About God (1014 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.71 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cellar_door (View user info) at 2003-05-20 15:27:18 EDT
Or, Why Jahweh is Nothing More Than a Control Mechanism for Golden Calf Worshipping Neanderthals:
1. If he knows everything, future and past, how can there be any choice for us? Church says, "Get saved! You have a choice for heaven or hell!" But in Revelations, there is the Book of the Lamb, and everyone who is getting into Shangri-La is in there. Kind of narrows it down, doesn't it? Let me know now if my name is in there or not, 'cause if it isn't, I'm gonna fuck some shit up.
2. The God-Can-Do-Anything paradox: If he can do anything, then he can create a stone he can't pick up, which means he can't do everything. Woops! (I always liked that one. Funny!)
3. "God loves each and every one of us." Uh, then why create sinners so they burn forever in a lake of fire just because you created them as sinners. Doesn't work for me.
4. The Catholic Church: 'nuff said.
5. And as for my subtitle, it seems to me that at some point while they were wandering the desert, Moses, said, "Screw these crazy Israelites. We need to get their orgiastic, people-sacrificing, statue-worshipping asses under control. Hey, Aaron, I'm going up on that hill over there and I'm putting on stone some damn rules to get these sumsabeeches under control. We'll tell them it's God or something." When they wanted to know who God was, after seeing these crazy ass new Commandments, Moses had these convincing stories of Noah and Adam and Eve. They said, "Damn, this God fella seems mighty powerful. Better obey them there rules then. Ishmael! Throw away that damn goat statue." And a religion was born.
Thank you.
User Reviews
Submitted by bellauk (user info) at 2003-05-22 06:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
isn't the correct spelling Yahweh ?
Submitted by pig_iron_bob (user info) at 2003-05-22 06:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
cheers. where does this jesus lad live?
on the ark or in the moon? i'll break his
legs if you like. SNAP. no more walking
on water for you. cheeky bastard.
Submitted by cellar_door (user info) at 2003-05-20 16:30:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Just let your heart harden..." I meant, "Just DON'T let your heart harden..."
Submitted by cellar_door (user info) at 2003-05-20 16:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, Jesus had a lot of good things to say, as did Buddha and Mohammed (sp?). But religion in itself is bad for people. Look at how many wars and other atrocities have been acted out in the name of God, Allah or whoever. Pro-lifers killing abortion doctors, Buddhist monks lighting themselves on fire, Islamic jihads. I wrote to get people to think about what they believe, so they wouldn't just believe because that's the thing to do. Use your head and look at all religious preachings. Pick from them what means the most to you and life your life accordingly. Just let your ideas harden your heart towards those who think differently.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-05-20 16:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i saw a sign today that said "Problems? Jesus is the answer!"
i sincerely doubt Jesus can fix my transmission. let's get real here, people.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2003-05-20 16:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think that Judaism and Buddhism have it going on. I like Catholicism in theory, and Jesus seemed like an awfully nice guy.
Read the "Joshua" series by Joseph Girzone... those are some solid books.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-05-20 16:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Been done. And better.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1051024510627929358
I couldn't disagree with you more
But still +2 for taking the time to write a coherent 'thinker' post
Submitted by cellar_door (user info) at 2003-05-20 15:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As for comic relief, that's up to you. As for being stupid (and I know this could get ugly) but how am I stupid? I went to church my whole life. I even taught sunday school. But, damn, there's too many loopholes to teach it correctly, let alone believe it. Thank you.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-05-20 15:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What, is this supposed to be comic relief or something? You relieved nothing.
This wasn't funny.
Murphy
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-05-20 15:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would be more intrigued -and amazed- if you somehow showed yourself to NOT be stupid.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-05-20 15:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes. the whole thing is just full of holes...
+2 for saying "sumsabeeches"