Breaker 1, 9... there is a gummy bear at the corner of the Hudson and L.I. Sound. - Stories from a Truck Driver Part 1 (860 hits)
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Submitted by Da MagnificAnt Dyldo <lordofduct.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-10-16 06:10:53 EDT
My father drives tractor trailer. He also owns his own company hauling personally owned vehicles from the Northeast to the southeast. Many people know these customers as "snowbirds". My father put me to work at a young age learning the ropes of the entire game. When I was younger and before my father owned his own company I thought this was awesome. He hauled auction cars at the time and I would go with him at age ten and get to drive them around the lot; saving him the walking time.
As I got older he started teaching me how to load them. By fifteen years old I was proficient in tying down any vehicle. I could drive and pull and car with a toe truck. I was gaining skills I could use if I didn't get an education. To bad I love to learn and have a knack for mathematics. So I am off in college becoming a doctor in number theory and plan on teaching. I respect the civil service way to much.
Coming from a large family doesn't afford me much in receiving money from my parents. Doing enormously large amounts of drugs in high school and receiving the 2 felonies and absurd amounts of other charges don't help in getting scholarships. So when I graduated high school I jumped in the truck with my father and actually thought about becoming a truck driver. So while I was seventeen I spent the year learning how to drive an 18-wheeler and map out the entire east coast in my head. I got some close bonding time with my father as well, something I lacked my entire life. In the matter of that year I went from the mentality of a twelve year and trying to get high at every moment possible to being a responsible and upstanding citizen concerned about my life.
After getting out of my fathers truck I got in a tow truck and moved out of the house. When I turned 18 I got my Class D license and my Class A permit. I drove tow truck for a little longer, but got back in the big truck with my brother as I needed 6 months of proven on road training to get my license. You can avoid this part by going to an accredited school, but why do that when I can get paid to drive with my brother. Through out the two and a half years working in trucks I saw some bizarre things. I plan to share some stories of the road with you now; I hope you enjoy.
Shit Bag Free Air Bastards
I flew to New York a couple months back to try and get a new image of the city as I hated it after working there. All breeds of people are there trying to take you for all your money in business. I have meet the dumbest, pig headed bastards here; other then in South Florida (where I live). What should I expect from a city who has a billboard visible from the BQE that reads, "blah blah pet store... dogs and fishes... dookie blah". Were they trying to be cute by saying 'fishes'?
My father and I come into Brooklyn and got off the exit for the area a customers car is located. We have an address, but the atlas doesn't show side streets... it shows the main roads. This was five years ago and a laptop would of been a bit expensive for a family owned business. So I give the customer a call and tell him we are minutes from his house and would like to get directions to his house.
"Are you a truck driver?" he asks me on the phone.
"Yes, I am the loader and my father drives the truck. We are just around the corner."
"Do you own a map?"
"Of course, I have an atlas in my hand right..." I am cut off.
"Then find me!" and the phone goes dead.
I was dumbfounded, so I call him back.
"Hello sir, I am sorry but your street is not located on our map. Also we are thirteen and a half feet tall and nearly seventy-five feet long. This area is tight and we would like to know the best route in without any low trees."
"That isn't my problem; you're a truck driver you should know!" He hangs up again.
We finally located the house after having my step mother call. The man was a sweet heart to her from the get go. That is why secretaries are always women; it is not that men think low of women. People just like pretty soft voiced woman. As I inspect the car the man asks if we except checks. I point out in the contract that we do not except any checks and that we only take cash/money order/credit card. He says he understands and we go on our way. When we get to Florida the man attempts to pay with a check. I inform him that we had already spoken of this and we do not except checks. He proceeds to show us the check and says it is a business check and that he has no other way to pay for it. I consult my father about it and for some reason my father agrees to it as it was a business check.
The check bounced...
My brother and I get off out on Long Island some where I do not remember. I know we went north toward the customer's house that we were dropping the car off at. About a mile from the home we come to a bridge with a 12 foot clearing. We pull into a small shopping mall and call the customer.
"Hello sir this is Dylan with #### Transportation. We are a mile from your house at a small shopping mall and can not go any further due to a low bridge. Could you please meet us here to pick up the car, or we can drive the car to you and you give us a ride back to the truck?"
"The paperwork says this is a door to door service." The man tells me.
"Yes sir it is as long as we can make it to your door." [the contract is worded to explain this] "The problem is there is a 12 foot bridge in front of us and this truck is thirteen and a half feet tall when loaded with cars. We can not go any further." I thought this would make sense to him, but I was wrong.
"Is my car on the top of the trailer?" What does that matter?
"No sir, it is on the lower level as you requested at pick up."
"Then what does the height matter?" Holy fucking shit, this man just asked me to damage cars just because they are not his.
"Sir we are loaded with nine cars other then yours." I must add these cars aren't cheap cars either. They are Mercedes', Lexus', Cadillac's, among other more expensive cars such as MBG's, Lotus, classic Bentley's.
"Yeah, but my car isn't on top."
After the incident in 2001 it was a short while until we could start work again. Even when we could our truck was forbidden from entering Manhattan. It was even difficult prior to the attack to get our truck into Manhattan; the attack amplified that. We inform customers of this prior to finalizing the deal. They understand everything up until then, but as Fat Tony said, they don't speak English anymore after that.
When picking up a Porsche 911 the man had forgotten he had to drive it out to us from Manhattan. It was raining out and he didn't like driving his beautiful penis enlarger in the filth like that. He also had forgotten to book a tow truck to bring it out to us and now it is going to cost upwards to three hundred dollars; that is if the police will even allow it. Through out his pleading for us to come to his apartment he would not understand that the cops won't allow us in. He continually gives us different routes in and will not except the fact the cops will not allow us. The man finally finds a friend to ride with him out to us and drop the car off.
