Uber: Make Me Laugh (2969 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.42 on 125 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by _Q_ (View user info) at 2005-10-20 15:02:15 EDT
I thought I'd start a string for people to leave their all time favourite jokes in the replies.
It's pretty rare that you hear a joke that you actually laugh at the first time you hear it, but here are a few of my faves to get things started:
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A man is out grocery shopping when he goes up to the cashier to pay for his items. In his basket were a tube of toothpaste, a bag of apples, some pork chops, and deodorant.
He lays them out on the conveyor belt when he notices that the cashier is a very cute brunette that looks to be about his age, and can't help but smile when she greets him.
She smiles back, saying "You know, I hate to say this, but I bet that you are single. Am I right?"
Astonished, the man replies "Why yes I am, could you tell that just by what I am buying?"
To which the girl says, "No, it's because you're ugly."
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Okay, maybe that's not Uber's speed... how about this one?
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What did the little boy in the wheelchair get for christmas?
Cancer!
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That's more like it. Now here's a picture shot by world-class photographer, Eric D. Rice.
User Reviews
Submitted by bowser (user info) at 2005-10-24 21:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://content.ytmnd.com//62000/62016/image.gif
I think the picture speaks for itself.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-10-24 19:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:47:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Where are an elephants sex organs?
In its feet......If it stands on you, you're fucked.
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Nope, elephants have very sensitive feet and will never crush anything with them, thats why everyone does that circus trick with them.
Stuff like that bothers me
Submitted by Wrightcopy (user info) at 2005-10-24 16:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are running from the police when they've reached a dead end and are about to get caught. The brunette notices there are some potato sacks lying on the ground and suggests that they each hide in one. So they all get in a bag and wait for the police to go away. A cop reaches the dead end, sees the bags, and starts to wonder what's in them. He goes to the first one, with the brunette in it, and starts to lift it up to check when the brunette meows. The cop figures it's a cat and moves on to the next one. He does the same, and the red head barks like a dog. Thinking it's a dog he moves to the last one. He starts to lift the bag when the blonde says, "Potatoes."
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A brunette, a red head, and a blonde are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. The brunette suggests that they stay out of the car so they can pay more attention to cars possibly driving down the road. Then the red head suggests that they each take something with them to keep themselves cool, considering they're in the desert. The brunette takes a bottle of water. The red head brings a battery powered fan. The two of them are sitting by the road waiting for the blonde when they finally see her dragging the car door behind her. The two of them look at her like she's crazy and ask, "Why are you dragging the car door?" The blonde replies, "I want to roll the window down when I get hot."
Submitted by alas_me (user info) at 2005-10-24 08:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-10-20 18:12:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why can Stevie Wonder not read?
Cos He's Black.
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This made me cry like a schoolgirl.
How do you know when your sister's having her period?
Your Dad's cock tastes of blood/shit
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-10-24 06:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A man is pissed when his wife hands him a shopping list with Tampax on it. He hides the box under the other grocery items and goes red-faced through the checkout line. "I need a price check on Tampax!" the cashier yells. The stock boy runs to the thumb tack display and yells back, "are those the regular kind or the ones you pound in with a hammer?!"
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2005-10-24 06:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's blue and fucks old ladies?
Pneumonia.
Submitted by okokididitbutiwasdrunk (user info) at 2005-10-23 22:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Two sperms are swimming along when one turns to the other and says "Man, I'm tired, have we reached the uterus yet?" The other one says "Shit, we haven't even passed the esophagus."
Submitted by malefic (user info) at 2005-10-23 01:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
"I feel like a kid again."
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What did one pedophile say to the other?
"I'll give you two fives for a ten."
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A guy and girl are making out when she pulls away from him.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"Well . . . you're almost twenty-eight, right?" she says.
"Yeah," he says, "why?"
"Doesn't that make you a pedophile?"
"Wow," he replies, "that's an awfully big word for a seven-year-old!"
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One day an eleven-year-old boy and his ten-year-old sister are left alone together in the house.
