GrUeberfest Entry - Callahan's Box (669 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CHR15 (View user info) at 2005-10-20 11:56:02 EDT
Callahan's Box
Part I
Joseph Peter Callahan, as it is told, was growing into a fine young man. Having been brought up in a middle class household in north London, Harrow on the hill to be specific, he gained a place at The Harrow School for Boys. This suited his father as it meant Joseph would board at the school most of the year. It also suited Mr Callahan as he was "a busy man!", always a new contract or file to read through and "check, check and check again!". The only real time they spent together was at the docks of the Thames where Joseph's father was a port inspector, he listed all the dock's traffics and cargoes.
Jo had always been closer to his mother, she being the only one who had ever showed him any real love. Her name was Sally, she was quite tall, maybe five foot ten, stick thin with long, straight but in a way messy blonde hair. This was mostly in contrast to Mr Callahan and Jo, who although tall, had dark hair and dark eyes. When Jo turned sixteen and started to board at his new school, Mr Callahan was forced to employ a maid to help around the house, but also to care for Sally, she had suffered from Multiple Sclerosis for almost a decade, and with Jo gone she seemed to give up the fight. It was only three years previously that her doctor's diagnosis had been confirmed by Dr William Moxon who, in 1873 gave a name to the crippling disease.
The years passed by, Jo's mother continued to deteriorate, eventually passing on while Jo studied accounting at Oxford, his father had taken his own life when Sally passed away. Jo attended the funerals with a mixture of distant family, neighbours and old friends. He accepted a job with a prestigious bank in London, where he worked for nearly five years before disappearing without a trace.
The Callahan house and possessions were claimed by relatives, happy to inherit such a fine property. Jo's life from here on is a mystery, the next time he was seen he was shot dead by Soldiers near Simla in India. From the report compiled on the incident it appears he ambushed the soldiers killing two in a frenzied attack with a bamboo spear. The soldiers described a gaunt, untidy man with long untidy hair and a beard to match. He wore only a ripped cloth garment and a small oak box attached to string around his neck.
That is as much as I know about the origins of Callahan's box, of what the box is however I know far more...
Part II
I love Cyprus, such an amazing country. It has sunny, sandy beaches with a clear blue sea, snow-capped hilltops, small out of the way villages in close proximity to large "party cities" like Pathos and Aiya Napa. My story is based in a medium sized town called Polis. Polis is located on the North Western end of Cyprus, it is thriving yet it still has all the charm you would expect from Mediterranean coastal town. Small winding back alleys, beautiful old villas and quirky, dusty old bars and shops.
I gave Craig a look that said "I think you're an idiot" I though I saw a flash in his eyes, they seemed to glow for just a split second in a luminous yellow, I shrugged it off telling myself that my eyes had not yet adjusted to the gloom in the back of the old shop.
"I like it man, it's not like I've bought anything else on this holiday." His brow furrowed as he tried to make out the wording on the lid of the small oak box,
"Bathin? What do you reckon that means?"
"I really don't know man, can we just go get our drink on?" It was starting to get dark and I really needed to ingest some alcohol.
"Ok, ok I'll just pay for this and we'll go get a couple of cold ones."
We had drunk a fair amount as the night went on and although we were not at the point of total inebriation, we certainly were not sober. I gazed around the shabby bar, the light inside seemed almost amber, there really wasn't much to the place. Behind a simple darkwood bar stood a portly Greek barman, sporting a stained white vest and a couple of days worth of stubble. Several locals were dotted around the bar and the few tables. In the corner there sat a dark haired man with fair skin.
"Can you smell that Craig?" I caught the faint smell of sulphur in the air. Craig stuffed some peanuts into his mouth especially ungracefully even for him, he was a big bloke not so much broad but very tall with short brown hair and a tattoo of an ex-girlfriends name on his left forearm.
"pffrrrhats vffat? He managed to cover me in tiny bits of peanuts
"I can smell sulphur, and it's definitely getting stronger."
"frrpwel ah phhran't" I interrupted him, "What the hell man your nose is bleeding!" Craig spat the last of his peanuts right down my front, and started wiping at his bloody nose.
"Aww crap, lets get out of here, I need to wash my face off, we can go down to the beach." We both carefully stood up, I gave the barman a nod and we set off down the dusty, winding, cobbled slope towards the beach.
We stumbled on to the beach, the way down had seen Craig start to cough violently, blood forcing it's way past his hand at each one. I couldn't tell if it was blood from his nose or whether it was coming up from his insides.
"Maybe we should just sit for..." but he just pushed passed me and stumbled almost blindly to the waters edge, where he knelt, almost falling face first into the salty brine. The night was warm and the sea smooth as glass, I felt myself lie back on the sand, my eyelids closed.
I felt something soaking through my shirt and as I groggily began to wake, the smell of sulphur was overpowering. I opened my eyes and pushed myself so I was sitting upright.
