
crawled over to his buddy and reached into his pocket. Out of his cammos he took two styrettes, originally dedicated for him, and plunged both into his injured partner's thigh.
Denial of Self:
Altruistic behavior or action that results in personal death on behalf of another.
Extraordinary feats based on the submergence of pain.
User Reviews
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-07 23:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What did he give his buddy? Painkiller?
This was an amazing read and it made me feel as if I were in the middle of it. This is the mark of the best writers, they paint pictures in our minds with words.
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-24 19:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Arizhel (user info) at 2006-10-07 01:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very -very- realistic imagery.
That's some crazy shit there.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-10-06 21:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bundaberg (user info) at 2006-05-28 09:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-01-29 22:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very gory
But I liked it
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2006-01-12 06:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man ,that is Drama tic.good though.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-01-07 20:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
grimy
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2005-12-26 16:30:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have seen some pretty raw stuff out there, but nothing this harsh. Thank God
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:01:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
my best 'story' is about this
\\\\\
i wish you would tell it already, you bastard...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-12-20 17:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yuppers - that's me. Are you stalking me? where do you live now?
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Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-20 17:45:25 (#)
Ranking: 1
i remember you...you're the one who lives in Hayward, kinda near my family's old farm on
Washington St
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-18 19:44:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
smells like....victory!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-12 11:36:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-11-12 11:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rockin'
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-12 11:13:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-11-10 15:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78600#1687158
Seriously man, tell me you're joking. Tell me you're not that retarded.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-21 12:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JoeDaddy I am really sorry- life has overtaken uber these past couple of weeks and I haven't been able to write my DPrime madness entry, so you win by foefit because I have to leave to get a plane to cyprus in 14 minutes.
cindy x
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-10-20 06:42:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
caption contest winner!
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2005-10-07 15:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to give this something lower because of the formatting. But, good post. It looks like you'll win. You did well despite hating the title for some reason or another.
I put an inside joke for you in my post. ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/76633 )
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-07 04:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kidding!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-07 04:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your computer is not a typewriter, quit treating it like one. The return key only has to be hit after paragraphs, not full sentences.
Other than that, this is complete shit. I hope you lose to the other guy.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-10-05 10:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is phenomenal.
Good to see you're still posting...that's one of the things I like about your writing...quality not quantity.
Submitted by CoffeeAndSmokes (user info) at 2005-10-05 08:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-05 08:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Joe this is an awesome scene you have laid out.
I would only +1 you because the format needs help, but the fucking story is too damn good.
Glad to see you writing (here) again.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-05 08:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
zoidberg, you're my buddy, but in my opinion, you are a bit off on this. joe has been there and seen that. to me it read just like a recollection (and it may very well be).
the imagery was powerful, and hit very close to home, joe. i had to step outside for a smoke to calm my shaking hands... i remember that kind of smell. goddamn it.
good to see you writing again.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-10-05 05:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmmm this time I took the time to read it.
Geez man, this is worse then *MY* fiction, and thats saying something.
Don't give up the day job
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-10-05 05:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
haha you're attempting to psychoanalyze someone over the internet
brilliant freud.
here, i wonder what randomly placed -2's will do to your psyche
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-05 04:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rushed and uninspired but then it is a personal taste thing.
you had a good title as well.
but again, denial of self is one of my hobby horses.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-10-05 02:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-10-05 00:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Honestly, this was good. I dont know why youre grabbing your ankles about it.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-10-05 00:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice job, sir. Has that ol' Coleslaw written his yet?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-10-04 23:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Powerful shit.
I make up stuff like that.
I get the feeling you may have seen it.
Formatting's a bitch, but... damn.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-04 23:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
as you can see i really disliked my title