The two kids begin talking about "it," and pretty soon they decide to try having sex.
After they're done, the boy says, "Wow, you're even better than Mom!"
"I know," says the girl, "that's what Dad says too."
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A little girl wakes up on a school day and goes into the bathroom. Her mom is coming out of
the shower and doesn't have time to cover herself when her daughter walks in.
"Mommy, what's that?" asks the little girl.
"It's a vagina, dear," says her mom.
"When will I get one?"
"When you're a teenager. Now go use the bathroom."
The little girl walks into the other bathroom and sure enough, there's her father stepping out of
the shower.
"Daddy, what's that?" asks the girl.
"It's a penis, sweetie," he says.
"When will I get one of those?"
"As soon as your mother leaves for work."
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A man and a boy are out on a chilly night, walking into a forest.
It starts to rain and thunder, and they can hear wolves howling.
The boy says, "It's dark! I don't like it! I'm scared!"
The man says, "YOU'RE scared? I've got to walk back out of here on my own!"
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A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey Pop, know how old I am today?"
His father says, "How old?"
He says, "I'm eleven!"
He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"
She says, "Come closer..."
He comes closer, and she unzips his jeans and reaches in and feels around for a few minutes.
"You're eleven," she says.
"How could you tell?" he asks.
"I heard you tell your father."
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-10-22 17:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, this one is kind of long, but it's my absolute favorite...
A married woman is having an affair, and one day her husband comes home as she's going at it, so she sticks her lover in the dark closet. Lo and behold, her young son is in there, and he has seen everything.
"So... I've got a baseball. Wanna buy it?" asks the youngster.
The lover says no, but the little boy threatens to tell his daddy, so the man ends up buying it off of him for $300.
The next day, the same thing happens, except this time the little boy sells his mitt for $400. It happens once more, and the little boy makes $500.
Later, when the dad asks his young son to go out in the yard for a game of catch, the boy proudly announces that he no longer has his baseball gear, but he sold it for $1200. The dad is very angry that his son would dare rip off his friends like that, so he takes the boy to church to confess to the priest.
As soon as the boy enters the dark confessional booth, he says, "So... I've got a baseball..."
The priest replies, "Don't start that shit again!"
Submitted by HighFructoseCornSyrup (user info) at 2005-10-22 15:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Q: What is the best argument for legalized euthanasia?
A: Electro!
Submitted by sealclubber (user info) at 2005-10-22 15:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
what's the difference between a freezer and a faggot?
a freezer doesn't fart when you take the meat out
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-10-22 14:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A man's sitting in his living room watching TV when his best friend bursts in through the door, obviously upset about something.
The man looks at his friend and says, "What's wrong? Did something happen?"
His friend controls himself and says, "God, I'm so sorry. I was driving home today and I saw your wife crossing the street with groceries in her arms and then...my god...out of nowhere this car flew through the intersection and hit her. It was terrible! There was blood and vegetables and potatoes everywhere. I'm so sorry."
The man just looks at his feet, frowning slightly.
"So..." says his friend, "what are you going to do?"
"Geez...I dunno. Spaghetti?"
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-10-22 14:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Once upon a time there was a boy with a wooden eye. All the other kids made fun of him 'cause he had a wooden eye and...I don't know, I guess it looked weird.
Anyway, there was a dance at his school and he didn't want to go because he was self-conscious about his eye and thought the kids would make fun of him if he went.
Finally his mom forced him to go in the hopes that he'd make a friend.
At the dance he sat in the corner by himself for a while and watched everyone else dancing. He felt really left out.
Then a girl with a wooden leg came to sit down next to him and they got to talking, and the boy started to feel more confident. He gathered his courage and asked...
"Do you want to dance?"
"Wouldn't I!" replied the girl with a big smile.
The boy stood stunned.
"Oh yeah? Well FUCK YOU, PEG LEG!" he roared and ran out of the dance hall.
I didn't say it was a good joke.
