Nightwatch: GrUeberfest 2005 (773 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.96 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stardamage (View user info) at 2005-10-20 23:34:18 EDT
Finn pulled off first one glove, then the other, as he entered the convenience store. It was too bright after the walk from his building and he narrowed his hazel eyes against the fluorescent light, peering into one refrigerated case after another. Finally he found what he wanted and reached for the half-gallon of milk, gloves tucked under one arm.
Bringing the milk up to the counter, he asked for a pack of cigarettes to go with it and rummaged in his pocket for change. Glancing up, he saw a look of concern on the clerk's face. "Sir?" she asked uncertainly. "Are you all right?"
Finn raised his head to look at her. "Pardon?"
"You're crying..."
He raised a bare hand to swipe at his left eye which was freely weeping, though his right remained dry. "Oh...yeah. I go in next week for surgery. Old injury. Makes my tear ducts act up sometimes. I'm fine, though."
"Oh, okay." She relaxed, smiled. "Do you want a bag for those?"
"That's all right, I'll just stick the cancer in my pocket." He grinned back and wiped his eye again. "Whew! I better get going before this gets worse. Have a good night."
Finn paused a moment outside to set the milk down on the curb and pull some tissues from his coat pocket, slip the gloves back on and dab at his eye properly. After a bit the tears stopped and he slipped the tissues back into his pocket, clutching the used one in his gloved hand.
He'd been living on his own for just over eight months now, and it felt good to be able to walk down a street and smile at the unfamiliar people on their porches, just walk around anywhere he wanted. In fact, he often did that, taking long walks after he got home from work, wrapped up in his jacket and hat and gloves. Getting to know his neighborhood. He'd lived in other places, been familiar with the streets and where things were in other towns, but this was the first time he'd been truly on his own, and it felt so different, so satisfying.
He rounded the last corner and saw his apartment building down the street. Pulling a set of keys from his pocket, he unlocked the front door and made his way up the stairs quietly, not wanting to disturb the children who lived in the apartment below, who had trick-or-treated last week. Cute kids.
Reaching his apartment, he noted that the light under the door was off, which he thought was strange. Hesitating, Finn tried to remember whether he had actually turned the light out before he left or not. He couldn't decide and briefly considered knocking on his next-door neighbor's door, but then looked at his watch and decided against it. The lightbulb had probably burned out again - the socket in the kitchen consumed them like a living thing. Sighing and making a mental note to buy more lightbulbs, Finn unlocked his door and stepped inside into the living room with the kitchen off it, closing and locking the door again behind him.
Pain exploded in the back of his head and he fell with no resistance to the floor.
* * *
Finn came to after who knew how long, and tasted blood in his mouth. He tried to run his tongue around to see where he was bleeding from, and determined immediately that he had bitten almost through his lip when he had collapsed. The pain was nothing, however, compared to his sheer disbelief, mixed with pure, undiluted fear. It was her. Morgan. He knew it immediately.
After all this time. After eight months, just when he'd started to forget the terrible red nights when anything was cause for her malice. Just when he'd stopped looking over his shoulder every time he went out, expecting to see her following, just when he'd stopped jumping whenever he saw any kind of SUV that was any kind of red.
Just when he'd started to feel free again.
She had found him.
He realized all of this in an instant; his mind was moving at incredible speed from disbelief to anger to terror that made him feel sick. He hadn't opened his eyes. His left eye was running again, another memento from their days together. He'd always told people it was a rugby injury, his stomach sourly churning to see that spark of sadistic triumph in her face whenever she happened to overhear him.
Where was he?
He tried to sense his surroundings without moving. Who knew where she was or what she'd do. Maybe she was watching him right now...he suppressed a shudder at the thought. A draft made him realize he was naked, lying down on something smooth...bathtub. He was in the bathtub. No water in it though.
She'd put him there for easy cleanup.
At this thought, he couldn't help but open his eyes. His hands were taped behind him, his legs similarly bound. His first instinct was to scream but he quickly squashed that brilliant idea flat. She knew he wouldn't make any noise, because he'd already learned that lesson, and while he realized this, screaming just to spite her wouldn't do a thing except make her kill him.
Finn focused on calming down. He sucked a deep breath in and let it out. Panicking wouldn't do anything to help, since Morgan was undoubtedly past the stage where she could be mollified. His leaving had certainly been a heavy blow to her pride - Finn daring to just up and leave one day?
Oh yes, she was furious.
