Three Steps Away (779 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by morontian (View user info) at 2005-10-07 22:40:58 EDT
Pure, white virginity is laid out before me, awaiting my molestation. The soft glow of her skin radiating within this frozen darkness beckons for me to begin the journey. And so I do.
I concentrate on the sound of the snow crunching beneath my feet. It is further proof that I am closer to where I want to be. Each step I take is not only felt by my feet and legs, but its voice is there for me to hear, and when I look back, their faces are there to smile up at me. These footprints, they understand me. Of course, that's not to say that they agree with what I do. The treacherous bastards would expose me in a second if I were careless enough to implicate them. It's just another factor to take into consideration, making a half-mile walk into a mile long trek. Everything tells me to turn around, go home, sit on my couch and wait for the call: the freezing air, the powdered ice falling from heavy clouds, the improbability of my secrecy; all voices crying for me to reason before I get in too deep to lie my way out. They make sense, these angels of trepidation, but I don't listen to them. I can't. I don't believe the call will come tonight, and I need her now.
Another blast of wind hits my face and I grin humorlessly as warm tears touch the corners of my eyes. What is the temperature tonight, I wonder? 5 degrees... 0... -2? It doesn't matter to me. I have my dread to keep me warm. Trudging through the snow, I have nothing but time to think. I think warm thoughts: sitting at the end of her sofa, her feet in my lap as I massage them under the soft blanket covering us both, the cup of steaming hot chocolate placed at the edge of the end table (no coaster, god love her), her hair, her eyes, her face, her body, her words and her smile. Not the smile they see on her face when she's with friends she is trying to entertain, but her true smile, the one that gently dawns on her face when she opens her eyes and realizes that my worshipping hands have lulled her to sleep. These thoughts drive me forward, and the thought that she is bestowing these gifts unto someone who could fucking care less about them reinforces my will, as broken as it has become.
I'm walking down the middle of the street because that seems to be the safest place right now. No possible way for my footprints to betray me here. With the weather being what it is tonight, I'll have plenty of time to see anything coming down the road and get out of harm's way. Soon I will have to think of something else, as I can just see the halo of falling snow illuminated around her porch light guiding me to the safe harbor that is her sight. But I'm invading that harbor, pillaging her graces. I can't let her see....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had only been in my hiding place for precious moments before he pulled up to her door. He stumbled out of the car like a retarded high-school dropout, dropping his beer bottle to the ground, only for it to be caught by the snow and fixed at a 45 degree angle. And what did the snow receive as a reward? Nothing but ugly yellow blotches blemishing its perfect complexion. He hadn't even reached the door and I already knew his nature, it shone from every act, his walk, and his blubbering fucking voice as it mocked a beautiful song and turned it into a grotesque charade of sentiment. He deserved death, he deserved castration. Instead, he had her. I stayed long enough to hear her laugh whisp through the wall and into the silence of my wintered heart and then I left, taking no notice of my footsteps as I did.
And now, as the sun touches the horizon, I put my foot down again on the accelerator and leave the traffic lights behind me as I search for some level of sanity in the vast, uncharted world. Uncharted by me, anyway, and I am the only one that matters right now. I hate what I have become and resolve to find myself....
and peace....
It's out there...
and this stroy has just begun.
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Three Steps Away.mp3 (8 MB) [audio/mpeg]
User Reviews
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-09 05:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-02-09 04:52:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Took me only 3 years to find this...
Submitted by AW4416 (user info) at 2005-10-14 13:18:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love the way you exploit the uber's multimedia capabilities........where most would simply put up the mp3 and say here it is you take the whole thing to the next level...i agree with ets thuogh real drums or at least a human drummer would be a nice touch and great job.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-10-12 23:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why hasn't anyone read this?
good job, as usual.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-10-11 10:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a good post. You're playing with the multimedia experience and I like that. The song is a soundtrack to the story.
The story had its moments of poetry; some of it was a bit overwrought, but it was good overall. I didn't care for some of the changes you made to the vocal track in the song. Some of it just felt wrong to me. A little too much in spots, I think. Maybe I'm making an unfair comparison to the first recording of the song, but that one just felt more...I don't know...passionate.
I think we need to get real drums on it and maybe I can explain in more detail which parts I thought could be better when we're in person and can sit down and listen to it through. In some cases, less is more...but I still can't see why your stuff doesn't get more attention. It's a great song, even in its present state.
People should at least give it a read and a listen and have enough courtesy to award all your hard work with some honest critique. More effort went into this post than probably 99.99% of all the posts in the history of uber, yet it's gotten less attention than 99.99% of them.
Keep doing different stuff. Fuck what everyone else thinks.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-10-08 18:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have another
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-08 14:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, I'm sorry nobody has rated and reviewed this. This was really fucking good! Christ, for this line alone ---> "Pure, white virginity is laid out before me, awaiting my molestation."
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-10-08 03:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahaaaaaa
a aah haaaaa
wwe erso lsonely afight athe ep
GODO G OOD DAMMIGT I A D DD D