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-10-22 14:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Q - What's the difference between a jew and a pizza
A - 5 minutes of cooking time
====================================================
I didn't read all of the comments so this might be already here...
Q - What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A - A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
or....
Q - What do I have in common with a fresh pizza?
A - We're both hot and cheesy
Also...
Q - What food is garunteed to stop a womans sex drive?
A - Wedding Cake
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-10-22 14:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-20 21:11:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
A man walks into a bar with a big green head shaped like a pumpkin.
The bartender sees him and says "Wow, there must be a good story behind this. Tell me it,
and i'll give you a free beer.
The man says "OK, i was walking along the beach when i tripped on something. Investigating,
i discovered it was a lamp, i rubbed it and a genie came out and gave me three wishes.
For my first wish, i asked for a massive house full of cake. Lo and behold, a huge house
emerged from the sand. Second, i asked for a wife who cared about nothing but sex and cake.
Lo and behold a beautiful woman came out from behind the house."
"And the third wish?" asked the bartender
"I asked for a big green head shaped like a pumpkin."
_____________________
this made me laugh like a retard at a frog pond.
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-10-22 14:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A man and a woman get married in Alabama. After a a few years, they decide to try the high life in California, so they up and move to sunny Los Angeles to try their luck. Night after night, the husband comes home in a drunken stupor, occasionally with lipstick smears on his collar. Finally, after having had enough of his dirnking and cheating, the wife decides to file for divorce.
Now the question is this: If they move back to Alabama....
....Are they still brother and sister?
OR
If they move back to Alabama, are their kids still inbred?
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-10-22 13:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How Are a TexasTornado And a TennesseeDivorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-10-22 13:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How about this one then...
A salesman is nervous about his upcoming meeting with an important client that is coming all the way from Japan to work out a deal with the company he works for. He has heard that the Japanese work hard, but party even harder, and that if you want to close a deal you have to show them a good time. He's come up with a plan to take his client golfing at one of the most prestegious golf courses in his area.
Unable to shake the nervous edge the night before his client arrives, the man goes out to the local massage parlor to get himself a prostitute. In a strange coincidence, the girl he ends up getting is Japanese. Nearing the end of the 'session' things are getting heated and the girl allows him to mount her for an extra $150. As he is entering her she squeals and says "Kongi Gawa! Kongi Gawa!" which delights the man immensely. Assured of himself, he thinks that this means something along the lines of "That's great!". He quickly finishes and returns home to a peaceful rest for the big day tomorrow.
He greets his client and takes him out to the golf course, and things are going great. The client manages to sink a miraculous 50 foot putt on the third, and the salesman exclaims "Kongi Gawa!".
Confused, the client laughs and responds.. "What do you mean 'wrong hole'?".
HA!
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-10-22 11:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What does the donut say when it's time to leave???
.....
"Let's get the hole outta here!"
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-10-21 19:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you call 1000 lesbians wielding machetes, machine guns, and guitars?
Militia Etheridge.
And in light of the recent anniversary of his death:
What was the headline of Denver's newspaper the day John Denver died?
Denver Nuggets over Golden State.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-21 15:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love how Eric Rice is still attacked by the Ubermob, even one year after his departure.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-21 15:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not very good at remembering jokes. Here's one I recieved in my email this morning:
===
A guy wakes up at home with a huge hangover and not entirely sobered up. He forces his eyes open and the first thing he sees are aspirins and a glass of water on the lamp table.
He sits on the bed and on the floor he sees his clothes, clean and folded. He looks around and everything his clean, impeccably clean.
He swallows the aspirins and reads a post-it he hadn't notice:
"Honey, the breakfast is on the table. I love you"
Perplexed, he goes to the kitchen where is breakfast is waiting and his morning paper is sitting beside it. His son is at the table too.
- Tell me son, what happened last night?
- Oh you came home singing, drunk like a pig at 3 O'clock. You tossed a few porcelaine on the floor, threw up in the corridor and on top of that, you punched mom in the face thinking you were attacked by coyotes.
