Hamster Porn (18570 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.61 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by iradney (View user info) at 2005-10-18 03:46:53 EDT
A friend of mine is an amateur photographer. His work is really good, and I keep telling him to go pro, but he doesn't listen to me. Oh well. Anyway, being a photographer, he's got a pretty nifty high-end digital camera. It's got all the bells and whistles, including the movie recording function.
Now, his then-housemate happened to have a pet hamster. For future reference, this hamster stayed in the living room, not a bedroom or anything like that. So, my buddy decides he wants to test out this feature of his camera, and sets it up by the cage. He puts a time delay on it so that it will film the hamster while it's active. Of course, hamsters are nocturnal, so it was set for night time.
So, the next morning he goes in to check out the recording. While he's picking up the camera, his housemate walks in, and starts freaking out. How dare he record her hamster, what is he, some kind of porn freak?? Bear in mind, my buddy is pretty religious, and doesn't do porn.
But the whole thing about her freaking out about porn and hamsters got me to thinking - would there actually be a market for it? Imagine, if you will, a chair. In the chair is a middle-aged man, clad in t-shirt and jeans. In front of him, his trusty computer. Together, they roam the vast plains of the WWW, searching their prey.
Finally, he stumbles across the site he's been looking for - www.hamsterwheelsex.com. He chooses a likely looking video, double clicks and unzips.
*squicka*
*squicka*
"Ooooooooooh yeah, drink from that water bottle, you filthy rodent!"
*squicka*
*squicka*
"Burrow under those wood shavings ooooh yeah, you know what daddy likes!"
*squicka squicka*
*squicka squicka*
"OOOOH GOD YES get on the wheel - MAKE THAT WHEEL TURN!"
*Squickasquickasquickasquicka SPER-LOOOOOOOOOSH*
Hey - anything's possible.
User Reviews
Submitted by deez76 (user info) at 2009-01-16 10:30:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
www.xhamster.com Good site for free porn.
Submitted by matchoo (user info) at 2006-10-20 21:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmmmmmm.
In case you missed my comment on your latest post, GO LOOK AT YOUR 'AHH SOUTH AFRICA POST'
otherwise if you feel like a good giggle, make sure you read j0andre1's "making a hampster(sic) out of a dead squirrel" post. It certainly explains his comment. One of the early ubersite classics.
Matchoo
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-23 21:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How's your man?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-18 19:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn....I was imagining you in a hamster suit.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-10-18 12:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats kinda sick and twisted...why does it excite me then? oh...right...
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2005-10-18 10:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice...
But I believe it's spelled "hampster"?
duh...
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-10-18 10:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I love it that hamsters are nude.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-10-18 08:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*squicka*
That's a funny word.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-18 08:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow- you're alive
Long time, no see
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-10-18 08:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-10-18 07:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes my gerbils endulge in activities behond my comprehension at night. I do have them in my bedroom, and in the dark I can hear the two of them manipulate metal producing a sound not unlike that of a lad's first lay, on his old iron-meshed bedstructure. The thing is, the only metal in that cage is in the ceiling, which consists of an iron mesh... If I wasn't too damn scared I'd've tried to videotape the little blighters...
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-10-18 07:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"OOOOH GOD YES get on the wheel - MAKE THAT WHEEL TURN!"
-------------
Pure gold
Submitted by corporate_whore (user info) at 2005-10-18 06:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Ooooooooooh yeah, drink from that water bottle, you filthy rodent!"
That line gave me the giggles... Pure Gold
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-18 05:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-18 05:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've heard that you're really good at this laydeee malarkey and I think you should turn 'pro'.
See? Not very nice when someone says it to you now is it?
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2005-10-18 04:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I presided over a lesbian hamster wedding. The groom bit through my girlfriend's thumb; right through the nail and into her thumb meat. I laughed.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-18 04:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
reads like drunken gerbilish
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2005-10-18 03:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was funny for some reason.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-10-18 03:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I giggled a bit.