* * *
As he thought this, the door to the bathroom swung inward and she stood silhouetted in the frame. She was beautiful as ever, her cruelty masked by impassive grey eyes and soft lips. A heavy bang was swept to one side and the rest of her black hair was pulled back into a bun, to save it being sprayed, Finn thought. She set a bag down next to her and knelt in front of the tub.
"Well, Finnegan," she said. "Long time no see, hmm?"
He couldn't bring himself to answer, just stare. He felt himself begin to tremble.
She touched his curly ginger hair. "You've been growing your hair out, I notice." Finn tried not to flinch at her touch but couldn't help it. She suddenly grabbed hold of his hair and twisted hard.
"And now, Finn, we're going to have a nice long talk. Up close."
Something gleamed in her right hand but it was out of sight too quickly for Finn to get a good look at it.
"I've been waiting for you, my love. Watching and waiting, every night. Oh yes, Finnegan, we have a lot to talk about, you and I." Now her voice was rough and full of anger but she said no more, instead standing, dragging Finn up with her. He felt real tears of pain flowing now.
"Unfortunately, that won't be an option for you much longer, darling," she whispered, and held up her left hand, in which an X-acto knife gleamed, fresh from the case. He'd had some in one of the drawers in the kitchen for opening packages. He couldn't help squeaking at the sight of it and slumping in the tub. She let him go. Duct tape appeared out of nowhere and she tore a piece, taping his mouth now.
The blade was now on the counter and she followed his gaze to it, smiling. She reached out again to touch the goosebumps on his leg, tracing them up the inside of his thigh. "Are you cold, love? You've got goosebumps just...here."
He shook his head furiously and she bared her teeth in a smile, running one finger up and down. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth behind the tape. He felt her breath, and then she kissed just below his navel, right before the pubic hair began.
"Suit yourself then. Don't move an inch." And before he knew it, she was gone. Before he could even think about moving, she was back with a steaming iron in her hand.
She waved it in front of him, bringing it down to hover unbearably close to where her lips had just been. Finn felt the heat wash over his belly and genitals and screamed in horror, though the tape blocked most of it.
Morgan smiled, and then, lightning fast, grabbed his right foot and pressed the iron flat against the sole, pressing for only a few seconds, but it was enough. The pain was incredible and instantaneous. The same treatment for the other foot a few seconds later failed to even register - the agony was too great to distinguish where one pain stopped and the next began.
"You know we know each other very well, Finn," Morgan said quietly, watching him writhe. "Don't tell me this is any kind of surprise."
He rolled his eyes to look at her, every muscle in his body tightened to the fullest. Veins popped up here and there on his arms and in his neck, his skin bright red all over his body as he strained.
He moaned something through the tape that she didn't need to catch.
"No mercy here. You know what my name means."
He remembered - that statement was a familiar one. I have a battle goddess' name, she'd say when he first met her, when she was all playful eyes and laughing nature. Don't mess with me! And then, in bed, the same. And then, in their fights, the same. Each time he believed it, though the meaning changed with each time she said it. This time it meant ruthlessness and cruelty, and a love of the bloody work she did.
She rose and then straddled him in the bathtub, kissing his chest up and down, his belly, his shoulder, teeth grazing the hot skin here and there. Then, another touch of the iron to his side while she kissed the opposite shoulder. A lingering kiss on the cheek while the iron pressed his back and his tears flowed hot. Her tongue flicked his ear and the iron slapped his belly, and he begged her for death through the grey shield on his mouth, death that she assured him wouldn't come for a little while yet.
After an unknown time with the iron, it cooled enough that she was really having to press to burn Finn. She cast it aside and towered over him. He was barely conscious at this point and she turned on the cold water. She wanted him fully alert and he came back to, slamming his feet into the end of the tub as he jerked awake. He screamed and she put a finger to the duct tape to hush him. The water disappeared down the drain as she turned it off, and she pressed a hand to his forehead to tilt his head back and tear the duct tape off.
"You're not going to make any noise, are you Finnegan?"
He dropped his head to his chest and shook it, his back heaving with silent sobs. Morgan reached for the knife behind her back. Bringing it out, she let him take the gleam of it in, the razor-sharp edge. She was doing him that much of a courtesy at least, keeping the blade sharp. She was kissing him now, again, and he wanted to throw up but couldn't summon the energy.
Suddenly a hand was in his mouth, pulling. "Bite me," Morgan murmured, "bite me and I'll cut your teeth from your head before I finish. Make a noise and I can always think of something else."
Once again Finn slipped from consciousness but was brought back with the first cut of the knife, white-hot, slicing through all of the other pain he was feeling and going straight for the brain.
Another.
Another.
Another.
