Dear C1ndy (1847 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 1.6 on 65 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cindy (View user info) at 2005-10-09 18:08:26 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 20:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-09 21:00:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ann Landers is fookin' dead. So is D-Prime. . .
Submitted by bandphotographer (user info) at 2005-11-09 20:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:) no compliment is good enough.
+2 Fairy
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These are the answers Dear Abbey wishes she could give...
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-10-24 11:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantasy Football Violence Winner +2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-19 05:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Rad!
I really should post my D Prime madness entry.
I'm psyching myself up.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-18 06:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
y helo thar
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-10-17 23:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i live to please, Caul... well to please myself at any rate
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-17 17:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-10-10 21:19:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear C1ndy,
i have a problem: you are alive. please alleviate the situation with the utmost haste.
sincerely,
miffed
===
BAHAHHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-10-10 21:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear C1ndy,
i have a problem: you are alive. please alleviate the situation with the utmost haste.
sincerely,
miffed
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-10-10 19:18:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear C1ndy,
I found my friend on the heat list again. All is once again well.
Kthnx!
Crystle
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-10 15:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dang, I gotta send you some of these...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 12:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A centaur is a mythical creature with the head and torso of a man joined to the body of a horse. cool.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 12:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-10 11:51:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Category: Humor -> Dumb Jobs
----
the job is funny, the replies are serious and considered pieces of advice from my heart.
I'm going to stop encouraging you and also to Google what a centaur is. I know it is out of mythology, and isn't the pretty girl by the pool or the lady with the snake hair.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-10 11:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Category: Humor -> Dumb Jobs
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 11:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AJ it is not funny. It is serious advice.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-10-10 11:24:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So insightful!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-10 10:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no don't say that aj that will mean you are picking on her!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-10-10 10:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please circle the portion that would fall under the category of "funny" and repost this for me.
Thanks.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-10-10 10:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Ghey internet love and infidelity!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-10 09:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Moderately amusing. But similar things have been done many times before. And without the shitty MSPAINT qualities.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-10-10 07:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woooooo
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-10 07:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice job
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-10-10 07:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'I'm' a cunt....
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-10 07:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 07:04:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
If only someone had told me that all I had to do was do a post that wasn't completely shit to stop Apollo picking on me. """
aaaaaaaaand voila!
Apology to c1ndy post coming up today.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 07:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If only someone had told me that all I had to do was do a post that wasn't completely shit to stop Apollo picking on me.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:47:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:25:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear C1ndy
Why is Apollo so unnecessarily mean to you?
Merlina """
Perhaps I can answer this question on your behalf.
I am a cunt.
~~~~
I bet you're not. I bet the only reason you didn't come to the Ubercon is because it meant that you wouldn't be able to keep up the pretence all nice and bits of nice would slip through..
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:25:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear C1ndy
Why is Apollo so unnecessarily mean to you?
Merlina """
Perhaps I can answer this question on your behalf.
I am a cunt.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a hair there that's out of place Danger.... if you unzip your....
naymind.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:12:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ranger- I'm not actually teaching- I'm trying to do paperwork and stuff. I'm a brilliant teacher anyway- it says so on ratemyteacher.com and everything.
----------------------------------
It also says on foxnews.kom that Saddam Hussein has wmd's, and on ratemyaustralianprimeminiture.com that he has a mandate... I rest my case.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear C1ndy
Why is Apollo so unnecessarily mean to you?
Merlina
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:10:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Danger, Danger, high voltage...
------------------------------
Hidey-ho, Blondie. An elderly German told me I topped some kind of list of yours. It made me go all coy an' shit, which is very unfamiliar territory. Needless to say I beat the aforementioned strange emotion down and kicked it in the stomach 'til it bled out the mouth, and am once again completely absorbed with myself. *studies nails*
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:12:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ranger- I'm not actually teaching- I'm trying to do paperwork and stuff. I'm a brilliant teacher anyway- it says so on ratemyteacher.com and everything.
