Ready Room (1423 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.94 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rizzo (View user info) at 2005-10-13 23:05:40 EDT
I lost my virginity in the back of a Renault Encore.
Well, let's get technical. What's considered losing your virginity? Putting it in? Putting it in and stroking it?
Whatever. It was the same girl. 15 or 17, it makes no difference now. She has a username on this site, even.
I tried to write down all the girls I had sex with in my life and I couldn't do it. I can't remember them all. All the girls I kissed? Forget it. There's no hope.
There was a time when I was sure I would never see the inside of a girl's legs. I was convinced.
I got drunk for the first time on Mischeif Night, 1993. That's 12 years of drinking.
I got drunk for the last time on July 6, 1999. And December 24, 2001. And May 5, 2002. And December 24, 2004.
I'm drunk.
How come life is easier before you leave college? Ever since I started working, my life has changed. I can't get women anymore. I have no charm. I couldn't be in a better situation than now. What happened?
Why can't I enjoy The Simpsons anymore? Whatever happened to fucking off all day and watching TV? Why do I feel guilty when I do that?
Where the hell are all my socks?
How come cell phone batteries die so quickly anymore? Whatever happened to the StarTac? Why are people so fucking enamored with text messaging?
I'll admit it - canned peas out of a can are a regular thing for me.
Margarine is one molecule away from plastic.
I am convinced I could put out a #1 alternative rock album, a #1 rap album, and a #1 cult movie if given enough time. I could never write a #1 novel, though.
Ladies - long hair or short? Abs or gut?
I have more pens than I know what to do with.
I have played more games of NBA Jam than anyone on Earth. More than likely, if you are a girl, and you talked to me on the phone, I was playing NBA Jam.
This post is going nowhere. Now for the graphic that ties the title in.
User Reviews
Submitted by Aphrodite (user info) at 2005-11-11 15:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2005-10-14 01:02:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm just amazed you could do it in the backseat of a renault encore, that girl must have been mighty dissapointed.
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ROFL tell the story rizzo. DO IT!!!! you know it was some funny shit.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-14 14:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-10-14 14:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ROOM READY!
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-10-14 14:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You make me glad I can read.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-10-14 13:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-14 11:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-10-14 09:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm disturbed by the margarine thing.
I'm also disturbed by the fact that I don't know what they have to do to coffee to make it decaf, but then again I don't drink the decaf stuff anyway so what do I care.
I feel like it should be a constitutional right to dump coffee on the head of anyone who refers to the decaf versus caf (not sure what to call it - regular coffee) as "leaded" or "unleaded". I mean come on, what the fuck is "leaded" anymore anyway? I haven't seen leaded gas since....hmm...never. You know what I remember something about my idiot brother-in-law taking something called a catalectic converter off his car so he could put regular gas in it. jackass
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-10-14 08:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chicks got easier for me after college. A lot easier, and I jammed a lot in college. Of course I was in South East Asia, and to them Pale skin is hot, I was tall, and a millionaire.
After I came back I was reduced to hotornot, and yahoo personals. Now I am seeing someone (not from the internet, that was just sport fucking).
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-14 07:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Renault Encore was my first car in high school, red and black with red vinyl interior.
I have a pen fetish also.
StarTac is still the best cell phone I've ever had.
And after 10 years of freaking my wife out by eating peas out of a can, I thought I was the only one.
I'm going to have to make it down to that WaWa sometime to meet you.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-14 05:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*reads post*
*smokes another ciggarette*
*eats more fatty food*
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-14 03:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-14 03:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE ABOUT RKA.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2005-10-14 01:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm just amazed you could do it in the backseat of a renault encore, that girl must have been mighty dissapointed.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-14 00:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you didn't drink anymore??
Anyway...this post made me think.
+2
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-10-14 00:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like they're all trying to change a diaper...
I gotta get out of the house.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-10-13 23:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Margarine is one molecule away from plastic. " I have said this, i swear you cant eat this crap its sticks in ya bum.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-10-13 23:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ahh, the good old drunken reflection post, how i love thee.
im am better than anyone in the entire universe at nba jam. my record on nba jam tournament was 55-0 and on the one after that (where you could customise your player) was 65-0.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-13 23:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa. Was it Lojope?
I don't know if rape counts as losing your virginity...