He lost count, feet bicycling weakly against the floor of the now-wet tub, the burns now barely felt against the fire in his tongue. Time stretched endlessly.
All of a sudden Morgan held something in her hand that she brought away from his mouth and she curled a fist around it, crushing it. Blood cascaded down from his mouth, gushing, just a river of red that traveled lazy circles down the drain. Finn watched it mesmerized, unable to think thoughts anymore, simply drifting on an ocean of fire and blood.
She tilted his head up, wiped the blood carefully from around his mouth and quickly pressed a new strip of duct tape against his clean face before it was slick with blood again, pressing it tight, and Finn felt his mouth begin to fill. Ah, so this is how it ends.
"Any questions, Finn?" she asked, and stared into his face for a moment. She laughed to see him squirm, kissed his forehead, and got up. A few minutes later he heard the kitchen sink running as she washed her hands.
His mouth was full of blood now and he brought himself to swallow. It felt like swallowing molten lead, running sticky and hot and metallic down his throat. Finn knew that at the rate he was bleeding, one of two things would happen: he would swallow enough blood to make himself sick and then he'd throw up and drown on his own vomit, or he would simply choke on the blood in his throat.
His nausea grew every time he made himself swallow, until bile ran thin and acidic in his mouth and he hunched over with his body's weak attempts to expel its own fluids through his mouth. The taste was unbearable, the metal and the sour acid churning in his mouth until he thought the bile must be curdling his blood to make it taste so bad. His nose was blocked with mucus from his crying - soon, his body would try to force itself to breathe through the mouth and it would be all over.
Finn waited.
It came suddenly, the urge to breathe, and he doubled over trying to cough as vomit and blood ran down the wrong passage towards his lungs. The throbbing in his head was at an unbearable pitch and then slowed. Everything slowed. He could barely see to the end of the tub, now, with all the blurring of his eyes. He closed them with the last of his energy and felt everything leaching out of him. Somewhere he dimly heard a door close, and gave up, finally getting away from her.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-10-25 20:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-10-21 13:49:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantasticly fucked.
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-10-24 14:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think AshK came closest to what I was trying to do here. I wanted it to seem like Finn really had just begun to get his shit back together and was getting used to the idea that Morgan wouldn't come for him anymore (don't ask me why he thought that, I don't know; a mix between extreme denial and wanting to see the best in people and situations I guess), and then the ultimate shock of her arriving so suddenly just took all the wind out of his sails.
It was written pretty fast and definitely could have used some editing so I see where it might have been muddy and difficult to believe.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-10-24 12:37:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was truly horrifying. I always find stories that "could" happen so much more terrifying than stories of things that are pretty much not even plausable(deamons, vampires, Martha Stewart being non annoying).
I wanted to give my take on why Finn didn't fight back. One of the feelings you get with abuse include the thought that if you lay low it won't be too bad, if you fight you make it worse if you accept your "punishment" it will be over sooner and the storm will pass. I think this could be the same thing. The story showed that the abuse had been constant and obvously very barbaric in the relationship. Even having the courage to leave may not give you the courage to stand up for yourself (fight back) if you were found. I think the lay low instinct would kick back in. If going to the store for milk feels like an accomplishment, this person was pretty broken.
I don't know, just my thought on it.
One of my favorite entries.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-22 11:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor Finn...I'm afraid the strain was more than he could bear.
Oh, and to follow suit with some of the others: HOLY SWEET TAPDANCING CHRIST ON A CRUTCH!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-10-22 07:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok caes, I see your point but.......I feel that once a person knows that he/she is going to die, then one of two things can happen. They give up altogether, or they fight like a mad bastard to live. in this case, Finn gives up. If he were too much of a puss to fight back initially, then why did he leave in the first place?
This is my question.
Also, if she is such a badass killer type, then why is he not paranoid enough to know that something is wrong when he gets home and finds that the light is off. I would think that, if everyday was a practice in staying alive and looking over your shoulder for someone, that he would be more wary when he got home.
Maybe I'm just looking at it from the perspective of what I would do as opposed to what someone else might do. Hard to say.
This part of the story was left hanging for me and left me totally unsatisified.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-22 07:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-10-22 00:01:08 (#)
Ranking: 1
He must want death if he is not fighting her or screaming or something. If he wants death then why did he leave her in the first place?
************************
I'll field this one!
I figured that Finn was just too terrified of her to fight. Sure, logically it makes sense for you to fight if you know you're going to be tortured to death by her, but Finn was so paralyzed with fear from his past experiences that he just wanted it to be over as quickly as possible. In my mind, this is one of the key elements that makes this story work.
