Awkward Hand Turkey Theatre Presents... (19590 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: AHTT
Rating: 1.84 on 65 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2005-10-07 07:43:12 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by EntityErased (user info) at 2006-04-04 04:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awkward Hand Turkey Theatre....
It's really what keeps me going.
The 9-5 is shit.
I come home and the family is shit.
Then there's the hand turkeys.
God bless the hand turkeys.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-04 03:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gold.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-12-16 00:20:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Silly awkward hand turkeys.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-12-16 00:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-01 08:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'Abhor his raping, of course'
Best line on Uber.
Submitted by automatica (user info) at 2005-11-22 08:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha, brilliant.
Submitted by erinly (user info) at 2005-11-17 00:18:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-11-14 00:42:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-11-14 00:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was bloody great!
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-11-09 22:51:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed it.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-11-07 09:31:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
personally, I thought this was the worst B@W post I've ever seen. with the possible exception of that shitty one about passwords by She Who Must Not Be Named.
Submitted by b0bbieb0b (user info) at 2005-10-28 08:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There are no words...
Submitted by the_grendel (user info) at 2005-10-28 08:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by malefic (user info) at 2005-10-18 02:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
top-drawer stuff. jolly good.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2005-10-16 23:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! masterful!
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-10-13 19:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-10-13 19:35:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
M<ad
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-12 22:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha good. B@W needs way more rape.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-10-12 22:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They're just mad cause a rape post made BAW.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-12 21:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's Merlina, Stin, Chinaski et al with their Rape -2s?
Fuckin Hypocrites.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-10-12 21:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Five times now.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-10-12 13:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W again? Jeebus Crisp.
Submitted by Stauquin (user info) at 2005-10-12 13:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-10-09 17:03:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would but unfortunately I'm about to take off to go to a group project.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-10-09 16:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
IM me, spooner2222
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-10-09 16:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
frankincense?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-10-09 16:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-10-09 15:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What if we give you gold?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-10-09 14:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have another of these made but you fuckers ain't seeing it.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-10-09 13:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you were a big facillitator to rape madness
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-09 10:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah cool
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-10-07 21:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-10-07 19:18:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
I *heart* Awkward Hand Turkey Theatre.
---
I guess that settles it. I'll do mroe Awkward Hand Turkey Theatre. Just not right now.
I actually cleaned up the hand turkeys in anticipation!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-10-07 19:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
noice.
sexy shirt
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-10-07 19:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I *heart* Awkward Hand Turkey Theatre.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lots of people on this site might not know the polanski story. this is one version:
===
from http://mirror.co.uk
SAMANTHA'S ordeal began after Polanski met her mother at an LA restaurant and showed a professional interest in the girl. Mother and daughter were thrilled.
It was a fine February day in 1977 when Polanski drove up to their California home in his rented Mercedes. Samantha's mother showed him into the living room.
Then 13-year-old Sam walked in with her pet bird and her dog. Polanski suggested they walk into the hills for a few photos.
"It was just him and me. He took some standard pictures but when I changed clothes he continued to take photos," Samantha says. "He took top-less pictures of me but it all seemed very professional and I did as I was told."
Two weeks later Polanski turned up at the house again. He told Samantha he was taking her to see a friend and they drove to his friend Jack Nicholson's house. "It was exciting," says Samantha. "My girlfriend was supposed to come along as my chaperone but at the last minute Polanski said it would be better if she didn't come. She went home and Mom didn't realise I was on the shoot alone."
NUDE SNAPS: Director Polanski
At the mansion Polanski got to work. The teenager was impressed by house in its fabulous position overlooking the city, although Nicholson was away skiing.
Samantha was thirsty so Polanski found a bottle of champagne and opened it by the pool.
She remembers: "He took shots of me everywhere. He was taking pictures and topping up my glass constantly." After four or five glasses Samantha was tipsy. Soon he was photo-graphing her nude in a whirlpool bath. Then Polanski stripped off and joined her.
"That was when it turned," says Samantha. "He said 'come here', put his arm around me and touched me on the shoulders.
"I realised I had put myself in a bad situation. I got scared and said I had asthma and couldn't breathe. I said I had to get out of the tub.
"As quick as I could get out of that Jacuzzi I got out. He was older and I didn't think it right we should be hanging out in the tub."
Polanski tried to comfort her. He told her to take half a tablet of the drug Quaalude - a powerful sedative - claiming it would help her asthma, before suggesting she move into the bedroom to sit down.
"We sat on the sofa and that's when it happened," says Samantha. "He started kissing me, I protested but then just submitted. I'd been drinking and was too frightened to push him off - he was a famous guy, he was intimidating. We were alone and it was pitch-black. I was scared. I knew what he was gonna do - and I didn't want him to do it.
"All I could think was let's get through this and I can get home. I just froze up." Polanski had intercourse with Samantha, performed oral sex and sodomised her. He then drove her home saying: "Don't tell your mum or your boyfriend, this is our little secret."
Back at her house, Samantha ran to her room while Polanski charmed her mum. It was not until much later she found out what really happened. Samantha's mother overheard a telephone conversation in which her daughter told her boyfriend about the rape.
Polanski, who won an Oscar for The Pianist in 2003, was arrested and spent 45 days behind bars.
His six charges including unlawful sex with a minor and forcible rape and in a bizarre twist the trial was set for August 9, the eighth anniversary of Sharon Tate's death. In fact, it was never held.
A friend of Polanski's overheard the judge vow to put him away for "100 years" and the director fled the US never to return.
Last week he testified in the Vanity Fair case by video link from a studio at the five-star Crillon Hotel in Paris. Polanski dare not set foot on British soil in case he is extradited back to the States.
For Samantha's husband David the whole affair is very simple: "Every time Polanski comes up in conversation I get angry inside, that man makes my skin crawl."
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is seriously fucking fantastic. Spooner, you are a man without bounds. I wish I could play football or golf on your man-ness.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking wierd. But I laughed.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-10-07 11:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What fucking timing. I come back, Spooner does a hand turkey post. Thanks, god.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-10-07 11:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I swear to God if GLALL doesn't see this I will be very pissed.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-10-07 11:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely B@W.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-07 11:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Trust the Midas touch, because this shit is off the heezay and pure GOLD.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-10-07 10:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's just freaky...but in a good way
Submitted by darkspoon (user info) at 2005-10-07 10:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-07 10:33:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-10-07 10:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A talking hand turkey could get away with saying just about anything, I bet.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-10-07 10:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I demand more turkey theater!
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-10-07 09:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know where you got this idea. But it's fucking awesome.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-10-07 09:46:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm speechless.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-10-07 09:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by VengefulDaddy (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:32:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
May I have a hit or two of whatever you've been smoking?
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-07 09:34:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:38:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:14:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
my hand turkey raped me. We have been awkward ever since.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-10-07 09:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...and people think the arts are dead.
THIS SHOWS THEM!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-10-07 09:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmmmmmm, so post-modern.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:14:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
my hand turkey raped me. We have been awkward ever since.
Submitted by milkfat (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I suspect he was untucked the entire time!
Submitted by VengefulDaddy (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
May I have a hit or two of whatever you've been smoking?
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Diggy-Dope. Yeah.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my hand turkey raped me. We have been awkward ever since.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-10-07 08:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-07 07:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-10-07 07:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by matchoo (user info) at 2005-10-07 07:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fantastic! when is the next one?
Submitted by the_cole_guy (user info) at 2005-10-07 07:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well it was original.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-10-07 07:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well that was different.