By law a car hauler is not allowed to have any contents in the vehicles. A truck must also stay under eighty thousand pounds and every pound counts; counts as much as a dollar a pound. When you are one thousand pounds overweight, that is one hefty fine. On the east coast the D.O.T. usually ignores the no contents law, as opposed to the west coast where they are iron fist tight about it. Some customers know this so we will allow a couple things in the car as long as its nothing heavy and doesn't block the accessibility of the driver seat from both passenger and driver side (sometimes due to tight spots you have to slip into the car on the passenger side). The most important law is that no commercial vehicle is allowed to have alcohol in it and definitely is not allowed to take alcohol over state lines with out proper licensing.
This man had is Porsche 911 loaded with wine. The trunk was filled with bottle after bottle. The front was loaded with it, he attempted to take more bottles from his friend's vehicle and place them in the driver seat when he got out. He couldn't understand why we were now refusing to take his vehicle.
Sometimes my brother gets into a tight spot and starts to get angry. When he is angry he does stupid things. Progress is then thwarted! Sometimes he can't even remember the reverse gear is all the way to the right and down.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-10-17 18:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this slice of life stuff.
Submitted by pizdets (user info) at 2005-10-17 13:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To be proper:
"Fish" is the singular and a plural for a collection ONE species. "Fishes" is the plural for a collection of MULTIPLE species. So, if you have a tank full of guppies, "look at my fish!". However, if you have catfish, guppies, and a Chinese algae eater, then "look at my fishes". Most people don't know/care, but "fishes" is proper.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-17 03:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You actually picked on my grammar? I just read some of your posts and found nothing grammatically correct. If Rad or C1ndy picked on my grammar I could understand fully. You don't even know how to form a simple proper sentence and you throw commas around as if they were periods.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-17 03:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Viper_04 (user info) at 2005-10-17 03:16:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Bah, poor grammar and i was expecting gummi bears!
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Also:
My grammar isn't that bad for a mathematics major who wrote this without a speel check.
That statement of yours uses poor grammar.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-17 03:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Viper_04 (user info) at 2005-10-17 03:16:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Bah, poor grammar and i was expecting gummi bears!
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"Gummy Bear" is trucker slang for a cop car posted on the side of the road with a dummy doll in it.
Submitted by Viper_04 (user info) at 2005-10-17 03:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bah, poor grammar and i was expecting gummi bears!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-17 02:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
an old 358?
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2005-10-17 02:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Customers. Is there anything they can't fuck up?
I know just the feeling - you very carefully spend ages explaining everything, only to have them turn around and do/ask something that proves they didn't listen to a word you said.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-10-16 15:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
solid.
nothing like the general public to be stupid and ruin a work day
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-16 14:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-16 08:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man I have some retarded spelling mistakes in this post.
I would like to say that I did not mean MBG. The name of the car is an MGB, there is also a model called MGA.
http://www.seriouswheels.com/pics-1960-1969/1961-MG-MGA-red-fa-lr.jpg
The MGA is one of my favorite cars. In Suffield CT I saw a Mercedes MGA kit car... the most beautiful car I had ever seen!
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2005-10-16 08:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dag.. I thought it was just the front part, designed to take like 5 cars.. Thats a weapon of a truck.. I dont even like driving a ute loaded up with shit.. fuck driving that beast.. I know i couldnt handle it
Submitted by Jack_Burton (user info) at 2005-10-16 07:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is Jack Burton on the 'ol Pork Chop Express an I'm talkin to anyone out there listenin on this dark and stormy night. When you're next driving through the desert wasteland on some sun-blasted inferno of a day that's so hot you can taste the fumes of the melting paintwork in the back of your throat and it seems like you'll be driving till the fire and brimstone starts to rain from the sky, and you pass that big white sign saying '50' with the cops parked right up in wait next to it, next time you're there, you just remember what your ol' buddy Jack does. Yep, Jack Burton'll stomp right down on that gas pedal, scream right past that blue-and-white with a wave and say: What The Hell.
like I told my last wife, I never drive faster thatn I can see and besides that... It's All In The Reflexes.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-16 07:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
here is a full size image of a Cottrell high rail stinger CS-12LTA (the kind of truck you see there)
http://www.cottrelltrailers.com/framesets/..%5Cimages%5Cstingerrelated%5Ccs12lta1.jpg
the head rack actually is not the same as that one there though. Our head rack (part around the tractor) is designed to fit 4 vehicles if needed. Also, it doesn't show in this image, but in the back of the trailer where is has 2 SUV's is a third rack in between those 2. You usually don't use it unless you have very short vehicles. That is how we were able to fit that many SUVs on it.
And in the belly how it has two vehicles in this image... well the one tilted can be raised to slide another vehicle under it. I really should pull out that pic of the thing loaded by myself. In later posts I will show it.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-16 07:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2005-10-16 06:50:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, thats the smallest car hauling truck Ive ever seen, Ive never seen one of those in australia.
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It is just the angle of the truck and the direction of the camera. The trailer is turned in this pic. It is about 75 feet long... if you are talking about height and compactness of the trailer it is due to design. This is a Cotrell high rail stinger; the BEST design for a trailer in my opinion. When needed and allowing for weight you can jam 12 full size cars on it.
I have a picture somewhere of this same trailer that my brother and I loaded 11 SUV's onto... we were overweight, but they fit! Any car hauler out there will know how difficult that is!
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2005-10-16 06:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.. Ive got respect for truckers.. I work in a dead end street, and we have 25 foot trucks delivering lengths of tube and sheet to us.. The pros can do a U-turn, but the amatures have to reverse the length of the street, then back out onto the main road.
By the way, thats the smallest car hauling truck Ive ever seen, Ive never seen one of those in australia.