- But tell me why everything is in order, my clothes are clean, why my breakfast is waiting nicely on the table?
- Well, when mommy took you to the bedroom and tried to take off your pants, you said: "Leave me alone, you whore! I'm married!"
====
I hope you haven't heard it before, I had to translate that shit.
Now here's a few jokes brought to me by some parisian girl I know:
Q - How do you fit 7 jews in a Peugeot?
A - 2 in the front, the rest in the ashtrays
Q - What's a grain of rice in the sink
A - An ethiopian who threw up all night
Q - What's a real dillema for a jew
A - Free ham.
Q - What are traces of claws on a table
A - A jew who took his money
Q - What's the difference between a jew and a pizza
A - 5 minutes of cooking time
At a tribunal, a judge asks the defendant:
- I have seen horrible characters in my carreer, but like you, never. Do you realize what you've done?...raping a dead woman, it's horrible!
- Ah but I didn't know she was dead your honor...I thought she was an anglophone.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-10-21 14:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-20 19:15:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
OK...I'll try
How do you make a cat lick your asshole?
By force.
Testing...2....2....is this thing on?
My writers are on strike.
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I'm going to get fired.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-10-21 11:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-21 11:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...and then he was like, "Rectum, it nearly killed him!"
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-21 10:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am going to be your roomate....yayyy
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-21 10:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How can you tell if a blonde is anxious?
Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-21 09:39:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-21 06:56:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
I never get any calls- what's wrong with me?
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Berty
People like us don't deserve social lives mate. We should just be grateful they let us look at the pretty people rather than sending us to toil to death in the salt mines.
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I feel so horrible about myself now, thanks Berty
*drinks posion*
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I'll call you fellows. That is, if you don't mind speaking to a quasi-retarded mongoloid, with an overpowering body odor problem.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-21 06:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never get any calls- what's wrong with me?
------------
Berty
People like us don't deserve social lives mate. We should just be grateful they let us look at the pretty people rather than sending us to toil to death in the salt mines.
--------------------
I feel so horrible about myself now, thanks Berty
*drinks posion*
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-10-21 06:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this one is in very bad taste, but what is the difference between cockneys and smarties?
smarties don't go bang in the tube.
what do you call a camel with four humps?
saudi quattro.
what's the biggest problem for atheists?
nobody to talk to during orgasm.
finally: What is this world coming to? first, everyone in new Orleans gets a swimming pool, and now the pakistani's can see sky in every house!
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-10-21 06:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Q- Why did the Baker have brown fingers?
A- Because he kneeded a poo.
Submitted by wileyfinger (user info) at 2005-10-21 06:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why didnt anyone hear Helen Keller fall off the bridge?
She was wearing her mittens
or...
Why is New York full of Blacks and L.A. full of queers?
New York got first pick
or perhaps...
Why do shower heads have 11 holes?
Cuz Jews only have 10 fingers
and finally...
What do they say on Ellis Island
Never let a Dago (Day Go) by.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-21 06:07:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-21 05:49:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:53:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
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Yeah, I'm bored. You need to call me back. I tagged you last.
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Did you? Ok. I'll call you later baby cakes.
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I never get any calls- what's wrong with me?
------------
People like us don't deserve social lives mate. We should just be grateful they let us look at the pretty people rather than sending us to toil to death in the salt mines.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-21 05:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:53:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
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Yeah, I'm bored. You need to call me back. I tagged you last.
--------------------
Did you? Ok. I'll call you later baby cakes.
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I never get any calls- what's wrong with me?
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Two biscuits are walking down the road. One turned to the other and said: "Hello!"
The other one jumped back and yelled: "Holy fuck a talking biscuit!!!"
Two biscuits are walking down the road. One asked the other: "where do you live?"
The other replied: "I'm not telling you, you might nick my washing"
Ok they're only funny if you're fucked off your head.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's brown and funny?
Clown poo.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms
Submitted by erinly (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I one the lottery!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you break a blonde's nose?
