Street Fighter Two and Suicide (956 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.45 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (View user info) at 2005-10-17 22:43:37 EDT
Sweat dripped from my brow as my thumb rolled across the direction pad. Forward/down/forward low punch, Down/forward low punch, Down/forward hard punch. Allyukin, hadukin, HADUKIN! The commanding voice pounds through my televisions speakers as I watch Vega get smacked and then do several back flips to avoid my energy attacks.
It all started this afternoon. As I was helping my roommate clean out the garage, I lifted a cardboard box that had an all too familiar controller lying on top. Super Nintendo... My second love. As I sifted through the box, I came across game after game, but they were all unfamiliar to me. "Final Fight??" I remember thinking as I dug deeper. "Who the fuck ever played that?" As I continued rummaging, my roommate informed me that most of his good games had disappeared during his college days.
Then I saw it. The game of all games. The game that engulfed 90% of my preteen life. Street Fighter Two: World Warrior. My legs quaked as I started assembling all the necessary parts in front of the TV. He had two controllers, but one was broken so for now it would be a one player affair. That was fine with me; my roommate had to leave for work anyway.
After a little practice, I was soon up against Vega. What a bitch. Every time I almost had him, he would jump on the damn cage in the background like an agoraphobic albino hermaphrodite, too afraid to show himself. No matter, I knew with the proper combination of Dragon Punches and Hadukins, he would soon be eating shit.
Next came Saget. He was tough, but at least he didn't jump around as much as the Spanish faggot I had just played. Soon I became tired of the constant barrage of "TIGER, TIGER, TIGER, TIGER, TIGER UPPERCUT!" and I gave him the full furry of my Allyukin (Ryu is such a pimp).
Finally I was presented with my real challenge. M. Bison. For those of you unfortunate souls who are unfamiliar with this pinnacle of programming, he is one tough motherfucker who wears some kind of red Taiwanese Hitler outfit.
After about 15 minutes of M. Bison tap dancing on my forehead, I managed to finally defeat him in two rounds. Feeling confident, I invited a buddy of mine to come over and play. This of course meant I had to go buy a new controller, but that would be a small price to pay for beating down a friend of mine who consistently wrecks me in pool and darts.
I had fond memories of being the SF2 pimp on my block. All the neighborhood kids would come over for some good old fashioned home schooling. I can clearly recall receiving one of my most severe ass-kickings from my older brother after I smeared his ass for the 17th time in a row (serves him right for using Chun-Le, what a cunt.)
After a quick run to the store, I was out $12 dollars but richer by one SNES controller. The clerk told me that it was a generic controller, but was identical in every way except that the cord was slightly shorter in length. I jokingly said it must be to prevent all those video game addicted Japanese kids from hanging themselves. After looking at the box, I realized I must have been spot-on.
When I got home my buddy was just pulling in. I went inside with a shit eating grin on my face, already savoring my victory. As I plugged in the controller, my friend casually mentioned how he used to play STF2 in college from time to time.
He beat me mercilessly at least 20 times in a row using every character in the game...
Fuck! Oh well. Maybe we won't be as good in Final Fight, whatever the fuck that is.
This is what the generic SNES controller came in, it answers some questions, but begs so many more.
User Reviews
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dragon punch: "Sho-ryu-ken".
Fireball: "Ha-do-ken".
Whirlwind kick: "Matsui-maki-sen-pyu-kaki".
actually the kick was "Tatsu maki sen pyu kyaku", which means "spin around and kick the cunt off of you"
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-01-13 18:17:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65211
i was more of a mortal kombat man myself
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-01-13 17:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Rating Slam
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-18 12:34:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's Hadoken and Shoryuken.
Had-o-ken and Sho-ryu-ken.
The kick thing was Sho-frat-sat-burkin or something, I dunno.
Anyway M Bison was a piece of piss, you just jumped in the air and booted him in the head untill he passed out.
*footnote, that doesn't work with real taiwanese people and also it is important to remember to NEVER fight Russians because they aren't pussies like Zangeif, they are in fact immortal.
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-10-18 11:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I've been playing FF and SF2 on the mame cabinet I built non stop for like the past few months.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-18 05:28:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh man I once play a sf2 tourny for like 2 days straight.
Submitted by Phate (user info) at 2005-10-18 05:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Street Fighter = Auto +2
Ryu was not even close to Ken though.
Sorry.
Linking to SF2 posts
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56981
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57103
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2005-10-18 03:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Final fight was pretty good too, used to play that in the arcades. One of those horizontal scrolling walk and fight affairs. Some pretty brutal moves if I recall correctly.
I feel I must use my geek knowledge to correct your spelling of Ken and Ryu's exclamations:
Dragon punch: "Sho-ryu-ken".
Fireball: "Ha-do-ken".
Whirlwind kick: "Matsui-maki-sen-pyu-kaki".
Guess who also spent too much time on SFII as a kid! I never memorised all the blood types though.
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-10-18 00:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
iddqd, I look forward to that post about best console games ever, I was just talking to someone about that the other day. SF2, Legend of Zelda, Mike Tysons Punchout, Mariokart, and Ninja Gaiden rank among my top favorites (amongst others but I'll leave that to your post.)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-18 00:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We pulled out SFII for the SNES at the beach this summer. It felt SO good to relive the old days.
The next few generations' kids just aren't going to appreciate these games. I consider them at a loss.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-10-17 23:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
if you can find it, buy 'secret of mana' - possibly one of the top five console games of all time. you can play two player cooperative and it goes for hours and huors and hours of gameplay.
i call shotgun on doing top ten list of oldschool console games, just wait till my last post gets off the front page.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-10-17 23:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
indeed!