Home (Part 1) (361 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.78 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chronic Master Baiter (View user info) at 2005-10-20 14:17:19 EDT
"Sir, we are nearing it"
Beyond the vastness of space, Captain Zellwinger could see a blue globe that beared the scars of humanity. Even from space he could tell that a lot had changed.
He was in his mid-forties. Many years of hiding in space had weared him down. He had originally lost most of his family in the original invasion several decades ago. All he had was his crew of five hundred who were protected by the bulkheads of this warship.
Her name was "Salvation". From the surface of any colony, people would dread at the sight of a dagger in space.Powered by several water-reactors, she had the ability to stay in space for many centuries, or so it was stated on the original design papers. Not only that, she had the ability to nurture a crew of five hundred. Small ecosystems on the port side kept the crew alive. A small magnetic field was generated to keep all particles within the ship to stop any leakage of oxygen. In a way, supplies were always constant.
Zellwinger turned on his heel and faced his communications officer on deck.
"Make contact. We are going to make a grand entrance. Oh yes, also mention that the crew should report to the deck"
Several minutes later, the deck filled up with people.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are home. Begin the ceremony"
At that moment, everyone procurred a weapon. The captain pulled out a pistol shot his communications officer. Several seconds later, the deck filled with gunfire, killing anything and everything. The captain let out a warcry "Jalalalalala-bad!" and started shooting random officers. In return, the officers started shooting at him and each other. In no time, half the people on the ship who were on the deck were dead or dying. It was a free-for-all. The rest of the officers continued shooting at each other. Within minutes the last person standing was a skipper who had taken a wound to the shoulder.
Moments later, the screen on deck showed a picture of a aged man.
"Welcome to Earth. It has been a long time since we saw yo....what the hell!"
User Reviews
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2005-10-20 22:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:27:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you related to Electro, by any chance?
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aaaaaaaahhhhahahaha
mr. dependable method
Submitted by Cam (user info) at 2005-10-20 20:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had trouble from the get go with Zellwinger being the main character. I pictured Renee.
Submitted by johnhutch (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
His name is Master Baiter. How clever and original (originally original) could he really be?
Not very.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it had promise for about 1/10th of a second.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:27:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you related to Electro, by any chance?
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Hahahahahaa Why Method, whatever do you mean? Hahahahahaha.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He had originally lost his original family in the original invasion...
That's original! And, that's as far as I got too. Sorry.
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
<raised eyebrow> huh?
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was going to be a +2 until the nonsensical slaughter commenced.
You kind of tried to make it make some kind of obscure point at the end though so -1. NEEDS MORE INSANITY.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you related to Electro, by any chance?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-20 14:26:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
'a blue globe that beared the scars of humanity'