Place a dildo under a glass table!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:13:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well dagnabit! baddassmofo got to it before me!!
bah!
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why did the kid fall off the swing?
Because he didn't have any arms.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-10-20 22:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OKay okay I was hoping that I still had this in my inbox. aparently I don't though so I'm
gonna have to wing it here.
stop me if you've heard it!
======================
George Bushe's cabinet members file into the room for the weekly meeting.
"Mr President! Mr president! Today three brazillion soldiers were killed!"
The president looks stunned then lets out a sob and puts his head down.
His cronies look alarmed at the unexpected show of grief.
He lifts his head from his hands and asks "how many is a brazillion?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-10-20 22:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:30:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:04:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
"What does a gay horse eat?"
Haaay.
Props to Munkeypants for that one.
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Paula stole that joke from me. Ask her.
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It's 100% true. Terry, that is the best joke I have ever heard. You bet your ass I retold it!!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-10-20 22:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why don't women wear watches?
there's a clock on the fucking stove.
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2005-10-20 22:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
haha that girlz is teh stoopid
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2005-10-20 22:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what's long, black, and smells like shit?
the line at the wellfare office.
the line at the homeless shelter.
the line to the astro-dome
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-10-20 21:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What did Hellen Keller name her dog?
uuuuuuuhhhhijhjhkjhkjhkhhhhhkjhgghghhhhh
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-10-20 21:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, ok. Here's mine...
The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man sticks his dick in your butt and you say.....
That's big.
AAAAARRHHHAGGGHKJLHOIJHIJHGU7YT8767687676567 HAHAHA89UYA987AU8HAUHAHAHAHA! GODDAMN I'M AWESOME! Oh snap! Cowabunga dudes!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:16:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
A bus carrying ugly people crashes into an on coming truck, and everyone inside dies.
They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced, he decides to grant them one wish each - before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is.
"I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous - but when God is halfway
down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says, "Make 'em all ugly again."
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-20 21:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How do you turn a dishwasher into a lawnmower?
Give the bitch a pair of scissors.
__________
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.
__________
What did Jesus say when they took him down from the cross?
Nothing. He was dead.
__________
A man walks into a bar with a big green head shaped like a pumpkin.
The bartender sees him and says "Wow, there must be a good story behind this. Tell me it,
and i'll give you a free beer.
The man says "OK, i was walking along the beach when i tripped on something. Investigating,
i discovered it was a lamp, i rubbed it and a genie came out and gave me three wishes.
For my first wish, i asked for a massive house full of cake. Lo and behold, a huge house
emerged from the sand. Second, i asked for a wife who cared about nothing but sex and cake.
Lo and behold a beautiful woman came out from behind the house."
"And the third wish?" asked the bartender
"I asked for a big green head shaped like a pumpkin."
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-20 21:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why did God make black people smell so bad?
So blind people could hate them too
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-10-20 20:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This rich fella is looking for a place to drink and he walks into a local bar. Looking around for a bit, he sees the last remaining seat up at the counter next to a local pleb. So the rich guy goes up, grabs a few drinks and soon enough the rich man and the commoner strike up conversation:
"I should probably be out looking for a present for my wife for our anniversary." says the rich man while sipping down a beer.
"Yeah," replies the commoner "Me too, mate. It's the Mrs' birthday soon. Got any idea what you're gong to get her?"
"Yeah..." answers richie "I'm gonna get her a Porsche and a Ferrari."
"Bloody oath!" exclaims the poor fella "Why two?"
"Well, the way i see it, if she doesn't like the Porsche she can drive the ferrari. If she doesn't like the ferrari she can drive the porsche.... What are you getting your wife?"
"Oh," says the poor guy "I'm gonna get her a dressing gown and a dildo!"
"Uh, why?"
"The way i see it, if she doesn't like the gown, she can go fuck herself."
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2005-10-20 20:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you get a lawyer down from a tree?
cut the rope.
OHOHOHOHOH
i seriously have a good one.