The entire time he's in the tub, I was thinking, "Fight back, you stupid son of a bitch! Kick 'er in the box! FIGHT!"
But he never does. He never overcomes his own fear, let alone his tormentor. It left me with a chilly, disappointed feeling.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-10-22 00:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It is a nice tale but some things just don't make sense to me. How does she press the iron to his back while he is lying in a tub? Is she moving him around as she straddles him? How big is this tub? Is Finn a small man? He must want death if he is not fighting her or screaming or something. If he wants death then why did he leave her in the first place? She could have killed him easily enough when they were together. No matter how hard you press a lukewarm iron into somebody, it will not burn them. It doesn't matter how hard you press, it's a matter of temperature.
Maybe I just have too many questions. She could have been deliciously mischevious with that exacto knife.
Other than that, the feeling of dread this produces is comfortable and quite welcome.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-21 14:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spam = Owned
Nice work.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-10-21 14:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear holy mother of pearl. This was fucking awesome.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-10-21 13:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantasticly fucked.
I agree with your comment about this competition. It was fun writing for this as I'd never really tried horror either. Thanks for doing this Jack.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-10-21 10:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This gave me the warm and fuzzies.
Ah to be young and in love.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-10-21 10:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-21 09:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was eating breakfast when I read yours and caes's. I hate you both. WOW.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-10-21 09:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yiiiii
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-21 08:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want you to know that we could never be friends because if something went wrong I would be afraid of you and so I'd rather just avoid that possibility.
Please don't be mad...I'll do whatever you want of me.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-10-21 08:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*shakes and makes nervous guttural noises*
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-21 08:05:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanted to apologize again. AND, comment a little more on your piece.
One of the things that gives it it's 'kick' is that poor Finn never has a chance. Seriously, I kept wanting him to fight back, to tackle her, bite her, do whatever, but to fight, goddammit, and get free. But it never happened, never even came close. SO at the end you're left with: "Awww! Poor, poor bastard." And you get that sickly feeling, the feeling you get when you know that 'the bad guys' won. It takes guts to write something like that.
You're 18? Wowzers...this is pretty damn good for someone who's still pretty young. Good work again, young lady.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-21 08:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH SHIT!!
I FUCKED UP YOUR STREAK!!
Ohhhhhh, I am so, so sorry. This deserves +2's across the board. I am usually SO careful with that, wha hoppen a me???
Sorry sorry sorry. Let it be known to the GrUeberfest powers that be, this should be a perfect 2. Please remove my idiotic review from consideration.
:(
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-10-21 07:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:59:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet gibbering Christ!
======
What he said
fast clap fast clap fast clap fast clap fast clap fast clap
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-10-21 07:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty: why not??
Yes, I am female! Girl, even, at 18.
Believe me, I felt so bad for Finn while I was writing this. I liked him a lot, just the idea I had for him. He's not really based on anybody in particular, though.
Luckily!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-21 05:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thunderous applause is what this post needs, lots of people clapping and shouting "Whoo, yeah!".
I'd offer you me as a prize, but won't for obvious reasons.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-21 05:34:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My feeble attempt will be up later today hopefully. Midnight here is about 19:00 Uber-time and the rate I'm going with this bloody thing you can look out for it at around 18:59.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-21 05:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<vomits>
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a chick? I love you. I was very impressed by this little tale...
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i read this and all i can say is....POOR FINN :(
Seriously, this made me sad.
I guess that means it's awesome.
DEUCE, BABY!
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He messed up my rating. That's what he did.
He's dead now.
Just kidding. I fed him a few days ago and he was okay then.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What did Will Ferrell ever do to you?
Was it the cowbell?
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-10-21 00:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope, love them. Except that Farrell fellow.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-21 00:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SWEET MONKEY-KILLING JEEBUS!!
Good...LORD woman!! I thought my tale was fucked up. That was just...so horribly mean.
* puffs on pipe * Do you have some latent agression towards Irish men, Miss Stardamage?
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2005-10-21 00:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-21 00:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus...
H...
God dancing...
Christ...
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-10-21 00:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-10-21 00:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't written anything scary like this before. It's pretty creepy where my mind will go if I let it.
These comments are making me laugh. This contest is probably one of the best ideas ever. I love the multiple-author thing and the themed competition is awesome too.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-21 00:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Halloween, you distorted fuck!!
Good shit!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet gibbering Christ!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
omfg its teh Ryan sauce!!!!11!1!!!?>11//11
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2005-10-20 23:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment