If You're Ever on Jupiter.... (1120 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: planetseries
Rating: 1.94 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Steve's House of Dragoncakes (View user info) at 2005-10-21 03:32:23 EDT
They sell dreams on Jupiter. They wrap them up in purple paper and hand them to you from across a big marble counter. Some people walk out with piles of packages. Little red wagons filled with all the little hopes you hide away in those far corners of your mind.
We went to Jupiter to find our dreams. Well I went for the dreams. She went for the sailing. Sailing on Jupiter is quite lovely, we had read. Of course, we read that in the Jupiter Tourism Board's Annual List of Things to do on Jupiter. It's not that long and most of the iteams have to do with sailing. I hate sailing. It reminds me of death.
I walked up to the counter and asked for the package with my name on it. The dream makers like to be thorough. Don't want some one else getting their mitts of mischief on your dreams. She handed me a tiny box. It was like the box the dentist would give you when you had a tooth pulled. Except this one didn't have a tooth in it.
She told me it was free.
Then we went sailing. We rented a boat with a bright blue sail and pushed it out into the wind. The crimson tinted waves lapped at the side of the boat as we drifted out. The entire trip, out onto the sea of the Great Red Spot, I stared at the box. All my dreams were in this tiny box.
When I shook it, it sounded empty.
From across the deck, I saw the wind catch her hair. She wasn't interested in her dreams on this trip. She told me we'd come back. I bet her dreams could fill the sea. The pile would explode in a wave of purple regency. I'm just a drop in her sea. I'm an empty Christmas morning. Nothing but winter and cold and the promise of more winter and cold. And dirty Christmas dishes.
Her eyes were looking out onto the horizon. Always looking forward. I'm always looking backward, waiting for whatever is chasing me to catch up.
I stand. I put the box on the deck.
And then I dive over the edge of our little sailboat.
Down, down, down. Down to where overly vague metaphors make sense and all the legos the vacuum cleaner ate are stored. Those are on Jupiter too. I wonder why they don't sell those with the dreams. But that would make too much sense.
Things don't have to make sense in the sea of the Great Red Spot. You don't drown in wind. You float and you glide. You drift. You drift until a grizzly old man fishes you out. He's fishing for tomatoes in a sea of wind, on a giant planet filled with people holding little purple packages of their dreams. The oddest thing that comes to mind from that statement is that all the tomatoes on Jupiter are blue and sell real estate. But they live in a sea of wind, so the real estate can't be all that good.
Don't go looking for your dreams on Jupiter. Go for the sailing.
Unless you equate sailing with death, that is. Some people just hate boats.
And tomatoes.
--
Venus: http://www.ubersite.com/m/75715
Saturn: http://www.ubersite.com/m/75497
Pluto: http://www.ubersite.com/m/73401
Mercury: http://www.ubersite.com/m/72428
Neptue: http://www.ubersite.com/m/71494
Mars: http://www.ubersite.com/m/70839
Ron Mexico name generator: http://gorillamask.net/ronmexico/
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-24 02:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did Ron Mexico's herpes taste good?
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-10-26 23:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Splooge-tastic!
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-10-22 02:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I refuse to read this.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-10-22 00:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I went out to get my revenge and instead I came back with a sandwich.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-10-22 00:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
where have you been mister???
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-10-21 14:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There you go. Much better.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-10-21 12:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice. I'll read one of the others now.
Submitted by resignator (user info) at 2005-10-21 12:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-21 12:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking loved this!
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2005-10-21 11:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's quite an imagination you've got there
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-10-21 11:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa, you combined a whole bunch of shit and made something perfect.
+2.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-10-21 10:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-21 04:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-21 04:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my grandma is from canadia.
HEY you know the Edmonton cops have to pretend to be gay and hold hands walking down the street in order to pass the academy?
what. the. ghey.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-10-21 04:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I drank my hot chocolate too fast and now the top of my mouth has blisters.
WHY? WHY GOD WHY?
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-21 04:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-10-21 04:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That son of a beekeeper.
He's off my Christmas card list. And my Easter Card list.
...I still think I'll send him a Canada Day card, but that's just because I know he hates it.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2005-10-21 04:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
inspired whimsy
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-21 04:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he did it to us all...even our alters, whoever they may be.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-10-21 04:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just realized that rad went through and broke all my +2 streaks.
This hurts more than all the cat scratches and bites on my legs.
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-10-21 04:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, so that's what's been wrong with the little fella. He misses
casual sex.
-- Homer Simpson
Two Dozen and One Greyhounds
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My cat was biting me. I couldn't concentra...Conten...
Fuck he's doing it again.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neptune is one of your best and you misspell it in the link?
For shame.