Yeah, you fucking tell him then! (537 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.94 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CHR15 (View user info) at 2005-10-19 09:19:55 EDT
So here I am, crying into my Wheetos again.... the proffesor just smirking at me... fucking cock sucker. YEAH THATS RIGHT LAUGH! LAUGH, YOU, WITH YOUR TWO HANDS! Damnit... I dislike your stupid spectacles, and your oh so shiny lab coat...
I think back to better days, better days when I could masturbate at my own lesuire, in a foamy bathtub. (foam provided courtesy of badedas or the occasional John Smiths imitation pint bubblebath) Ah yes, those were indeed the days. Now I can only manage an awkward fumble, water gets everywhere you know...
Maybe the prof is real, maybe Nestle can help me? No, no wait I'm sure if any multinational cereal producer can grow me a hand, its probably going to be Kellogs. I can show them my corn-flakes HAHAHAHAHA! I kill me... but almost seriously though, who could want man, a gentleman even, with only one hand?
Not you, your lying to yourself if you say you would. How could I fondle both your breasts with an ailment such as this? It's lucky nobody is looking for those crack whores.
"We don't suspect the guy with one hand. No how could a loser like him murderate anyone?" I wept when I heard "Plus he looks pretty crazy...I mean what's with all the panties and bracelets in his front yard? You know what I mean? We're the police, lady, not some bunch of vigilantes who break necks at random."
Yeah I shagged her, and without the usages of viagra. Even once in the library, in the geography section.
Wait! Did you hear that? Yeah, thats my prosthetic hand, he leans a little to the right politically. He taunts me, calls me a pussy, I call him Super-fag. "Yo... hey Super-fag, wana' jerk me off while I yank this hookers hair with lefty, my real hand? Yeah thats right, your nothing to me, nothing..."
It was so stupid, man, who though mailmen would bite? It was a bite and run, I manged to jam my licence plate into the back of his skull, I gave the cops the registration.
Mmmm I wish I could spread jam on my toast again.
Thats it fuckers, I'm going to go rub my nipples on my neighbours truck, fuck him, he's a fucking jerk what?
User Reviews
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2005-10-19 13:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Huh?
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-19 11:25:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will do, Ubersite is the first writing I've done since school which was about 6 years ago. I really need to find my feet and practice, get some experience of what goes down well (no your mum jokes)
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-10-19 11:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-19 10:34:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Random crazyness is right. I like to try different approaches to see how they work out
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To be honest I'd like to see more of this kind of thing on Uber, but I just think this one could have been refined a bit. From memory I think Apollo has done some good random stuff, you should check it out.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-19 10:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Random crazyness is right. I like to try different approaches to see how they work out.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-10-19 10:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
OK, I'm going to go ahead & presume this is random crazyness, and I'm a big fan of that kind of thing ordinarily.
But this was too..... um..... all over the place. It just didn't flow at all.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-19 10:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
More hook hand goodness: http://www.ubersite.com/m/76652
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-19 10:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for everyone because I just won an xbox 360
Submitted by rayrayshanaynay (user info) at 2005-10-19 09:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
While this inspired me to read all your posts, I feel I missed something.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-19 09:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
huh?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-10-19 09:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What Spam said....
Too early and too wierd for me to come up with anything on my own.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-19 09:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who though mailmen would bite?
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*thought
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-10-19 09:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-19 09:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
odd.
very, very odd.
bizarre, even.