Apollo- you got me. I am sorry.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Danger, Danger, high voltage...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-10 06:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for someone who is 'ignoring' it, you don't half harp on about it.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-10-10 05:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What kind of teacher ARE you!!!?? Surfing the 'net when you should be teaching class!! You are directly responsible for all those Artful Dodgeresque kiddies roaming the streets picking on hapless tourists bumbags!
Oliver Twist: Please, Miss, may I have some more homework?
Hopelessly Inept Teacher: BLOODY 'ELL I'M TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO SPELL 'ERE!!!
Brick Top: Just shu'it, right?
Mike Skinner: Dry your eyes, mate..
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-10-10 05:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 05:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's like a badly spelled version of Marmite that exists when I am trying to review posts and work at the same time. Expect you never get it in Australia cos you have vegemamtie.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-10-10 05:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nope, no bobbies beating, no rain but wtf do I care I'm not a farmer and I know they make beer with water but who gives a fuck Australian beer is horrible, as long as it rains in Mehicoh I don't give a flying fuck.
And WTF is marmtie???? Some kind of martial art?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 05:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah? I suppose you don't have bobbies on the beat or marmtie or terrible weather every day either?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-10-10 05:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
err... we don't have 'basements' in Australia, Limey, we have verandahs, concrete slabs and melanoma. Those two homo's are gone, get over it, good fucking riddance I say, there's enough homo on uber with rad and Berty. bart agreed to ban them if the didn't leave quietly, so after crying some emo tears and comparing their ghey pink polos replete with upturned collars, they left. bart and I are like that, you know (oh, you can't see..), no no no no, not like 'that', that's attn ghey williamsonz, like... oh, nevermind.
We also don't have parkers and hoovers, we have vacuum cleaners and garages.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 04:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So you are the Uber doorman now?
(Bollocks you asked them to leave- i bet you have them tied up in your basement and only let Williamson out to mow your lawn and wink at Japanese girls and Thorpe out to do your kid's homework and work in the newsagents)
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-10-10 04:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I asked them to leave.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 04:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet I could detect your superior writing talent even when you were undercover.
Have you killed Thorpe and Williamson? Where are they?
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2005-10-10 04:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't tell you that - it's an 'alter', English. Good grief...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-10 04:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ranger did I like you when you were an alter?
I'm going to answer all the problems (here and email ones) on another post.
Uber you have some fucked up problems.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-10 03:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OMG A CINDY POST THAT IS MILDY AMUSING
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-10-10 03:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Th1ndy,
I took some time away from this website 'cause it had turned to bollocks and then I posted under an alter for a bit and during that time had noticed that everyone had grown up so then I came back and saw that everyone was posting about rape and I thought "Cool! A Bandwagon!!" problem was I didn't know what rape was and didn't wanna look stupid so couldn't join in, and I love bandwagons....... my bum hurts... anyway had that bandwagon been about shapes or even crepes I coulda participated because I'm quite the authority on both but it wasn't so I couldn't. Did they leave me out on purpose, Th1ndy? Well, did they?
Submitted by absolutzero (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the Ubermost So far on a Sunday morning.
THough its a MOnday here...
Have a great day...
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-10-09 22:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear C1ndy:
If my penis falls off, am I still a loveable human being?
Submitted by Gunslinger (user info) at 2005-10-09 22:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay! Sundays deserve good posts like this!
That's all I got. Guess that's why people don't post much today. But you should do it more!
Submitted by nitelibrarian (user info) at 2005-10-09 22:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very funny!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-10-09 22:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear C1ndy,
I have an innernut friend who I'm used to meeting on a lovely site, but lately, said friend hasn't been riding the top of the heat list, so I haven't been able to find her as much. Any advice?
Kthanx!
Crystle
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-10-09 21:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56324
Tee-hee. Linkwhore, mmmmmmmm.
I'll be emailing you my problem.
Submitted by Lucylou (user info) at 2005-10-09 21:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-09 20:52:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like a centaur
----------
This made me laugh very hard.
