Silica Gel (525 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.4 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snuffleupagus (View user info) at 2005-10-20 22:56:01 EDT
So, I've been receiving a lot of -2DIE's from my last post, well, and the post before that. I decided I'd finally have to do a somewhat serious article.
I am retarded.
I became retarded one day about 2 years ago when I decided to eat a few (20) packets of silica gel. Silica gel is a dessicant used to keep many things dry during shipment. It comes in little packets that say "SILICA GEL, DO NOT EAT, THROW AWAY". It soaks up water, but that may almost completely be removed by putting it in the microwave for a few seconds.
When I ate my silica gel it poisoned me horribly and I got to have my stomach pumped. The latex stomach pump I had an allergic reaction with, causing my skin tissue to swell. My swollen skin tissue cut off a good deal of circulation to my brain for a substantial amount of time.
And that is why I am retarded.
Thankyou, goodnight, and silica gel tastes like super-crunchy rice cakes.
User Reviews
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-10-21 19:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're the most obvious alter ive ever seen and i love it.
Submitted by EvolvedChicken (user info) at 2005-10-21 00:07:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're not retarded, you're physically deformed.
Submitted by Snuffleupagus (user info) at 2005-10-21 00:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes, -2DIE.
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 die?
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no, they were the accidents.
you're just the lesser of two evils.
Submitted by Snuffleupagus (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:20:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He and my mother were TRYING to have a child, I wasn't an ACCIDENT!#($&^!@&*!!@%#!@$#^%!$!%!@$!^@%!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
obviously, he does not.
Submitted by Snuffleupagus (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My uncle DOES TOO know how to use a condom!#$!#$!#%!#@!@!@!@!@!@!@@!@!!!@!@!!!@!@!!!!1121@!!@!!one!@!@!eleven!@!@!$#$%^&!!!!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:13:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
im of the opinion, that you were declared retarded a lot longer than 2 years ago.
i suspect it wasn't the gel you had consumed, but the lack of proper condom use between your mother and her brother.
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmm it's an improvement