This WILL give you a massive erection (be that dick or clit) (3807 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: -0.83 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chinaski (View user info) at 2005-10-10 01:15:05 EDT
"A bitch sucks dick. A ho turns a trick. But a lady... a lady makes love. I'm going to teach you how to make love, baby."
Sparky the pimp turned an unnaturally bright smile on the petulant sixteen year old sitting before him. She had nebulous breasts, round, thick thighs, a thick, phat booty, and lips that could out-squeeze a python.
"Ok Spawky," she lisped, attempting a smile. On her face, with her background of abuses both sexual and physical, the expression looked defensive and confused. Her crooked teeth were ground down in the front, complementing the ragged bloody ruin of her cuticles. The ho even chewed her toenails, mused Sparky.
The pimp smiled to himself- an offensive, self-sure, insinuating shark's grin. He lazily unzipped his fly. A flaccid, humongous, jet-black member flopped out, unfurled, and twitched slightly.
"Play witcho self, baby," Sparky intoned silkily. Equally smoothly, Betunia nodded her head, keeping direct eye contact with the pimp and running her spittle-inflected tongue over her gargantuan lips.
Sparky's dong made another miniscule twitch. He grabbed both sides of his seat. He nodded affirmatively.
The girl lay back on her elbows, propped against a large velvet pillow leaning against Sparky's bedroom wall. The wall climbed up to meet an Edwardian ceiling, high above their heads, and was covered with rugs and mirrors. Betunia made a small moaning sound. She brought her pelvis up slowly, lowered it even more slowly. She repeated this motion a few times. The gaudy pornography of the move was not lost on Sparky. He became semi-erect.
A deft motion popped the fly on Betunia's tight jeans. Lithe fingers pulled down her fly. The spread-V of her pants revealed flat, flower-print panties. Sparky imagined they were already damp and moist. His breathing quickened. Betunia raised her hips, grabbed her pants by the back pockets, and slipped them down. As she did the panties slid down too, revealing a thatch of bristly pubic hair. Sparky smelled a hot musk. His semi-wood stiffened more.
Betunia brought her hands up to her massive bosom. She rubbed her breasts. Sparky ached to join her. He refrained with difficult as she lifted her baby-t over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra, and her tits jounced and jostled. They didn't flop off to either side like the hideous flesh balloons of most big-titted sluts... instead they remained attractive and almost unbearably sexual. Her pert brown nipples stiffened visibly as Sparky moaned under his breath. She brought a breast up to her mouth and sucked on it with massive lips.
After some extended attention, her hands came down to her panties, and she lowered them. Two well-practiced fingers spread her vaginal lips apart, and a moist flower, a delicious, ripe pussy, greeted Sparky. The smell was floral and exquisite. Betunia gasped and moaned in a voice inflected with passion. She rubbed herself slowly, making tiny circles on her clit. Juices began to flow. Sparky hardened further.
"Ok... ok baby" he gasped. "Now come on over here... yeah... first you gonna make love to my dick... a'ight?"
"Yes Spawky" she smiled. She crawled over and sat with her feet below her. Sparky gazed at her enormous breasts with something akin to love.
"A'ight baby... a'ight take my dick... yeah, mm, both hands. Now here's how you make love to my dick baby... you want to just suck and suck on it... lick it up and down... now pretend ... UGHNN!... pretend it's a AHHH lollypop... yeah... just suck it like you love it so much... oh baby... Jesus..."
Betunia, eyes closed, was in a fantasy world. All her dreams and hopes were centered on that massive dick. She was enchanted by Sparky's voice and moans of ecstasy. She never got reassurance like this at home, or at school, which she had dropped out of. She attacked Sparky's member with lips and tongue, bringing it down to rub on her tits.
Finally Sparky jerked and pushed her back by the shoulders. "Jesus baby, ok, that was wonderful. You doin' real good. Ok, I almost came right there. But I got to teach you how else a lady makes love. You want me to teach you baby?"
"Oh yes Sparky!" Betunia purred. She looked up at him from under her lashes and smiled prettily.
"Baby turn over... get on all fours. Yeah, like that." Sparky was breathing extremely heavily. His cock was fully erect. Massively wide and ten inches long, it throbbed and glistened. Betunia moaned expectantly.
"Ok... yeah... sho'..." Sparky murmured to himself. He spat on his hand and rubbed it over his cock. He grabbed his dick and rubbed the head against Betunia's opening pussy. Then he pushed deeply, fully in, in one hard, fluid motion. She was surprisingly tight, and the velvet, sugary walls of her vagina clasped around Sparky's member with a sublime grip.
They moaned in concert, and Sparky began pushing his cock in and out vigorously...
The end, you fucking pervert. What the fuck is wrong with you, reading this far?
User Reviews
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-10-10 15:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's because you have a shit fetish, you vapid queer.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-10 13:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And you criticize MY posts?
I shit more interesting stuff than this, dickweed.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-10-10 13:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the hottest thing ever.
SCHHHAAAAAAAA WING!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-10 12:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gross, racist, offensive... in a word, AWESOME.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-10-10 12:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Beams at Circe*
I draw in a LOT of revenge negative ratings... I suppose I deserve them if one bad turn invites another.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-10-10 12:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the post, then the comments, then the post again...
Did no-one else get that it was hilarious? Or is it only amusing to me?
Whatever. +2 for making me laugh so hard I woke up my husband.. who read it, looked at me, and said "You're not a very discerning girl, are you honey?"
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-10-10 12:38:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, lookit all the turds that come out to rate my (admittedly ridiculously stupid) post.
But at least all these zit-faced momma's boys got raging boners.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-10 08:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Hey bud that sounds pretty nasty in there, how about a courtesy flush?"
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-10-10 08:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
UM.....
Submitted by DrBenway0 (user info) at 2005-10-10 05:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lacks any form of authenticity...
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-10-10 02:33:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:25:08 (#)
Ranking: -1
what the hell man if they
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto Rape -2. Some Uberusers were abused by pimps at 16, have some fucking compassion.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
what the hell man if they
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL
============
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-10-08 22:00:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
just realized reading this was the equivalent of staring at a brick wall
if you read a toilet stall wall, you usually find the most interesting quotes and discussion trees
why is it that a person who writes on a wall with a marker is infinitely more entertaining that you, you who have gone to so much trouble compiling this post, which is the visual equal of eating cardboard?
forget the fucking disclaimer, that's a pity ploy, this really deserves no more than a string of -2s, thank the lack of objective voting on the site for that not happening
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart got a boner : )
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You spell it "Faggot".
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:18:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shit
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
faggit
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-10-10 01:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2% and it's all because of my
motivational techniques, like donuts and the possibility of more
donuts to come.
-- Homer Simpson
You Only Move Twice