"Hello Andrew" I was physically sick, the rasp of the voice and the sulphur in the air churned my stomach. I looked up, standing in front of me was the figure of a man, the skin and muscle gone from his face, a border close to the scalp and chin the only remaining leaving only a skull, the eye sockets lit up in a brilliant luminous yellow. A mush of the remaining tissue dripped from his jawbone onto my shirt.
"I am Bathin, a duke of hell." His voice cut through my skull, it was like the sudden shock of a television changing to white noise at a loud volume. He looked up and cracked his neck, then continued.
"Mmmm I have waited for so long, yeees, this time it was easy" He reached forward and grabbed my neck, pulling me from the sand. I saw the tattoo on his arm "Alison"
"Craig!" I choked.
For a few seconds I was unconscious.
"Welcome back Andrew. There were no witchdoctors to stop me thisss time!" His skin was still pealing from his body, I could feel the tips of his fingers now as bone against my neck.
"I need a gateway, yesss, you will be my gateway. Through you my thirty legions can enter this plane, oh do not worry, Andrew, you will live, you will live long enough to see my army, yesss."
He threw me back to the ground, raising his hands to the dark sky and tilting his head back, I mustered all the strength I could and raised myself stumbling away. I felt a searing pain in my left arm and I fell to the ground, I looked to source of the pain, my arm was gone just below the shoulder.
"Hahahaha, no, you are not going anywhere!" It was only now I saw his tail, about five feet long, black and scaly. The tip was razor sharp. He landed a punch to my ribs I felt several break and let out a scream of agony, by this time the sea had become choppy the waves muffling my cry.
"ABIIT EVASIT!" Bathin screamed at the night sky. I felt my chest expand and contract painfully, clouds had started to swirl far above us.
As my chest felt ready to burst open I screamed again, the most blood curdling scream I have ever heard from a man... wait that wasn't me, there was someone else. I tried to focus at first I could see a well dressed man running towards Bathin, but as my eyes focused properly it became clear he was wearing nothing but dirty cloth and his hair and beard were wholly unkempt. He dived on the demon, both of them rolling and clawing for the upper hand....
"kchung" the tape stopped playing.
"That was just freaky Martin! Where did you get it" The girl looked pale
"My mum brought it home from the loony bin! One of her new patients, some freak with one arm made it, she thought it would be cool for Halloween!"
User Reviews
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-21 19:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had a bit of trouble following this.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-21 02:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had horse tranquilizers with my cereal this morning.
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The only way to start a day.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-20 21:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-20 12:42:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok I didn't mention the narrators name until then purposefully, it just seemed to fit the story. Craig had a weak enough mind for Bathin to take control of his body through callahan's box. I metioned that craig had a tattoo of an ex girlfriends name on his arm earlier in the story.
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HOLY CRAP I must be stupid. I didn't even get that he took over Craig's body.
I had horse tranquilizers with my cereal this morning.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sometimes had touble following the flow, but overall, I wish I could write like that.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This could have been a smoother read.
But thank Christ for a change of locale in an Ubertale.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My bad I don't know why I hit +2
*slaps self*
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks everyone!
In a few of my posts people have commented that my writing doesn't flow too well, thats something I'm going to need to work on!
Orgasmatron shoot me an email when you post yours! prez_ident.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best i've read yet
there were issues with formating, but i wouldn't hold that against you.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Solid entry. I lose the story line occasionally but it does not hurt the overall effect of the story.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had a hard time following some of this. It could have been the format on the dialogue. I really dug how you used the title.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like I've got to ratchet my offering up a few notches.
A few bumps aside, I'd say this is the best story in the competition that I've read so far.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:18:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it well enough, I did find some of it disjointed but not terribly hard to follow. It just didn't flow smoothly. The story itself though was very good and definitely fit the bill for the comp.
I find it funny this is the second of these that I've read and seen past/passed confused. Funny because one mistook past for passed and the other made the opposite error.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But it's a 1.5
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn Fine dude damn fine.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had no issue following the story and found it to be an excellent little bit of horror.
You get my first +2 for this round of entries.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-20 13:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Right then I'm going to get high, I hope someone out there gets this!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-10-20 13:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm having trouble following.
Could be that I'm still drunk from last night though.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-20 12:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yuh my writing tends to be a bit abstract, not everyone is going to get it.
For those of you who don't speak Latin ABIIT EVASIT means He has Escaped
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-20 12:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, but I had a hard time putting the sequence together, as well as keeping track of the charactors.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-10-20 12:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not really reading these, as I'm not in the mood for actual GOOD writing today, but I've got to say... these titles are excellent. Kudos to the ones who thought of them.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-20 12:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok I didn't mention the narrators name until then purposefully, it just seemed to fit the story. Craig had a weak enough mind for Bathin to take control of his body through callahan's box. I metioned that craig had a tattoo of an ex girlfriends name on his arm earlier in the story.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-20 12:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The idea was pretty good. I found myself getting confused when you started switching locales. I don't think the name of the narrator was mentioned until the demon said it, which made me say, "Who's Andrew? Oh, the guy." I was also a little further confused with what happened to Craig and why the demon had a chick's name tatooed on his arm.