A string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. "wtf," the bartender begins, "a talking string? hell, .. we don't serve strings."
Another string walks into the bar, and asks for a drink. "Dude, we don't serve strings. Period." states the bartender.
ANOTHER string walks into the same bar asking for a drink. "SERIOUSLY, SCREW OFF. if you come back again,.. i'll cut you."
so, the three strings tie themselves together. walking into the bar, they strut their stuff. "hit me up with some booze, yo"
the bartender, furious, comes around the counter threatening them with scissors. "you're not the same string that's been coming in here, are you?"
"nope, i'm a frayed knot."
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Submitted by starshine (user info) at 2005-10-20 19:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
-you can unscrew a lightbulb
why did the blonde snort sweet n low?
-she thought it was diet coke
knock knock?
who's there?
dirteege
dirteege who
dirty...jew
HAR HAR
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-20 19:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Halley's Comet must have just flew by my monitor because Mick Ginny made me laugh!
Submitted by starshine (user info) at 2005-10-20 19:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy you're so funny.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-10-20 19:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how do you keep a horny dog from humping your leg?
pick him up and blow him.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-20 19:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK...I'll try
How do you make a cat lick your asshole?
By force.
Testing...2....2....is this thing on?
My writers are on strike.
Submitted by punkerrjess (user info) at 2005-10-20 18:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
my fave:
Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares, why is she out of the kitchen and where did the bitch get those shoes?
aahahahahahaa
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-10-20 18:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
66 reviews and not one mention of the clown joke:
How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree?
Hit him in the face with an axe.
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-10-20 18:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why can Stevie Wonder not read?
Cos He's Black.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
Cos he doesn't know he's black.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 18:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does a dog lick its penis?
Because it can't make a fist.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 18:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the best thing about having sex with 26 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course now it's "Asian friend Tom." Next it'll be your hispanic friend Esteban. And before you know it, it'll be your Ethiopian friend Mugwayo-eep-eep-click-clop.
I am just razzing you. I heard that from one of Sideburns posts and I wanted to use it.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:58:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the definition of bravery?
Having a case of diarrhea and then chancing a fart.
-----------------
That was hilarious.
I like this one:
What is 12 inches long, has a purple head, and makes women scream?
Crib Death.
And this one:
What do niggers and tires have in common?
They both work better with chains on.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:35:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:23:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're on a tear today, huh T?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, I'm bored. You need to call me back. I tagged you last.
--------------------
Did you? Ok. I'll call you later baby cakes.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MVA=Most Viewed Authors??
First of all, I heard this joke from my Asian friend Tom in Critical Thinking class on Monday. I found it hilarious.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbllllllllllltttttttttt
(That was the sound of a wet fart. You had to be there, I guess).
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:23:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're on a tear today, huh T?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, I'm bored. You need to call me back. I tagged you last.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:24:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Knock, Knock!
.....
Who's there???
I ate mop.
I ate mop who?????
What? I don't get it...
I ate mop who?
I ate mop who????
________________________________________________
I guess it's easy to steal a joke from someone on the MVA. Suffice to say, I have been waiting for this.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Q: Why is Hellen Keller such a bad driver?
A: Because she's a woman.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Knock, Knock!
.....
Who's there???
I ate mop.
I ate mop who?????
What? I don't get it...
I ate mop who?
I ate mop who????
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're on a tear today, huh T?
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why did Jesus get all the chicks?
Because he was hung like this <extends both arms horizontally>.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:04:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what's funnier then cancer?
Crib death.
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-10-20 17:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BAWHAHAHAHA, Jesus biting his nails! That just RAWKS! OK here's a few of my fav's
What's better than winning the gold in the special olympics?
Not being retarded!
Stand like your jesus on the cross arms out and all and say "do you know what this is?"
A bad way to spend Easter!
Last but not least, move your open hand palm down up and down over your crotch and ask em who and what you're doing.
Jesus masturbating!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I see nip slip with that chick in the pink
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?