Seriously, good post, but I just went away for an hour for lunch and I came back and it was still at the top of the uber page! Slow day!
Still a great post though!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-09 20:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like a centaur
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-10-09 20:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Trevor1st93 (user info) at 2005-10-09 20:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-10-09 19:57:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Trevor1st93 (user info) at 2005-10-09 19:08:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does this post not have more reviews?
=================================================================
Because it's Sunday, bloody Sunday. The worst day of the week. Not a popular day on here or anywhere else for that matter. I hate Sundays. They're no good unless you're a Christian or a pop singer (seems like it's a key day of the week to sing about). And I'm not any of that. Nothing good ever came from this alpha day of the week. It just feels icky, doesn't it? I mean, you KNOW you have to go back to work/ school the next day, so your whole Sunday is ruined. RUINED I tell you! Not to mention places of business close early. Chic-fil-A isn't open at all! Again... stupid Christians. Although, I don't blame them. If I owned my own business, I wouldn't open at all on Sundays. I'd want to hide in my house and mourn for the loss of my weekend, and curse the vile day's rotten stench. I don't have a business, but I still do something similar. For example, tonight my big plans are to watch some musicals (Hello, Dolly!, Annie, etc) eat not-completely-baked chocolate chip cookies, and make a little stench of my own. Man, I wish I was having sex right now. The kind where you're sore after.
I hate Sundays.
----------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, our local coffee shop was closed today and I wanted to sit down with a nice cup of coffee and talk all day with people there. Frickin' Sundays, the coffee shop was closed today because of you and now you're making me go back to school tommorow! Burn in hell!
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2005-10-09 20:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Cindy... I got nothin. Funny post though.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-10-09 19:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Trevor1st93 (user info) at 2005-10-09 19:08:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does this post not have more reviews?
=================================================================
Because it's Sunday, bloody Sunday. The worst day of the week. Not a popular day on here or anywhere else for that matter. I hate Sundays. They're no good unless you're a Christian or a pop singer (seems like it's a key day of the week to sing about). And I'm not any of that. Nothing good ever came from this alpha day of the week. It just feels icky, doesn't it? I mean, you KNOW you have to go back to work/ school the next day, so your whole Sunday is ruined. RUINED I tell you! Not to mention places of business close early. Chic-fil-A isn't open at all! Again... stupid Christians. Although, I don't blame them. If I owned my own business, I wouldn't open at all on Sundays. I'd want to hide in my house and mourn for the loss of my weekend, and curse the vile day's rotten stench. I don't have a business, but I still do something similar. For example, tonight my big plans are to watch some musicals (Hello, Dolly!, Annie, etc) eat not-completely-baked chocolate chip cookies, and make a little stench of my own. Man, I wish I was having sex right now. The kind where you're sore after.
I hate Sundays.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-10-09 19:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha... these are great!
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-10-09 19:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear C1ndy,
I have an embarassing rash. Its in my naughty place. What should I do?
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-10-09 19:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha....your advice is spot on.
Submitted by Trevor1st93 (user info) at 2005-10-09 19:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does this post not have more reviews?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-10-09 18:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha!
Ok...
Dear C1ndy,
I too have dropped anchor at the certain website you mentioned. Here is my problem; I have to move around from website to website frequently. It starts off wonderfully; I come in, be all witty and what not, but then I start to disturb people by writing about sick and twisted things. Pretty soon they form a mob and come after me with torches, pitchforks, silver bullets, garlic, holy water, crosses, and straight jackets. They shout horrible things too like 'Devil's Wench' and 'Dirty Pirate Hooker' and 'She's evil! She must be destroyed!'
I am feeling the urge to start posting these sick things here.
Considering that I am now residing at this website, how long do you think it'll be before this lot does the same thing? I only ask because if I'm going to be dragged through the middle of town for the villagers to hiss and throw vegetables at me, I should plan out what I'll wear.
P.S. Do you think it is normal for men to greet each other with 'Y Halo Thar Butsecks?' (sp?)