Abnormal Behavior (870 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.68 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Holly Golitely <hollywon1.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-10-19 20:56:39 EDT
I am getting married. We've been dating on and off for 4 months, but I truly feel ready. He is the best human being that I've ever met. This past Saturday, (Sweetest Day), he got down on one knee and told me that he knew from the second we met that he wanted to be with me for the rest of our lives. We are moving to New Jersey in April and have decided that it would be perfect timing to start our lives as a couple (meaning, the wedding will be some time in the spring). He doesn't currently live with me (believe it, or not, he lives with his ex due to complicated circumstances), but we plan to buy a house when we move and are happily married. He's only 23, but he's wise beyond his years. He challenges me and doesn't put up with my bullshit. He broke up with his "ex" two months before we met, so we wavered between being serious, not very serious, and life altering serious in the time we've been together. I think it's made us stronger. I don't have a ring yet, because we decided that it was more important to focus on getting a down payment for our home. Besides, a ring is just a symbol of the true love that he shows me every day. I don't need a diamond to prove the things that he constantly reminds me of.
I instant messaged my best friend in the world (more like a sister) tonight to ask for her address. She gave it to me, then asked "what is going on"? I told her the great news. She wanted to make sure that my soon to be hubby wasn't just using me to get back at his "ex". I told her that I am very suspicious by nature, and he surely could not pull one over one me. She agreed.
So, I sat back in my chair in complete disbelief. Does she really think I am that big of an ass? Could she actually think that I would accept a proposal on SWEETEST FUCKING DAY?! That I would agree to marry a boy who still lives with his EX GIRLFRIEND?!
I had purchased a Halloween card for her earlier in the day (it's hilarious because it has women drinking beer on the front, then you open it and it says "we don't need no stinkin' candy" on the inside.......get it!? HAHA....we like to drink beer! Haha). When she asked me why I needed her address, this story just flowed through my fingers and in no way did I think she'd buy it........BUT SHE DID.
I felt badly about myself for a moment. Not because I had completely fabricated a story and literally asked her to be my Maid of Honor, but because she bought it hook, line, and sinker. This can not be a good. She either thinks I'm crazy, or that I was born without my prefrontal cortex. This is a woman who has known me for most of my life........and she believes me. I even told her that I'd found one of his ex-girlfriend's hairs on his sweater, for Christ's sake.
THEN, I realized that I don't normally lie. People who know me, and have chosen to stick around, for a period of time, do not expect me to lie. I am brutally honest. I am jerkishly honest, even. SO, SHE BELIEVED ME! What fun it is to lie! I laughed myself into a tizzy! I tricked her and it was fun!
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-31 14:38:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, i read all that about the hook up and thought "damn, that sounds all kinds of fucked" and then you turned out to be a big freakin liar. that's probably better
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-11-02 15:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't start lying too much, you won't be able to stop...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-28 22:33:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<smirk>
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-20 19:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forbid you to marry him.
no, really.
(how can I stalk you if you're married?????)
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-10-20 10:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was ready to slam the piss out of you for being a fuck-tard after the first paragraph. Glad to see you have the grey matter going on.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-10-20 10:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will admit I almost didn't finish it and was ready to -2 you.
what I don't get is the people who are giving it a +2 or a zero, and trying to talk you out of marriage.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-10-20 09:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DATZ GUD ADVYC XCUZES
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-20 06:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't get married...
You have less than 50% chance of working out
Just become a slut and sleep with many men, that's my advice
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-20 06:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never believed any of this because we both know that you are my woman and you'll be coming over as soon as you've resolved that situation with your ex.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-10-19 23:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO STROS!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-10-19 23:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was onto you as soon as you said "He's only 23, but he's wise beyond his years."
NOBODY who's in their 20s is wise* to any extent.
*Note to all you 20whatevers: Having a matrix in your head that tells you how much water to drink and when after how many hits of what label of ecstacy does not count as wisdom.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-10-19 22:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was reading the first paragraph and thinking "What the fucking fuck? I never knew she was an idiot."
Forgive me. :(
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-10-19 22:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Method, that hurts my feelings. I think you're saying that I'm materialistic. I would totally get married without a ring.
Okay, I'm kidding.....I want at least three karats.
JUST FUCKING KIDDING AGAIN.
Geezus, I'm a good fooler.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-10-19 22:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Jeezuschrist don't ket married EVER.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-19 22:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha I started reading this and thought "ok, who stole her password?"
pretty funny stuff
(The ring thing made me laugh, btw)
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-19 21:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're a psycho (takes one to know one)
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-10-19 21:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
COURZ I KAYM BAK YO
LOLZ DAT GUY DONT NO NO INGLISH AN HE THINKZ UR GETIN MARYD
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-10-19 21:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
belived is the cool way to say believed
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-10-19 21:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahah! He/she belived me, too!
I am a great liar!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-19 21:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude! Did you stop reading a third of the way through??
I hate idiots.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2005-10-19 21:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sweetest day doesn't mean shit. It's a holiday made up to sell more greeting cards. If you think that he couldn't possibly be using you to get back at his ex because he proposed on a fake holiday, you're a naive idiot. I would never advise marrying someone you have dated less than a year. I have been with my gf for over 3 years, and I find out new things about her on a daily basis, some of which are serious enough that I am glad I know them and didn't have to wait until after marriage to find out. I knew I wanted to marry her the moment we started dating, and that hasn't changed in 3 years, but you don't know enough about him yet. Good luck, I hope things don't blow up in your face, sincerely. Keep us posted.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-10-19 21:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was hoping you'd come back, forthewin!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-19 21:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This would be a +2 if I hadn't already heard this one....
AH! YOU GOT PUNK'D!
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-10-19 21:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
UZ A LIAR AN U POSTIN DA SAME TING 2 TYMZ WTF
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-10-19 20:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whew.