They're both niggers.
AND:
What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on 'em.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:47:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what's black and blue and doesn't like to have sex?
the 13 year-old in my trunk.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
7.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's green and has wheels?
??
Grass. (I lied about the wheels.)
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45590
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
An Ivy-Leaguer and a hillbilly enter a poetry contest. For the championship, the moderator tells them to make up a poem with "Timbuktu" in it.
Ivy-Leaguer goes first:
Across the blazing, desert sand
Strode a camel caravan
Dressed in splendor, through and through
Destination: Timbuktu.
The crowd applauds, in awe.
Then it's the hillbilly's turn:
A huntin' Tim and I did went
And came across three hookers in a tent
With them bein' three, we knew what to do
I bucked one, and Tim bucked two.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
.....
wanna go rike bikes??!!?!?!?
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you get a one-armed Pollock out of a tree?
Wave at him.
________________________________________________
There's a white guy, a black guy and a Mexican. They're all construction workers, sitting on a beam, high atop a highrise eating lunch. They each open their pails:
The white guy open his to a balogna sandwich. He says, "If I have to eat another balogna sandwich, I am going to kill myself."
The black opens his to leftover fried chicken. He says, "If I have t oeat leftover fried chicken again, I am going to kill myself."
The Mexican opens his to fajitas. He shares the same sentiment.
The next day, they are eating their lunches. Whitey opens his to a balogna sandwich, shrieks and jumps to his death. Blackey opens his pail and follows suit. Pedro does the same.
At the funeral, the white guy and black guy's wives were a mess. "If only I had packed him something different, he might still be here today."
The black guy's wife said the same. Together they looked on to the Mexican's wife in disbelief, as she was not upset.
"Don't look at me," she said. "He packed his own lunches."
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmm, I've always wanted to be with three woman at once
WHAT???
They'll be women one day
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:50:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Question? Why does it take a woman so long to get off.
Answer: Who the fuck cares!
-------------------------------
this would be a good ice breaker for the feminist lightbulb joke, I am using it.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.
The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."
The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man.
Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice.
Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"
"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-10-20 16:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My favorite is:
Why do women form Alabama like to fuck doggystyle?
So they can both watch championship wrestling.
Or:
What does it mean when an Alabama women has cum running out of both sides of her mouth?
It means the trailer's level.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the definition of bravery?
Having a case of diarrhea and then chancing a fart.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants.
The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"
And the pirate says, "Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!!"
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is black and white, red all over, and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:50:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Two sausages are frying in a fry pan. The first sausage looks to the second, and says "Man, it's hot in here."
The second sausage says, " Holy shit! A talking sausage!!"
----------------------------------------------
What do you say to a two headed alien?
"Hello. Hello."
======================
BHAHEWHWHWHHAHAHAH !!!1
if these are old i must live under a rock because I laughed my ass off
and then I picked it up off the floor and fucked it...come on who doesn't want to know?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These are da funny.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Question? Why does it take a woman so long to get off.
Answer: Who the fuck cares!
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Two sausages are frying in a fry pan. The first sausage looks to the second, and says "Man, it's hot in here."
The second sausage says, " Holy shit! A talking sausage!!"
----------------------------------------------
What do you say to a two headed alien?
"Hello. Hello."
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you keep four gay guys busy at a bar? Turn over a stool.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:46:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:39:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter is really a guy named Jose.
-----------------
What's the punchline? That I'm a guy or that I'm a Hispanic?
-----------------
Um, well, there really isn't a punchline. That was the joke! ;)
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where are an elephants sex organs?
In its feet......If it stands on you, you're fucked.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:38:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
My icebreaker whenever I meet a new girl, sitting at the bar is this:
I walk up really close behind them. I bring my mouth close to their ears, and say, "Excuse me, do you mind if I push in your stool?" They never get until my pants are down and my cack and bowls are out.
-------------------
AAHAHAHAHAHA>.....You so silly!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:39:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter is really a guy named Jose.
-----------------
What's the punchline? That I'm a guy or that I'm a Hispanic?
Bitch.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:44:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:41:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two.
One to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.
==================
That's fucking funny.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:41:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two.
One to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.
==================
That's fucking funny.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two.
One to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter is really a guy named Jose.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My icebreaker whenever I meet a new girl, sitting at the bar is this:
I walk up really close behind them. I bring my mouth close to their ears, and say, "Excuse me, do you mind if I push in your stool?" They never get until my pants are down and my cack and bowls are out.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lickolotopus.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what to italian flat tires sound like?
dago wop wop wop
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:23:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"
---------------
HAHAHAHAHHAHHA
Ok...
So, a baby seal walks into a club...
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Osama Bin laden went to heaven and was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!?" Patrick Henry then approached and punched Osama in the nose. James Madison came and kicked him in the shin. Thomas Jefferson whacked Osama over the head with a cane. The thrashing continued as John Randolph, James Monroe, and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader. Suddenly, as Osama lay writhing in pain, an angel appeared. "This is not what you promised me", said Osama. "Come on Osama," the angel replied. "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in heaven.""
- Readers Digest
cheezy, I know, but it cracked me up.
Submitted by monsieurstabby (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What do you call low-fat communion wafers?
I can't believe it's not Jesus
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:22:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
The only joke I know is about the blonde who is rowing a boat out in a field when another blonde comes up and asks...godammit drugs! I can't even remember how to get home after work sometimes.
---------
The one blonde is rowing her boat i nthe front lawn of her house. another comes out and asks what she is doing.
The first blonde says, "I'm just coming out to ge the paper."
The second says, "Blondes like you give the rest of us a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come over and kick your ass!"
A little disappointing, but good as blonde jokes go.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:04:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
"What does a gay horse eat?"
Haaay.
Props to Munkeypants for that one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paula stole that joke from me. Ask her.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:15:39 (#)
Ranking: 1
Most of my jokes have a visual element, but I'll give my favorite one a shot.....
What's this? [pretend to chew on something sticking out of your palm]
Jesus biting his nails!
I'll be here all week.
--------------------------------
+2 for that. The only joke I know is about the blonde who is rowing a boat out in a field when another blonde comes up and asks...godammit drugs! I can't even remember how to get home after work sometimes.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Donald Rumsfeld was giving the President his daily briefing. He concluded by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A bus carrying ugly people crashes into an on coming truck, and everyone inside dies.
They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced, he decides to grant them one wish each - before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is.
"I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous - but when God is halfway
down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says, "Make 'em all ugly again."
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bring the funny!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Most of my jokes have a visual element, but I'll give my favorite one a shot.....
What's this? [pretend to chew on something sticking out of your palm]
Jesus biting his nails!
I'll be here all week.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What did the Dago say to the Jew?
I have no idea, my granddad used to tell me that joke all the time, but my grandma would never let him finish it, and he took the punchline to the grave with him. If anyone knows the punchline to this joke, PLEASE let me know. It torments me not to know it.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My brain isn't working. 'Won' the lottery.
Fuck I am an idiot.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A snail one the lottery and wanted to buy a fast car to make up
for being so slow.
He went to a dealership and bought a Lamborghini. He told the
dealer that he wanted painted on the car a bunch of 'S's' Small
one's on the hood and a great big 'S' on the top of the car.
Dealer said "ok, but why all the S's?
Snail replied "So now when people see me, they'll say 'Look at that
S car go'".
I have such gay jokes I know this.
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Some how you snuck a giggle out of me....
Audi's car wasn't the most reliable in the world and she called Aman Preet whenever it broke down and she needed a ride. One day Preet got such a call.
"What happened this time?" he asked.
"My brakes went out. Can you come and get me?"
"Sure. Where are you?"
"I'm in the drugstore?"
"Where's the car at?"
"In here with me."
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-20 15:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"What does a gay horse eat?"
Haaay.
Props to Munkeypants for that one.