I love you BIG FAT HAIRY BITCH (2042 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.88 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saxon (View user info) at 2005-10-06 20:46:45 EDT
Physical and mental disabilities are not funny subjects and I'm sure most sufferers just want to live a normal life and would want to be treated as normal human beings. It is a human reaction to feel pity for someone with an obvious disability and most times we can only guess the pain and anguish they feel.
I was asked at a party once, that if I had to be lumbered with an illness, disability or syndrome what would I choose?
Giving this some thought I decided on Tourette syndrome. After giving this more thought it occurred to me that this could even be a fun syndrome. Imagine turning up at work and your boss asking how you where.
"MOTHER FUCK CUNT BITCH I'm fine how are you".
Your boss being fully aware of your condition would just have to smile and say, "I'm fine to, so will we get that work completed today?"
"I think so MOTHERFUCKER DICK WANK"
Now work poses a problem because someone suffering this affliction couldn't deal with the general public, I mean could you imagine answering a telephone?
"Good morning Acme FUCK hardware CUNT store"
Being a salesman might be a little hard as well.
Customer: We like this bed does it come in other colours?
Salesman with Tourette's: Yes you can have BIG HAIRY ARSEHOLE wood grain, black or COCKSUCKER white.
Working a burger store wouldn't be good either.
"Would you like MOTHERFUCKER fries with your BIG HAIRY CUNT burger"
So I guess employment possibilities must be limited for someone suffering this affliction but with workplace reform as it is and discrimination laws you could say, have a bus driver with Tourette syndrome.
Imagine a little old lady climbing onto a bus and looking at the bus driver she asks, "Does this bus stop in the city?"
And the bus driver answering "The FUCK bus stops at central CUNT station and BUMFUCK 5th street".
It also must be hard for these people to have a relationship, imagine our poor Tourette's guy on a date at the restaurant.
Waiter: Would you like to order sir?
Tourette's guy: Id like a medium rare TIT NIPPLE steak with a SHIT salad and some HAIRYPUSSY fries and my lady would like the grilled chicken COCK with a PUBIC HAIR salad on the side.
I think intimate moments with his girlfriend might not be as romantic as he would like either. I can imagine him dropping his date home after a night out and after she tells him she had a good night he might answer.
Me too I like you BIG TITS very much, could I kiss you on the CUNT lips before I go.
But even worse imagine the first time his dates mother meets him.
Girlfriend: Mother this is Peter he has Tourette's.
Peter with Tourette's: Good evening SLUT it's nice to meet you BIG SAGGY TITS your daughter is a good FUCK person and I like her COCkSUCKER very much.
Now some deaf and even blind people have badges that they wear to inform people they come into contact with, about their disability. I have seen them saying things like "My name Is Carol and I'm deaf" this is a good idea and I was thinking it might be fun to have a badge made up that said "My name is Saxon and I suffer from Tourette's".
Imagine the fun you could have with this?
Id walk into a store with my chest stuck out making sure they saw and read the badge.
Storekeeper: Good afternoon sir how can I help you?
Saxon with Tourette's: Hello COCKSUCKER storekeeper I would like some bread MOTHERFUCKER and some chocolate PUSSY flavoured milk and some soft SHIT butter DICKHEAD.
My local post office is run by a big fat smarmy bitch who looks over her glasses at you and I would love to go in there with my Tourette's badge on.
Saxon with Tourette's: Hello FAT ARSE id like to post some COCKSUCKING letters, could I have two BIG SAGGY TITS stamps and a postal GAPING CUNT bag. Thank you, have a BIG SMELLY SNATCH day.
User Reviews
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still needs more Monkey with Straw hats.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK!!!
ASS!!!!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God, how I have missed your posts you crazy bastard.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to hang out with these Jewish frat boys when I was in college, and one of them had Tourette's. He didn't do the uncontrollable swearing thing - his was more like a hyperactive tic. We called him "Tweak."
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-07 11:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder who would win in a fight between Har Har Rabbit and Pancake Bunny....
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-07 11:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to +1 this because I felt you had too much repitition in your use of vulgarity,
but the pic deserves +2 alone!
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-10-07 07:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When people with Tourette syndrome are having sex with someone who likes talking dirty, they must feel like Kirstie Alley with a gift certificate to the International House of Pancakes.
btw, that rabbit could be IHOP's mascot.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-10-07 07:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Would you like MOTHERFUCKER fries with your BIG HAIRY CUNT burger"
HAHAHAHAHAHA that made me laugh out loud.
I want you to do this. Just try it. For a day. Then tell us about it.
Submitted by matchoo (user info) at 2005-10-07 07:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Does anyone know what's wrong with pfuckface?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-07 07:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to hang around with this guy who worked at a mental institution and he had this guy who suffered from tourettes who he used to torment. He'd sit next to him just repeating words like "have you got a lighter, have you got a lighter, have you gota lighter..." until the poor cunt would leap up shouting "HAVE YOU GOTA LIGHTER...."
The worst one was when they went on a day trip to a church and Dave sat there whispering to the guy "The vicar's wife sucks cock, the vicars wife sucks cock..."
Marijuana can control the condition though.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-10-07 06:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-10-07 06:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1. you made me pee myself laughing, turettes is hillarious.
2. I had that pic of a bunny as my desktop pic for ages.
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-10-06 23:36:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha... that rabbit has a pancake on its head!
Submitted by Kindred (user info) at 2005-10-06 22:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I mean FUCK ASSHOLE
sorry about that.
PUS INFECTED VAGINAL SCAB
my bad.
Submitted by Kindred (user info) at 2005-10-06 22:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHHA
by the title of the post, I was sure this was another Urbane related post.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-06 21:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I very much GODDAMNIT, BOB SAGET enjoyed your PISS post.
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-10-06 21:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Love the idea . also great pic
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-06 21:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this was really TITTY FUCKER LIMP DICK ASS-WIPE EEeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeXiiiiiLiLiLiLilent.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-10-06 21:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Magickmuse (user info) at 2005-10-06 21:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good Choice. You could be a White House spokesman.
Personally I would choose something usefull, like a prehensile tail :)
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-10-06 21:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the picture.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-10-06 20:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Would you like MOTHERFUCKER fries with your BIG HAIRY CUNT burger"
============
This saved it.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-10-06 20:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-10-06 20:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a photo of a woman being brutally raped:
http://www.elderlycarecenter.org